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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can't take this anymore

4 replies

Sunshineandalltherainbows · 30/11/2020 05:49

I've been married to my husband for nearly 6 years, been together 11 years and we have two children together. Our eldest has autism and life can be stressful and challenging.
Im pretty certain my husband has depression I've tried to speak to him about it numerous times but he gets very angry when I do and says nothing is wrong so he doesn't need to get help.
His moods are so up and down we don't know what day we're going to get I feel like we're all walking on eggshells and Im sure this is affecting both our children's behaviour. It's certainly having an awful impact on me.
So I snapped yesterday and said I was sick and tired of it he's basically ruined the weekend and I can't keep on like this anymore. He then became really vile which he does when we argue. Says I'm mental like my mum (who has been sectioned in the past). Looked up things from when I was 18 on Facebook and said I was a massive slag because he saw I went swimming in the sea after a night out (this was such a very long time ago before we were together). Will just always purposefully try and hit a low blow and I'm left thinking this just is too much for me now.
I feel bad for him that he is likely depressed but if he won't talk about it and refuses to get help I'm left thinking I can't stay in this marriage the way it is.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 30/11/2020 05:52

Being depressed doesn't mean he can be nasty to you. Some of those things he said were pretty horrible. He's meant to love you. Can you take some steps towards ending the relationship?

AlicebytheSea · 30/11/2020 06:58

Depression isn't a get out clause for being vile. Does he feel bad for you that you've got to this low point and he's verbally abusive? Thought not.Who the hell trawls FB for ammunition and dredges up whatever hurtful stuff he can about your family? That is the lowest of the low.

Save your compassion as he doesnt have any for you. What is your situation? Are you reliant on him? I'd be trying to take small steps to plan my exit.

AlwaysCheddar · 30/11/2020 07:24

Make an escape plan.

Sunshineandalltherainbows · 30/11/2020 13:09

I work full time as a teacher I'm quite high up the pay scale now so although I don't earn loads I earn an OK amount. I have savings in my name which I will continue to do. Just feel so upset and don't want to carry on living my life like this.

OP posts:
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