To be fed up of the silent treatment?

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DH and I had a row this afternoon. He’s (kindly) paying for something for me and today I had to ring up and pay for it over the phone. He insisted I put them on speaker and he read out the card details- fine. Did so, all done, I then took them off speaker and went to talk to them again. DH jumped up, mouthed WTF and started angrily gesticulating at me to put them back on speaker. I was annoyed at him being like that as there was no need. He’d paid, transaction was done. I then needed to speak about timings for collection etc.

We had a row when I put the phone down as I said why on earth did he get so worked up about me taking them off speaker. He said I should’ve kept them on speaker until he was sure they were done with him and didn’t need any other details. I said, she said ‘thank you, all done’ and even if she did, I could’ve just put her back on speaker.

I said I’m fed up of him flying off the handle over the smallest things. I said I’m fed up of him moaning at me all ye bloody time at the moment. It’s become like living in a bloody dictatorship.

I then took the dogs out. Got back an hour later and he hasn’t spoken to me since.

I HATE the silent treatment. He’s waiting on me to back down and apologise for arguing with him. Which I won’t do.

He’s one of these people that WILL go to sleep on an argument and I hate it.

Generally (despite how it sounds) are relationship is really good and loving and we hardly ever row. But when we do, he sulks like a child.

He’s just so fucking anal about everything. It annoyed him that I didn’t behave exactly how he wanted me to behave (by taking it off speaker) like it’s such a tiny deal, why start huffing, puffing and gesticulating like a mad man?! Why not just roll your eyes and let it go. He’s got to create a drama over the tiniest of things.

I’m just so fed up, I need to get out of this house and socialise with people that aren’t him. We’ve been in each other’s pockets, without a proper break for weeks now.

What waste of energy! Arguing about something so trivial. Both need to practice the notion of letting go.

I often wonder how common this behaviour is in relationships?

If I were to hazard a guess I’d say very.

Op, my dh sounds very similar. Generally fine with occasional bouts of this ridiculous, controlling, childish behaviour. I never back down either and eventually he gets out of his sulk.

I’d love to know the reason for it .

@Wearywithteens

My husband would’ve just handed me his card and let me get on with it - why did he have to read it out? Have you asked him why he’s so angry about nothing?

I do agree with this about the credit card, mine would have done the same.

I find it weird he didn't just hand you his card! You're married, in theory therefore s no "his money".

The silent treatment, especially if someone uses it regularly, is emotional abuse. It wears you down. My ex husband defaulted to this all the time. It was in his final 4 day silent treatment that I realised, enough, and began the process of ending things.
Tell him, the more he does this, the more time you have to think and it's unlikely to be good thoughts about him.

No mention of sex or gender as a relevant factor at all.

You’re projecting your own prejudices and insecurities onto a factual statement

Well, the simple fact is that the overwhelming majority of abuse is carried out by men against women, so you'd have been entirely within your right had you ascribed this behaviour as mostly a male trait. Which you didn't, but could have done.

Op, is your relationship only good when you behave as he wants you to?

Everyone saying it's weird that he didn't transfer OP the money or hand her the card, that is just another little example of the control he exerts over her.

I personally could not live with someone who is basically a bully.

When buying stuff over the phone, if the person using the card is obviously not the same gender, the retailer will ask for the card holder to come to the phone, I have experienced this when paying things for my adult son.

Dsis had a stbxh who earned all the money, kept it sqirrelled away in his own account, paid her a monthly household allowance and then refused to give her more if she either went over budget or didn't behave as he expected her to. Days and days of silent treatment ensued until she almost begged him to talk to her and give her more money for essentials. There then followed a honeymoon period in which he lavished gifts and nice things on her, so she became convinced it was in her imagination and he was a lovely, thoughtful man who just had a lot to deal with owning his own business.
He saw her as the hired help, never lifting a finger around the house and then complaining when things weren't right.

You're married op. I'd be interested to hear what the other dynamics are in the relationship, whether you have joined accounts/ savings or whether you're given money and expected to be grateful.