To hate being told I'm getting old?

[WearyWorldRejoices]

I am the eldest of my siblings and my entire life whenever my age or birthday is brought up it is always in the context of people being shocked at how old I am. I have always found it quite hurtful and frustrating as I always have been made to act/be older than I actually am.

I remember being told at 4 I was too old to cry because I didn't want to go to nursery, at 8 I was too old to play with toys and so it goes on. Meanwhile my younger siblings have been able to embrace the age they are at.

I'm now in my mid 20s and I have a birthday coming up in December and the conversations have started - "I can't believe you're going to be X years old, wow you're getting old!" and then making comparisons "at that age I was married, had two children and owned a house".

I hate it and think it's so rude to tell someone that they are getting old. I never enjoy my birthday as I get these kinds of comments all the time from family and it just makes me feel really down.

Also as a disclaimer I know I'm not old, I am grateful for every birthday and every year of life I have. It's just the insuinations that I am so old, every single birthday brings me down. I remember at 10 crying because my family made such a fuss that I was double digits and was now SO OLD and grown up when I was still a child.

Tell them to piss off and stop being ridiculous. Mid 20's is not old in anyone's books.

I remember at 10 crying because my family made such a fuss that I was double digits

And I'm sorry but this is ridiculous it's completely normal and the first of the milestone birthdays, I strongly suggest you thicken your skin up a bit or else you're going to waste your youth with this nonsense. You'll regret it when you are actually^ old.

They are making a fuss of you in their way. Your distinguishing feature age-wise is that you are the oldest. None of the other siblings will ever have that. There is something about your children reaching certain milestones and ages that make the parents reflect upon the length of time they have been parenting. That will always be measured by your age and never your siblings. My mum used to write in my birthday cards how old that made her feel every year. It matters with the oldest child, the rest just follow on. They are celebrating your years and their/your achievement of getting you there. The second, third, fourth born will never be the first, they will never make parents or grandparents reflect on their own age in the same way.

You can just explain how it makes you feel. It sounds like they are trying to make you feel special and grown up, it’s something a lot of us do for our oldest one(s) especially when we get them apart from the youngest one(s).

I sympathize - I absolutely HAAAAAAATE my birthday and especially so-called 'milestone birthdays' and nowadays refuse to let anyone acknowledge my birthday, or if possible know when it is, for just this reason! With your siblings, it may, however, be that they envy you for having higher 'status' by being older- and perhaps you are also a bit jealous of them for the privileges of being younger.

I think that adults often use the 'you're too old for X' argument out of an assumption that all children want to be older, and this will motivate them. For some children it's the opposite.

@Plonque

I remember at 10 crying because my family made such a fuss that I was double digits

And I'm sorry but this is ridiculous it's completely normal and the first of the milestone birthdays, I strongly suggest you thicken your skin up a bit or else you're going to waste your youth with this nonsense. You'll regret it when you are actually^ old.

I understand that point of view and I get it. However, I think in the wider context of my childhood that reaction was understandable from ten year old me. I had always been treated way older than I was and had responsibilities placed upon me that were not age-appropriate. I think that is why growing up was so upsetting to me. It meant even more of the things you would usually shield children from, such as all the gory details of illnesses and mental illnesses, would be revealed to me at way too young an age.

It was not so much growing up but the fact everyone was stressing how OLD I was as if I was an adult already. They treated me like an adult. I think it was when I was around 10 I had to comfort and try and distract my DF whilst he told me how suicidal he felt.

@ChanklyBore

They are making a fuss of you in their way. Your distinguishing feature age-wise is that you are the oldest. None of the other siblings will ever have that. There is something about your children reaching certain milestones and ages that make the parents reflect upon the length of time they have been parenting. That will always be measured by your age and never your siblings. My mum used to write in my birthday cards how old that made her feel every year. It matters with the oldest child, the rest just follow on. They are celebrating your years and their/your achievement of getting you there. The second, third, fourth born will never be the first, they will never make parents or grandparents reflect on their own age in the same way.

You can just explain how it makes you feel. It sounds like they are trying to make you feel special and grown up, it’s something a lot of us do for our oldest one(s) especially when we get them apart from the youngest one(s).

Yes, that is a good point. I guess I should stop taking it personally and think of it as them just commenting on the passage of time in general rather than about my age specifically.

@ddl1

I sympathize - I absolutely HAAAAAAATE my birthday and especially so-called 'milestone birthdays' and nowadays refuse to let anyone acknowledge my birthday, or if possible know when it is, for just this reason! With your siblings, it may, however, be that they envy you for having higher 'status' by being older- and perhaps you are also a bit jealous of them for the privileges of being younger.

I think that adults often use the 'you're too old for X' argument out of an assumption that all children want to be older, and this will motivate them. For some children it's the opposite.

Yes I try and let my birthday slip past quietly without making a fuss too. Luckily my birthday is quite close to Christmas so that's pretty easy to do!

Is this post a joke? What the hell are you going to do when you are actually old and people bring up your age

I think you are over reacting just a little, you are young fut and healthy, enjoy your life

Try being 53 like me, OP. wry smile Make the most of being young, I miss it like mad now. Not sure why some posters feel the need to be so rude to you, though.

*fit!

I remember at 10 crying because my family made such a fuss that I was double digits
And I'm sorry but this is ridiculous

The OP was 10 FFS. TEN! Did you never cry when you were 10, for reasons you might consider 'ridiculous' now?

Well it certainly explains a pattern of being over concerned about age

@feistyoneyouare

Try being 53 like me, OP. wry smile Make the most of being young, I miss it like mad now. Not sure why some posters feel the need to be so rude to you, though.

Start worrying when they have the fire extinguisher on hand for your birthday cake candles.

@feistyoneyouare

Try being 53 like me, OP. wry smile Make the most of being young, I miss it like mad now. Not sure why some posters feel the need to be so rude to you, though.

Ah, 53, the good old days, just after 9/11! We all have three ages:-

the one on our driving licence etc..
the one in our heads
and the worst one, the one on the mirror.

My favourite is the middle one, it rarely changes.