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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I can have a new born baby and seven animals?

59 replies

Worriedandabitscared · 02/12/2020 15:24

Hi all,

I don't know if I'm going to get flamed for this but I wanted to ask and hear other peoples experience. I thought I'd be fine but then a Facebook post has popped up with someone rehoming their animals as they've had a new baby and now I'm worried:

I have seven animals, five cats (all assholes 😂) and two dogs (pug and springer spaniel both two years old), I have a three bedroom house, ones my bedroom, the other is baby's bedroom and the third is the cat room/storage (where they are fed and where the litter is as dogs eat it in the kitchen) when baby comes, cats will not be allowed in my room or the baby's room, they'll be allowed in their room, the living room and kitchen ( living room has no door so couldn't keep them out anyway) I've got some nets for the Moses basket and I've moved them out of like the car seat and used a lint roller and the dogs will be staying at my mum and dads for the first few weeks with daily introductions to the baby (the reason they are staying at my parents is because my springer is very boisterous and will jump up to say hello and I'm worried about the recovery cos he jumps at belly's, this is his only behaviour problem and it's getting better as he gets older, they're both relatively chill now, they're asleep next to me as i type this. I genuinely don't think my animals are a risk to the baby, I made a joke about the cats being assholes but honestly they all have lovely temperaments, they're all gentle (dogs especially) so I have no concerns but I wonder if I'm being too naive? The animals were all rescued/bought before I was even pregnant and the pregnancy wasn't planned and people have told me to get "rid" of them but I can't, it's not in my nature but I know I need to protect my son but I'm not going to rehome my animals for simply existing (obviously if they posed a danger then I'd have no choice and I understand that) has anyone got any successful stories of animals and babies or aibu to think it could work?

OP posts:

Thread gallery

Freshair85 · 02/12/2020 17:39

I have a baby and a dog, safety wise I don't have any concerns- he has no sense of personal space but has been very good with her and just wants to sniff her and give her ears a lick. Even if I have the baby in bed with me he will just stay at the bottom of the bed.
Your set up with your parents sounds good and I think you won't have any problems, my only issues is that my dog has bad separation anxiety after lockdown so I can't go out much with the baby and on non dog Walker days he may not get a walk til DP is home and obviously can't have long days out without sourcing dog care but in your situation I think you'll be fine

FestiveChristmasLights · 02/12/2020 17:40

I can’t see the issue. Some people seem to look for excuses to get rid of their pets.

Coffeeandaride · 02/12/2020 17:42

Sounds fine and that you have thought through/have a plan.

However all my friends with dogs and new baby said they would never leave them alone, and after a couple of months inevitably do. They say “”they are great with baby” etc but still makes me nervous.

It wouldn’t be the dogs fault.

Zoolally · 02/12/2020 17:49

When I had my twins, I had 3 dogs and 2 cats. Also had a 2 year old. So many people (including my parents) told me I wouldn’t manage and to rehome my dogs, especially the Rottweiler. Honestly, we got into a routine so quickly. The dc are now 5 and 8 and have a great relationship with all the animals. The Rottweiler passed away last year at the age of 14 but the was so gentle and calm with the kids. I’ve never left any of them alone with the animals though, even now. Stair gates are you friends. We have 7 of them in our house and don’t allow any animals upstairs.

Debradoyourecall · 02/12/2020 17:59

Newborn will probably be easy, as baby stays in one place when you put them down... toddler might be hardest stage, when he’s too young to follow instructions but very mobile and keen on pulling the tail/poking the eyes of your lovely cats and dogs.

Biggles001 · 02/12/2020 17:59

You will be fine. You've clearly thought it all out and it's not like you're getting new animals at the same time, so are at least used to the work they all entail.
I don't want this to be a competition, but I had 2 horses, dog, cats and birds and we all survived just fine. Yes it takes a bit of juggling and getting used to, but you will be fine xx

cansu · 02/12/2020 18:04

I don't think it means you have to rehome but I think you need to be cautious. Many people make the mistake of becoming complacent and will say things like oh they are great with the kids; the kids cuddle them etc etc. The fact is that you cannot ever be completely sure of how an animal with react if something unexpected happens or if a child touches or grabs them in a way they don't like. If you are prepared to be vigilant then fine. I think though that having so many makes this hard. I have had a cat when I had my children and the cat showed absolutely no interest in the child. I was however still careful. I think that this becomes even more crucial with a dog as the injuries can be more significant. Dogs are also more time intensive and you will need to be sure that you will be able to walk dog at times you need to. If you live alone that means getting sleepy, cosy baby out of the house and into a pram or sling in the cold. Will you be able or want to do this?

eaglejulesk · 02/12/2020 18:10

It's absolutely fine, and it's great for kids to grow up with animals. I despise people who give away pets simply because they are having a baby.

Didiplanthis · 02/12/2020 18:21

I second lots of stair gates ( on every door if possible). It just means you are never tempted by the they will be be fine while I answer the door, go the toilet etc moment's that become so easy to slip into after a while.

sweetkitty · 02/12/2020 18:22

I had 3 cats when DC was born, cats stayed right away from the baby. We soon all settled into a routine. Cats sleep most of the day then came downstairs at night for fuss. As someone else said stair gates are your best friend, we had litter trays in big walk in cupboard in kitchen and gate across kitchen door so no access. And across the stairs. Might be worth getting a travel cot as somewhere safe to put the baby if you need the toilet etc I found ours invaluable (especially when toddlers came along).

