to be terrified?

[Newkitty]

I've just read in The Times that the UK's economy is forecast to have the slowest recovery from covid of all developed nations. Brexit is on the horizon. Debenhams has just folded. Everything is absolutely terrifying, and this country is already on its knees - schools and hospitals are crumbling, millions of people rely on food banks. How much worse is it going to get?

How do you cope? I can't concentrate. Everything seems so pointless. What can we do? There's no amount of preparation that would make a difference. We don't have enough room to stockpile even if we had the cash to do it. We rely on systems working. I'm so, so scared.

Thank you so much Newkitty.Sorry I didn't mean to underplay the way you are feeling, just that's the way I have coped.Hope you feel better soon.
We are strong and will get there !

Terrified? Yes, YABU. You have a roof over your head, you will have a roof over your head tomorrow, and you will wake up, healthy and safe.

Concerned at economic affairs? No, YANBentirelyU. You may have a few quid off your pension (whenever you qualify for it), but you will still have a roof over your head, food in your belly, and an NHS to look after you.

Yes your kids "will be paying it off" for years to come, but if this year hadn't happened, the powers that be would still find a reason to up the taxes, increase the debt, squeeze the NHS, cut something from schools, close a hospital etc. It has always been thus.

Sit, look outside, feed the birds, walk past a school at lunchtime and listen to the kids having fun. Life is good, millions of people (OK, mainly dads) have had a great year reconnecting with their kids, if you didn't listen to the news you wouldn't know anything was wrong.

It was worse in the 70s and 80s, they were very grim times and the Russians were constantly on the brink of wiping us out. The govt sent out information leaflets on what to do in the event of a nuclear attack, it doesn't get much worse than that.

Everything will sort itself out.

@Mamamia456

Cushioncovers - Good Post.

yes.

I cope because I'm largely an optimist and becauseI don't really give those things much thought on a day-to-day basis. In terms of Covid there's the vaccination coming. As for the economy, and Brexit (which I voted against), I am assuming it will be shit but cope-able with tbh. I cope because essentially I think we'll be ok.

@Clarich007

Thank you so much Newkitty.Sorry I didn't mean to underplay the way you are feeling, just that's the way I have coped.Hope you feel better soon. We are strong and will get there !

This.

I don't want to underplay your fear either, everyone's fears are real and valid and everyone copes in the best way they can. This year has been unprecedented and the fears are real but we cannot control those exterior things, we can only control how we respond to them. For me, when we were waiting for DP's surgery I was terrified that another lockdown would mean his surgery was cancelled so the best way I could cope was not to read up too much on C-19 or lockdowns and to have a stern word with myself every time I woke in a cold sweat thinking about it. I'd ask myself what my worrying would change and the answer was always 'nothing' so I would do some squared breathing and concentrate on that instead. You need to find what works for you

I cope by not watching, or reading, the news more than once or twice a week. Even then I’ll switch it off if there’s too much negativity.

My DH has also been banned from mentioning anything Brexit related.

It’s not that I’m completely sticking my head in the sand, but more that I recognise that there is very little I can do, so I’m better off not worrying about it.

@GreenlandTheMovie

Most people seem to be coping by sticking their heads in the sand or by getting obsessed about the various leaders - the cult surrounding Sturgeon in Scotland, who has fully used this crisis to push for independence, is almost as worrying as the economic crisis. And Scotland wasn't great economically to start with.

The bigger problem is why our country keeps getting such awful, incompetent people in government who gives jobs to their cronies, and why there is no appetite for stopping this by legislating against it.

Agree!!!

It's just more hazing trying to get us to blink on the Brexit negotiations, from the same people who predicted that we would meet economic disaster if we didn't join the Euro.

You are freaking out about things that may or may not impact you personally. You are terrified because you are considering it all simultaneously. You can only wait to see what impacts you and deal with any consequences, one at a time.

I care about people, society and various serious issues but the sad truth is this, I can't do a single thing to help so I am not going to kill myself worrying about it all too much.

Your worrying won't change a thing either.

Also, your predictions of doom are quite depressing and unwelcome. Unless you have invented a time machine that you have failed to mention, you do not know anything for certain.

When I think back to how the MN boards were obsessed with coronavirus in January, I can't believe that nobody seems to be worried about Brexit. Or even planning for it. It's going to be so much worse than Covid.

That's quite offensive considering all the people, across the world and not just our shitty little corner of it, who have died, gotten lifelong health problems from having it or who have lost everything due to lockdowns and restrictions.

@Newkitty

When I think back to how the MN boards were obsessed with coronavirus in January, I can't believe that nobody seems to be worried about Brexit. Or even planning for it. It's going to be so much worse than Covid.

No, it isn't. Imagine if this time last year someone told you there was going to be a global pandemic - you'd have been panicking. You would have assumed that society was going to break down and there were going to be troops on the streets.

And yet here we are, posting on Mumsnet about our Christmas plans and moaning about the massive inconvenience of having to, er, wear a mask to the shops.

Maybe there'll be a deal, maybe there won't. Either way, the immediate impact will possibly be a few shortages - and we coped with that in March.

So, as others have said, try to stop worrying/catastrophising about things you can't change, and focus on the things you can.

Terrified! You don't even know the meaning of the word. Terrified is being woken up in the middle of the night and rushed to the shelters and hope you will still have a home when the all clear goes. Being in school in the middle of lessons an d again taken to the shelter. Hoping your Mum is safe at home and your Dad is still alive somewhere else in the world whilst fighting for his country. Yes I have experienced all these things and am still here to tell the tale. Today we have supermarkets full of food, I agree things might be harder to get but with a little careful planning surely you can stock a few essentials. We have a Health Service that is doing its best at this diffiult time but you will not be turned away from A & E. Life may be different but for goodness sake think yourself lucky that you live in a civilised country. As others have said stop reading the papers and listening to the news and go for a walk and think of positives and not negatives.

