Not letting my ds go on Zoom until he's done his homework

[TrixieHeliotrope]

My ds has maths homework that's due in tomorrow, and I tried to get him to do it over the weekend but He wouldn't even do it when I took away his xbox so he couldn't play fortnite, and now he wants to have a zoom call with his friend who's self-isolating. I've told him that he can't do it unless he's finished his homework. Am I being unreasonable?

I'm surprised you're even asking.

Of course you're not being unreasonable.

No. Make it do his homework, then socialise. How old is he?

He wouldn't even do it when I took away his xbox so he couldn't play fortnite
It seems you have a problem disciplining your son. Why are you letting him get away with refusing to do as he is told?

@alexandernevermind he's ten.

@KarenMarow3 me and my dh have tried everything. We can't think of anything else, have you got any suggestions?

No screens until after homework, non negotiable.

I think it needs to be a period of time without the xbox.

My eldest is ten. He does his homework as soon as he gets home plus practises his spellings and reads his book. No screens until it’s all done.

Sit him at the kitchen table. He doesnt move until it's done unless for the bathroom or for drinks.

Totally reasonable. Why would he think not?

No way should a 10 year old be refusing to do what his parents have told him to do. How come he's got away with not doing his homework all weekend? Has he been playing computer games, watching TV and doing all the things he likes to do over the weekend? If so then simple, stop all privalages until its done. Tell him that he is doing his homework don't ask him to do it and tell him that until it's done there will be zooming or anything else. Make him see you're the adult and he's the child who will do as he's asked. Sit with him until it's done if you need to. Just be firm and tell him what you expect, he'll soon realise he has to do it. He must learn now while he's 10 that homework has to be done because as he grows in to a teenager it will get a lot harder if he refuses. My son was hard work and I had many battles with him, but I was firm with him. He is nearly 18 now and he's a lovely young man. He's training to be a plumber now so it was worth all the battles. Good luck,

I found with my DD2 that she often 'refused' to do homework when in fact she was overwhelmed by it / felt she couldn't do it.
Could that be the case here?

I think by the time the child is ten, behavioural patterns are fairly well-established and you might have to do something more drastic/different to get his attention. I don’t mean physical or anything. But something like, “Look, we don’t have this conversation again. You do your homework or the X box gets it.”

And follow through.

Exactly what 79Beastie said. You are the parents.

@79Beastie Thanks for the advice, I'll try that.

@flaviaritt that might work - he does love that xbox.

He will need a better routine in high school. My year 8 does his homework as soon as he gets in before he does anything elose, it's usually 1 or 2 pieces a night (sometimes gets lucky and has none) If there's any left over at the end of the week he does it on Sunday. If a piece isn't handed in on time he would get a negative and once they get so many they get a detention, any more an isolation and so on. It's a great incentive and he has never handed it in late.