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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be terrified?

158 replies

Newkitty · 01/12/2020 13:54

I've just read in The Times that the UK's economy is forecast to have the slowest recovery from covid of all developed nations. Brexit is on the horizon. Debenhams has just folded. Everything is absolutely terrifying, and this country is already on its knees - schools and hospitals are crumbling, millions of people rely on food banks. How much worse is it going to get?

How do you cope? I can't concentrate. Everything seems so pointless. What can we do? There's no amount of preparation that would make a difference. We don't have enough room to stockpile even if we had the cash to do it. We rely on systems working. I'm so, so scared.

OP posts:
GreyishDays · 01/12/2020 13:58

I have found stockpiling reassuring, maybe have a think about nooks and crannies you could use. It’s only going to be for a few months.
For example, under a bed or on top of kitchen cupboards or wardrobes. Or at the bottom of wardrobes.

GreenlandTheMovie · 01/12/2020 14:01

Most people seem to be coping by sticking their heads in the sand or by getting obsessed about the various leaders - the cult surrounding Sturgeon in Scotland, who has fully used this crisis to push for independence, is almost as worrying as the economic crisis. And Scotland wasn't great economically to start with.

The bigger problem is why our country keeps getting such awful, incompetent people in government who gives jobs to their cronies, and why there is no appetite for stopping this by legislating against it.

Ohalrightthen · 01/12/2020 14:03

Go to your GP and get a beta blocker prescription?

Cateau · 01/12/2020 14:04

Hikris

HeyDW96 · 01/12/2020 14:04

@Ohalrightthen to what? Lower your heart rate so much that you no longer have to live through this?

Gancanny · 01/12/2020 14:04

How do you cope? I can't concentrate. Everything seems so pointless. What can we do? There's no amount of preparation that would make a difference. We don't have enough room to stockpile even if we had the cash to do it. We rely on systems working. I'm so, so scared

I cope with uncertainty by being as prepared as I can be and by taking a watch and wait approach. If I get into a spiral of trying to plan for every eventuality and running through mental lists of all possible 'what if' scenarios then my anxiety gets out of control.

I have a sort of internal flowchart.

The first step for me is to take a step back and consider whether it is a Gancanny problem or not a Gancanny problem. If its not a Gancanny problem then I don't bother with it.

If it is a Gancanny problem then I consider a loose plan on how to deal with it based on what I think will be the most likely scenario and a back up plan on the second most likely scenario.

Stockpiling doesn't need to take reams of cash. An extra bag of pasta here, a tin of chopped tomatoes there, freezing some leftovers once or twice a week, picking up a BOGOF of a usual product and stashing the extra, etc. Storage could be as simple as a cardboard box in the corner of your bedroom or on top of the kitchen cabinets.

It also helps to be realistic. There will probably be shortages on the shelves but there won't be absolutely nothing. Look at the first lockdown for an example. The shelves were bare in places but the food did not entirely run out, some things had to be substituted or were temporarily unavailable (I needed flour and ended up making some from ground cous cous) but there was still food available.

Original poster
Newkitty · 01/12/2020 14:05

When I think back to how the MN boards were obsessed with coronavirus in January, I can't believe that nobody seems to be worried about Brexit. Or even planning for it. It's going to be so much worse than Covid.

OP posts:
Cateau · 01/12/2020 14:06

Hi a well you

Original poster
Newkitty · 01/12/2020 14:07

@Ohalrightthen I'm already on anti depressants! Was meant to come off earlier this year but .... !

OP posts:
liveitwell · 01/12/2020 14:08

I think your anxiety is at a problem level.

Incompletely understand the feeling of being overwhelmed but...

  1. our school system is hardly crumbling. Most kids get an excellent education in the UK compared to most other countries.

  2. the fact that there are foodbanks is a positive sign. In a lot of countries there's no foodbanks but that doesn't mean people are eating adequately. Plenty of people in the UK are still overeating.

  3. We have a welfare system. Yes it's not great but also it could be worse. If the shit hits the fan, you won't be left with absolutely nothing.

  4. our healthcare system isn't crumbling. Yes it could be better funded in some areas but we have really great access to healthcare compared to most.

Please stop reading the news. Find a hobby you enjoy and focus on that.

stampsurprise · 01/12/2020 14:09

@Ohalrightthen

Go to your GP and get a beta blocker prescription?
For those of us on medication, supplies of tablets are yet another worry.
CorianderQueen · 01/12/2020 14:11

It hasn't happened yet so you need to calm down - you're catastrophising.

You need to take a breather and chill. Im not happy about Brexit but I'm not panicking. I'm not panicking because we can't stop it happening. Tighten your belt to get a little money behind you if possible. Chuck an extra couple of items in your shopping when you go and store them under the bed.

Mostly, breathe. It is what it is. Having a breakdown will cause you far more damage than calmly ploughing through the months ahead.

