Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU about my 3yo’s activity?

18 replies

Winterblunderland · 29/11/2020 23:44

DS (3) does an activity. It is run from a small rented hall. The standard practice is for parents to drop off the child, and return at the end of the session to collect. I have sat in on one of the classes (the taster session, I sat at the side in a mask) so was able to observe how the lessons worked. DS had a great time and wanted to continue attending.

However, and here’s my AIBU.....AIBU to think this isn’t entirely safe? The building, I assume due to Covid, has ALL the doors and windows wide open all the time. The room DS is in is opposite an open door - there is the room with the door open, a tiny lobby area, then another open door to outside. There are two members of staff in the session, but as one is often engaged with taking the little ones to the toilet, for much of the lesson there is just one. At one point when I was there, one staff member was away to the loo with a child - and the other member of staff was bent over looking for something in her bag, her attention on that, while the children (all 3 and 4) were milling about getting changed.

I just feel that if one of the kids had slipped away, she wouldn’t necessarily have noticed. The street is just round the corner - there are no further doors or gates once you leave the building. When you think how safe school and nursery buildings are, it just seems so odd.

The next time DC attended I stood outside the building and read my Kindle, but I could tell they were a bit puzzled as to why I didn’t just go. Literally every other parent dropped off and left. So maybe I am being bonkers! But does this seem safe? I am a bit of a worrier, but my kids attend other nursery/school/other activities without me - it’s literally just the way the doors are wide open in this scenario that’s bothering me. I feel that the room’s windows being open would be adequate to ensure good ventilation, and that the external doors should be shut. AIBU?

OP posts:
flaviaritt · 29/11/2020 23:53

There isn’t a chance my 3 year old would be attending an informal activity of this sort without me. Nurseries are secure environments. This sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

BadMom82 · 29/11/2020 23:56

Yeah, no.

At the best least they need one of those baby gates that's pressure fitted to at least slow them down. I wouldn't leave my 3 yo there.

Pinkflipflop85 · 29/11/2020 23:56

I'm pretty laid back but this would ring alarm bells for me.

Winterblunderland · 30/11/2020 07:15

Thanks for the replies. I’ve never left him there as he only attended the two sessions before this lockdown (the one I stayed for and the one where I lurked about outside with the open door in view!) but I’m glad I don’t sound like I’m overreacting.

The activity is also run at other times from other venues where I’d be happy to leave as I know the buildings (one of them is somewhere my other DC has attended parties and it’s in a building with a receptionist always on duty, much more secure) but the one we’ve attended so far is the only one held at a time convenient to us.

DS loved the activity so I’ll contact the staff this week and ask why the doors need to be left open.

OP posts:
angelopal · 30/11/2020 07:20

The doors will need to be left open for ventilation. DD has worn a cardigan at school for the first time as she gets cold with the windows in open. She does an activity in in a hall at the weekend and the door is open. They are slightly older so will not run off.

I would raise your concerns. Do they have open doors in the risk assessment?

flaviaritt · 30/11/2020 07:31

Do they have open doors in the risk assessment?

Does it matter? It’s an unacceptable risk with a gang of 3 year olds.

Winterblunderland · 30/11/2020 07:35

@angelopal I’m really not sure, we’ve only been twice - but I’ll find out. I do understand the need for a decent amount of fresh air but all the large windows were wide open in the room when I was there, which I would have thought was enough. But perhaps they had to agree to open doors as a condition of their using the hall.

I think my discomfort comes from the perfect storm of one member of staff being regularly absent with toilet trips, the children being very little, and a clear route from the room to the outside with no further doors or gates beyond. DS is only 3.5 so still very little and whilst he’s a very sensible boy I don’t know if I trust him from having a sneaky peek outside - he was a bolter when he was younger. I believe some older children are in the building at the same time, in a room further away from the open doors. There’s not even a bench to sit on outside or anything so no natural places for parents to wait - that’s why I looked a bit odd standing outside that time!

OP posts:
Lolalovesmarmite · 30/11/2020 07:36

I would not leave a three year old there. Absolutely not.

flaviaritt · 30/11/2020 07:37

Worst case scenario is that (of course) a child runs into the road, or wanders off and otherwise comes to harm. This is a realistic outcome given this set up and therefore it doesn’t really matter what is in the risk assessment: they’re not covering the risks.

BogRollBOGOF · 30/11/2020 07:41

It may be a condition of the venue's hire risk assessment.

In terms of child safeguarding though, secured boundaries to prevent children leaving orstrangers entering is a more important risk to manage than the Covid risk where the windows are already opened without risk of danger to the children.

Last year when a football club started up in the park outside our Guiding venue, we were regularly interupted by football families demanding to use our venue's toilet (and not bother traipsing 100m further to the public leisure centre). Even though our children are older, it is still essential to know who is in and out of the building. We could have parents turning up early slipping children out (had issues with that one while meeting on the park this autumn), children wondering off, public abusing the facilities and leaving us liable and worst case although unlikely the possibility of harm to a child that is difficult to account for.

JillofTrades · 30/11/2020 07:44

I've never heard of activities where parents drop and run for 3yo. My ds did quite a few at that age and we were always required to stay.
That sounds like a big NO to me.

SnuggyBuggy · 30/11/2020 07:45

I wouldn't be comfortable with this and I'm usually the first to say children are ridiculously over protected. I agree with the suggestion of some sort of toddler gate over the open doors.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/11/2020 07:48

When my dc were that age I was flabbergasted with the difference between how safe proper nurseries had to be with their double locks, ratios, gates etc and the safety at the more as hoc holiday clubs or activities. I experienced the same as you, open gates to main roads etc. It's one of the reasons I became a sahm, I just didn't find the holiday clubs for 3/4/5 yr olds acceptable.

AnnaSW1 · 30/11/2020 07:54

I would be having none of that!

MisiSam · 30/11/2020 07:57

I wouldn't be comfortable with that either, my ds 18 months started a football club just before lockdown 2.0 we have only done 1 session and all parents stayed, all doors open and everytime I wasn't holding onto my son he bolted for the open door straight outside into the car park, its run by 2 lovley men but one not much older than a teenager I'm glad we don't have to leave them.

ILikeStrongTea · 30/11/2020 08:06

I wouldn’t leave my DS if I knew there was a chance he could run out. I wonder if they’ve misinterpreted guidelines and have decided to open all the doors. It has to be safe for the children and currently it isn’t. Covid doesn’t outweigh preventing small children from running out of the building. Who runs it? Surely there are regulations about all doors being locked after all the children are in?

DumplingsAndStew · 30/11/2020 08:16

I wouldn't be comfortable leaving a 3 year old at an activity with only two adults anyway. What are the ratios?

Can you offer to volunteer? You'd need a disclosure certificate, but they might be glad for an extra pair of hands.

User56770987 · 30/11/2020 10:00

My 3 Yr old would have been out that door in the blink of any eye. I just would end this activity.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page