AIBU to think people really don’t get it?

[youcantchoosethem]

I tested positive for COVID on Thursday and have had to isolate from my partner and two of my children and my two grandchildren. My third child is in my home but has tested negative so we have had to split the house in two. I can’t console him. I can’t hug him. He can’t go to school. I still have to feed him - he can’t cook for himself and that is a massive challenge. I have to wear full PPE. I’m using separate plates etc for him. I have to keep telling him to keep back and not to come near and feel so shitty having to keep him away and being harsh when he tries to come forward. I’m cleaning everything even spraying the air with an aerosol disinfectant after I have been in the transfer area we have set up. He can’t open his door whilst I’m on the landing. Everything has to go through the dishwasher at high heat - I can’t just rinse a spoon in case it is still contaminated. Obviously neither of us can go anywhere. I can’t hug my partner. I am asthmatic and have other underlying conditions - I had a mild stroke in September and had organ failure 8 years ago - so I am in constant fear of what happens next. At the moment it’s mild. But if it goes to my chest? I get chest infections every year. Is that the last time I will ever have seen my partner and my other two children? Given them a hug? Will my other son be ok locked in his couple of rooms? Can I keep him safe? He’s asthmatic too and has complex special needs. The mental side is so awful. I followed the rules too. Was fanatical about everything clean but I still got it. I don’t know how. But at the moment it’s just a mild case....

Oh my goodness. You poor thing. Please please make sure that you also rest as much as you can although I appreciate that is very difficult when caring for others.

Personally I would have sent my child to live with a close friend or relative temporarily.

How old is he?

How old is your youngest son? Can one if his siblings or your partner not care for him whilst you rest?

its really tough being ill when you have a dependant. I hope you have a mild case.

Sorry for what you’re going through.

It would make more sense for you to isolate in your room and your partner to do all the cooking. Is there a reason he can’t?

how old is your 3rd child who tested negative,.has asthma & special needs.
I suspect I would not have isolated him.

You poor thing OP. In all likelihood you'll be recovered soon and you'll be proud you were so careful with your family and you'll be hugging again. I imagine it'll be a long week though!

What’s your partner doing?

In This situation I wound weigh the risk of the situation and possibly not be so strict with my isolation. If it’s causing a distress to your son who you still live with and still need to care for.

It’s tough as my partner is vulnerable too - he is having to isolate too for two weeks. My youngest is 14 but reality is he’s younger. Because he has had close contact before I had symptoms and found out I was positive, he has to isolate too. It is likely he’ll end up positive but because he’s asthmatic as well I have to try to protect him as much as possible to give him the best chance. Yes the risks are lower for children but many still have died. I couldn’t live with myself if I put either at risk. If my partner or son had tested positive then in a way the decision would have been made and it would have been easier. Obviously if it does get worse for me, or I end up in hospital then we’ll have to think again. But it’s more to say that it isn’t easy. People say that most people are only mild and it isn’t a big thing but even when it’s mild, as it is for me at the moment, it’s still bloody hard and mentally really tough.

If it makes you feel any better, my whole house had covid. We have two under 4s so impossible to isolate. For us, the unknown was the worst really. We felt utterly exhausted while the children were bouncing off the walls and had the fear that it could get worse. Fortunately it was all mild. What will be will be but you do have to balance the emotional distress to your son versus the potential physical side effects. It feels a bit extreme if you’re wondering around in full ppe when you were most likely with him at your most infectious point prior testing. Do you have anxiety? I only ask because you seem very down and catastrophising. If so, Is there anyone you can ask for help?

I also found that my emotions were all over the place when I had it and my daughter who barely had any physical symptoms was a bit of a mess for a few days. Please be kind to yourself. I’ve spoken to a few other people who have said the same.

You're doing everything you can to try to prevent him catching it.

If you tested positive on Thursday I assume you had symptoms on Wednesday or before. That means you're on at least day 5 and therefore already halfway through all this. Hopefully your symptoms will stay mild and you and your son will be fine.

Look after yourself.

@Ratatcat that must have been so difficult with young ones. I don’t specifically have anxiety but having spent previously four months in hospital which included liver and kidney damage, nervous system shutdown and two cardiac arrests plus other issues, I do have a dread of how it could affect. It is exhausting - I’m getting so tired with it. My isolation is at least 10 days but my sons is 14 and of course if he develops symptoms then the counts start again so not sure at the moment how long we will be. I am certainly trying everything to keep him safe but it is highly possible that he did catch it before I had symptoms (and the same with my partner) - we just have to try our best. Just the addition of a very sore throat this morning but otherwise still mild. Taking one day at a time and hoping for the best.