One small thing that DH and I are doing is moving gradually to a vegetarian diet. I get a veg box based solely on surplus and peculiar veg that the supermarkets won't take. Some of it comes from other countries, but I anticipate a move to UK grown, seasonal produce. We only buy UK meat and very little of it. We are trying to only support local businesses, shop in charity shops, recycle and reuse as much as possible. We have a tiny garden, but I did grow some vegetables this year and plan to grow a lot more next year.
I was born just after the end of the war, when we were coming out of rationing, and I think we will be going through something similar for several years.
Supply of medicines is a worry. My health is very poor, but I am only on cheap drugs atm. DH is diabetic and I do worry about him.
Luckily, my DC have dual nationality, so have more choices than many people.

I’m sorry that you’re feeling so anxious OP. Do you remember the lead up to the new millennium? People worried about food shortages, computers crashing, even planes falling out of the sky! What happened? Nothing at all really, we all woke up the next day!
I do share your concern about the economy though, I think the younger generation are going to be suffering the consequences of this pandemic for many years to come. But, life is a gift and we need to appreciate each day.

The way I see it is this:

It's not in anyone's interest to allow the economy to collapse - that's been well demonstrated by the swift introduction of various schemes during the pandemic such as furloughing. As well as this, we are industrious people, many many people see opportunities where others see risk, and they'll start trading, and the economy will pick up again. Yes, there's likely to be a time lag, and maybe some short term issues (toilet paper, anyone?), but we're adaptable, and we will adapt accordingly.

I say this as a staunch remainer BTW.

Watch some Real Royalty documentaries on YouTube with Dan Jones. This is nothing to what our ancestors had to deal with!

There is a saying in Scotland 'We never died a winter yet'

I love the way you've randomly thrown Debenhams closing in there! 🤣 You're catastrophising and that bit proves it. And breathe. Look up 'catastrophising' there's advice and techniques to help you deal with it x

2) the fact that there are foodbanks is a positive sign

Yes, a positive sign that lots of people in our country cannot afford to feed themselves and their families.

And with Brexit finally popping into being next year OP, I'd suggest you channel your anxiety into taking practical "just in case" measures. It might help you feel more in control.

YABU. Are you young?

The older you get you will look back at all the "terrifying" times you have lived through ok.

No way were we going to survive polio, the wars, the 1918 flu, the recession, 3 day week of the 70's, AIDS, Nuclear Wars, the cold war, bombs from the Irish troubles, Massive unemployment in the 80's, metorite hits and many I have forgotten about etc etc. Civilisation did mananage to carry on...

Tbh the writing was on the wall for Debenhams for years it was stuck in the 70's Massive shops no original products poor online presence. We managed to cope when Woolworths went bust.....

Have faith do things that make you feel happy and do not be terrified

@TonTonMacoute

It's just more hazing trying to get us to blink on the Brexit negotiations, from the same people who predicted that we would meet economic disaster if we didn't join the Euro.

Ha ha. Yes, it's just Remainers going around killing the economy on purpose....

I hear you OP. Between Trump, Brexit, Covid and climate change it has felt like a never ending cycle of worry (and I'm old enough to remember when we thought we'd be wiped out by the Russians). I was very worried back in March 2019 as we approached the deadline..I live at the end of the supply chain so I did think we may end up with empty shelves. Yes we survived this March and the panic buying, but that was a demand problem, this would be a supply problem which is different. However ...by January Trump will be gone and Biden who is pro tackling climate change will be at the helm, there will be (everything crossed) a vaccine being rolled out and if we crash out of the EU without a deal there will very quickly be a need to sort the problem at the ports. Do what you can to self care - if that is turning off the news do so, if it's having a few cans of beans and packs of cereal under the bed then do so..this too shall pass.

We survived a far worse economic mess in the 1940s and again in the 1970's. The 70s were grim, I couldn't get a decent job for love nor money, had to retrain. I had a set menu for the week, couldn't deviate at all, the joys of living on egg and chips one day and faggots the next. Couldn't eat a faggot now if you paid me but they were cheap, the fear of having the fire on (central heating was a luxury I could only dream of.) The hysterical joy the year I won the playgroup raffle and won a hamper. Someone with a car (another luxury we could only dream of) offered to drop it round for me but I was so scared of it getting lost or stolen before they were ready to leave that I got the baby out of the pram and put the hamper in and carried the baby home with toddler hanging on to me as I pushed the pram home.

I always try to put lots in the foodbank box at Christmas as I remember how it felt that year when I suddenly had lots of stuff.

Obviously the 40s were grim but I wasn't around, the 50s weren't much of a laugh though.

It has felt a bit like we are in Hell's waiting room for a while. It feels closer now, partly because of incessant restrictions on the economy and partly because winter weather always has that sort of emotional impact.

For some people it is already viscerally real - lost jobs etc just before Christmas. For others it is an anxious wait. I feel so very lucky to have a secure job and most of the time I am too busy to think about it, but I am angry when I do stop to think about it. I realise the seriousness of this virus, but the damage assessment is not being properly measured and I do not believe it is the role of government to stop all Covid deaths at the cost of all else.

We have a friend who has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer after the original April appointment was cancelled. Diagnoses in all cancers and other life threatening illnesses are still way down, not because fewer people are getting cancer, but because there is a backlog of appointments. And that is just one other area of health. Mental health problems and suicide are already up and more will follow as bankruptcies take their toll.

I just had a thought. I was the youngest, and probably poorest, mum at playgroup. Everyone was so thrilled I won. Was the raffle a fix? I never thought of it before but I can see the committee ladies all smiling and so excited for me, I bet it was and I could cry.