Didiplanthis · 02/12/2020 18:25

We had wayyyyyy more animals when I had my DC but most were outside only dog and cat indoors. Dont assume you will have family of animal lovers though. 2 of mine are happy enough around them but not that fussed. One has never been entirely convinced despite no untoward events, he just doesn't get the point of them and doesn't do outdoors !

foxyroxyyy · 02/12/2020 18:27

All I could think reading this is that your house must smell really bad

Leonberger · 02/12/2020 18:33

@foxyroxyyy is there any need to be so rude

Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 02/12/2020 18:39

My dcats didn't venture near ds until he was walking!! Do your dcats go out? I would reconsider having litter trays when your ds can crawl... Ime dc love to play with litter! Also they may need a break for the crying!! Very loud for dpets delicate ears..
not envy.

blackkitty1234 · 02/12/2020 18:39

Oh dear. It angers me that people have told you to get rid of your animals before you’ve even tried to make it work! How awful.

I am almost seven months pregnant. We have three gorgeous cats and a lovely dog - staffie cross. Rehoming them hasn’t even entered my mind. They are not disposable, they are family.

I can’t see why it wouldn’t work. You just need to make plans and take precautions. For example, not leaving baby and doggies alone unsupervised. Do you have a partner who can pick up the dog walking when you are busy with baby?

I used to volunteer for a rescue and people giving up their animals because they are having a baby was my pet hate. People like this shouldn’t have animals in the first place. Obviously if someone has actually tried to make it work, but the dog or cat just cannot live with children for whatever reason then I totally understand and have sympathy. I would hate to be in that position myself. It’s just the people that don’t even try to make it work that piss me off. Rehoming should be last resort.

Verrucapepper · 02/12/2020 18:42

I had 4 cats, 3 Guineas pigs, and loads of fish/frogs/birds/hedgehogs to feed in the garden when DS was born. Animals make a home IMHO! Your son will hopefully grow to love and respect animals too, just like you.

Original poster

Worriedandabitscared · 02/12/2020 18:47

@foxyroxyyy

All I could think reading this is that your house must smell really bad

It doesn't, we clean the cat litter daily and wash food bowls out every night after we've washed our own up. We also spray round the house - then again it might smell and we just might be used to it

OP posts:

majesticallyawkward · 02/12/2020 18:52

It enrages me when people say you need to regime animals because you have a baby- even more so when they actually do it.

A responsible pet owner is perfectly capable of introducing a child to existing pets and OP, you sound like a very loving pet owner. You know your pets and will be able to assess how they are coping or if their behaviour changes and step in.

It's lovely for children to grow up with animals, my own DC have 2 cats at home (only because dh refuses to have more!) and my mum has a large breed dog that we spend a lot of time with and they both love and respect animals- or the 5yo does anyway, 1yo is still working on gentle hands.

Rockandgrohl · 02/12/2020 18:54

It will be fine. I had to start shutting the cats out of our bedroom while I was pregnant as I was worried about them sitting on the baby and smothering him and I wanted them to get used to it before he arrived.
As it turned out baby was a crier so the cats kept their distance anyway (I didnt blame them 😬...I was a bit jealous that I didn't have that option tbh 🤣). Now baby is a toddler and one of the cats sleeps in his bed every night and they are the best of friends, he lets him do anything with him. The other is still wary and we just let her get on with it, we always have a baby gate up so she has a room she can get away from DS when he's being too annoying!

Snowpaw · 02/12/2020 19:06

Walking two dogs plus having a baby to care for would push me over the edge I think! Little things like sometimes the rocking motion of the pram gets the baby to have their nap and if you’re having to stop every five minutes to pick up dog poo or wait for the dog to sniff things etc then the baby would wake up and you’d have a grumpy over tired baby to deal with all afternoon / evening. Then when baby is a toddler your walks become essentially you standing in a park while toddler walks round in circles looking at leaves etc, while the dog might be straining on lead wanting a big run - I would find it hard to manage their competing needs I think.

Having to care for the animals / clean in the precious evening hours after baby is finally asleep would be another down side for me. I wanted absolutely minimal other obligations on myself in the first year. I just wanted to either sleep myself, watch my programmes or read etc. It will be a lot of additional work at a time you may well be feeling overstretched mentally, physically and emotionally. But then again, everyone is different. I’m not saying it’s impossible.

ButtWormHole · 02/12/2020 19:12

I’m here for pics of the cat room.

mistermagpie · 02/12/2020 19:13

This thread is making me understand people who say they couldn't manage more than one child. If you already have pets, taking care of them is not that big of a deal, they are just part of your life. Yeah you have to walk the dogs but most people go for a walk with their baby anyway! Cats are pretty much no work once they aren't kittens.

Obviously keep an eye on the dogs but any dog owner knows not to leave a dog with a child. I don't trust dogs myself but I don't think rehoming a beloved pet is what's required here.

Hm2020 · 02/12/2020 19:16

I had 3 dogs and a newborn never crossed my mind to regime them it’s more the work when you’ve been up all night feeding a newborn but it will be your normal and baby’s normal. My dogs barked badly at the door well one of them did and I explained to a midwife how I was worried the baby would be scared by the barking she said some born in to houses with 12 other children I realised she was right he never so much as flinched