MIL is annoying me.

[Flowers31]

AIBU to be annoyed at my MIL. We're currently living with her me and DH and my baby due to our house being renovated. I appreciate she is doing us a favour however, she is starting to patronise me.

She's constantly interfering in our house renovation. Every time I purchase something for my new house she has to make a remark. Whenever I buy my baby something she has to have an opinion critising what I have got. She is even trying to control my baby, tries to choose what he wears and were we take him.

She's completely taking over our lives and I don't know how to tell her to back off. Her mother is terminally ill so she is very emotionally vulnerable so I don't want to upset her. I'm just fed up, she has to make a remark about everything. Dh feels like he can't say anything as she is doing us a favour so is biting his tongue. We're trying to get out house ready as quick as we can. I'm going insane, I don't know how to tell her politely that she is being too controlling. HELP.

You should move out straight away.
HTH

Just day to her “ I’m really sorry you don’t seem to like anything I buy or do” then start crying. Play her at her own game

Just tell her to stop. Presumably you’re paying her to stay there? So tell her it’s not her baby/house/decisión.

You just need to say “ ok, thanks, but we’re doing xyz”.

Don’t they all! Nah jokes, you’re living in her house, her mother is dying, give her some slack. Make the move happen quicker if she’s pissing you off that much

Yes we're paying rent. Everything we buy is with our own money but she still interferes

Don't say anything and just grim and bare it, its not forever

I don't mean to sound rude, it's just really affecting me. I had a baby 6 months ago, I suffered from postnatal depression. The fact that I'm spending maternity leave like this is really upsetting me.

We're trying our best to get out so we can celebrate Christmas in our new house.

Her mother is terminally ill so she is very emotionally vulnerable so I don't want to upset her

I don't mean this to sound crass but how terminally ill? Are we talking days, weeks, months, over a year, several years? Because this could be potentially a long time for you never ever to say 'Thanks MIL but we are happy with our choice and are doing it this way'

You do still have the right to have a personality and make decisions, I'm sure you are polite about it.

Smile, agree, then do what you want to.

Move back to your own house and be irritated by the builders instead.

@katy1213 how do you propose I live in a house that isn't ready to move into with a 6 month old baby?.

It’s odd that your DH isn’t able to resolve conflict with his mum without needing to move out entirely. In the meantime, any critique gets answered with “Ah well, trends change over time,” a smile and you walking away to do precisely what you intended to do in the first place. Set up WhatsApp with some friends and show them your new purchases, outfits for the baby etc so you get the support you want.

I’d also avoid giving her information, and if she asks why you don’t share so much anymore, that’s a great way to start a calm conversation.

@Flowers31

I hope your in for Christmas.It's less than 4 weeks away;just concentrate on the that.It'll fly by in no time.

My late mother in law had an opinion on everything I did;she use to be a pain and use the spare key that was given to PIL's to let herself in.I use to sometimes get home from school runs/playgroup/shopping to find her happily sat on my sofa with a cuppa she'd made herself.The woman had no boundaries.

Whatever you do,do not give the woman a spare key and you must set clear boundaries otherwise she'll continue to try to bulldoze her way through your life.

@popsydoodle4444 thankfully we are moving to the opposite side of town so she won't be able to pop in much.

[quote Flowers31]@katy1213 how do you propose I live in a house that isn't ready to move into with a 6 month old baby?.[/quote]
Get them to concentrate on the kitchen, bathroom, electrics and your bedroom first, them move in and let them work around you. I did it when DC1 was three months old.