To ask how to be happy?

[breadbin123]

At the risk of sounding incredibly dramatic I don't think I've ever really been happy for any length of time. I spend so much of my life worried or anxious! Any tips? How do you stay happy?

It depends what you mean by happy and what external triggers there are...

If you're going something very traumatic: a life-threatening illness, a marriage breakdown for example, its entirely normal to not be happy.

I assume you mean "steady state" ie when your life is just ticking over?

If there's one thing above all else which I think supports happiness its accepting yourself as you are and not comparing yourself to others. It's much harder than it sounds but accepting that you are who you are meant to be and that you deserve happiness on that basis goes a very long way. But its not easy and takes a bit of work...

If you're struggling with the idea of happiness as a first principle, some therapy might help....

What’s making you unhappy? A lot of happiness/unhappiness is situational.

Did YOU do the things that are making you unhappy? Or is it others? Their reward is a collapsing population.

Accept we all go through difficult times. So none of what people post can 'make you happy' if you are going through really difficult times however I am a firm believer in looking for the happiness in the situation you are in.
Chasing a far off dream is never going to end in happiness - just envy.
Looking around the situation you are in, noticing all the good things, and counting your blessings will result in most people being a lot happier for most of the time.

Can I recommend this free course?
www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being
I found it really helpful in understanding and practicing being happier.

Finding enjoyment in the simplest things and living in the moment. Feeling the wind on your face reminds you you’re alive; hugging your children; the taste of good food; appreciating being with your loved ones; listening to cheerful music, dancing when no one’s watching . . . Whatever makes you feel good - find time to do more of it.

For me, it's the small things. Looking at the trees on my way to the train station, the pigeons I can see from my flat, my neighbour's cat going outside when it's sunny.

I actually learnt how to value these things over lockdown, when I had nothing else to do. I struggle with depression and it was either that, or months of feeling miserable.

I still felt like shit sometimes, but I made a habit of not going to bed before writing down 3 good things that had happened during the day. It was hard at first, some days I only had one or two, but it helped. Read the list after a week, and you'll see how many things in your life you can be happy about!

Do you like music? Stick some upbeat, lively songs on YouTube or look for a beautiful choir performing in a big church, sing along or start dancing or whatever you feel like doing. There is a lot of beauty to appreciate in this world.

Determination?
There will always be beautiful things to watch, kindness, music, simple pleasures.
There will always be illness, complications, and stress.

You can decide what to focus on, and then practice focussing on it. It gets easier with time. Look for the good things all the time. Accept the crap as part of the deal, but focus on the good.

Trees are beautiful and environmentally essential. They also shed leaves in winter, and gives birds somewhere to poop from, will you look at the fallen leaves and bird shit, or the majesty of the whole system?