2bazookas · 01/12/2020 14:14

We survived a far worse economic mess in the 1940s and again in the 1970's. Put your big girl pants on.

Hayeahnobut · 01/12/2020 14:14

@liveitwell I'd suggest that you do read the news, your post stinks of 'I'm alright Jack'.

Mamamia456 · 01/12/2020 14:19

I think you need to put this in perspective OP. If we were on the brink of war or about to be invaded by aliens, that would be terrifying. Yes we are definitely in uncertain and difficult times, but nothing is forever, we have as a country survived bad recessions in the past. Even if the worst happened and we left with a no deal in January, that situation would be unsustainable for us as well as the EU, so we would still do a deal at some point in the near future.

Original poster
Newkitty · 01/12/2020 14:22

I know I'm catastrophising. It's useful to read how other people cope, thank you. I feel like I'm on the brink of a panic attack all the time, unless I distract myself. But I can never stay distracted for long.

OP posts:
KatieGGGG · 01/12/2020 14:25

“2) the fact that there are foodbanks is a positive sign”

Boris is that you?

Mamamia456 · 01/12/2020 14:27

New Kitty - Go to your GP and maybe ask for counselling because in the nicest possible way what you are experiencing is extreme and not good for your health. Be kind to yourself and stay away from the news and do things that you enjoy.

cushioncovers · 01/12/2020 14:29

I cope by knowing that the world will still turn. It might be a rocky ride for a while but for every thing that goes wrong something else will go right. Try not to dwell on all the negatives. There's too much money to be made for businesses not to diversify and find a way around any problems that occur with COVID and Brexit. People are more resilient and resourceful than we give each credit for.

I think for some of us this is the first time we've ever experienced a major change in our quality of life, our freedoms and ability to do what we want when we want so we think it's going to be cataclysmic but I do believe we will work our way through this ok.

Mamamia456 · 01/12/2020 14:31

Cushioncovers - Good Post.

gingerbreadfox · 01/12/2020 14:35

Firstly, it's ok for you to feel like this. It's been a tough year and you are not alone.

Secondly, focus on the good things. Just because the media doesn't focus on the good things doesn't mean they don't exist. (One of my favourite quotes: 'love is quieter than gun shots but there's more of it'.)

The world is going through a rough patch but there is still good in in it and we will come out of this. Don't lose faith.

TheRealMrsJamieFraser · 01/12/2020 14:38

@GreenlandTheMovie

Most people seem to be coping by sticking their heads in the sand or by getting obsessed about the various leaders - the cult surrounding Sturgeon in Scotland, who has fully used this crisis to push for independence, is almost as worrying as the economic crisis. And Scotland wasn't great economically to start with.

The bigger problem is why our country keeps getting such awful, incompetent people in government who gives jobs to their cronies, and why there is no appetite for stopping this by legislating against it.

I'm trying not laugh at "cult surrounding Sturgeon in Scotland" and the irony in your following paragraph re awful, incompetent people in government - regardless of your opinion on Scottish independence she has proved herself to be the better alternative to Boris and his cronies.

Give your head a wobble eh

BadBear · 01/12/2020 14:42

My family and I survived an economic crisis in a different country which barely had a working infrastructure.

It wasn't pretty but the world will keep turning. I know it doesn't always help with anxiety and during those moments when you're filled with dread. But it's exactly what @cushioncovers said 'People are more resilient and resourceful than we give each credit for.'

It won't necessarily be a ride in the park but it won't help to give up either. I keep thinking that if I do the best I possibly can do to support myself, my family and others around me that need help then others will hopefully look out for me during difficult times.

LadyFeliciaMontague · 01/12/2020 14:43

@Newkitty

When I think back to how the MN boards were obsessed with coronavirus in January, I can't believe that nobody seems to be worried about Brexit. Or even planning for it. It's going to be so much worse than Covid.
Lots of people were planning.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eu_referendum_2016_

I think it may be worth having another chat with your GP if you are this scared, I do suffer anxiety -it’s shit- but I’m pretty calm right now so maybe a tweak in your medication would help you cope a little better with it all. I hope things improve for you soon Flowers

contrmary · 01/12/2020 14:50

The first thing is to try not to worry about things you can't change. You can't have a direct impact on what the government does, or how the virus behaves, or how flexible the EU are willing to be.

Secondly, try to keep things in perspective. Sure, we are currently dealing with a health emergency the like of which been seen for a century, and together with Brexit has created economic uncertainty. But, we're more fortunate than many previous generations that have been decimated by war for example.

Things will get better, they always do. If you think of the catastrophes of the first half of the last century: WWI, Spanish flu, the Wall Street Crash and the mass unemployment of the 1930s, the German killing machine of WWII - despite all these disasters, by the 60s or 70s things were pretty much recovered. All we need to do is be patient - by 2050 coronavirus and Brexit will be a hazy memory, reflected on in the same "what the hell was that about" way we reflect on the IRA terrorism campaign now.