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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel sorry for myself

9 replies

Malteserlover50 · 28/11/2020 08:45

Im going through a shit time just now and I’m feeling so sorry for myself even though everything will seem trivial and there are people out there who have worse problems than me, but, I can’t help it.

2 months ago, I was diagnosed as having a tumour like thing in my ear which will need to be surgically removed. When it’s removed, I may be deaf and may need to have at least one other operation to reconstruct the inside of my ear.
I’ve been back & forth to the dentist for teeth & jaw pain and he keeps telling me my teeth are fine, so this pain might be coming from my ear.

My neck hurts me, again on the same side of my ear so I don’t know if it’s coming from that or it’s something else.

I hurt my calf and my knees. I don’t know what I did, but I couldn’t take myself for my long walks which is something I like to do when I’m feeling stressed, and the weather has been shit anyway.

I went into the kitchen the other day, noticed there was water on the middle of the floor, looked up to the ceiling, yip there’s a leak from the bathroom. Turns out the water from the shower has been leaking through the seal round the bath. It’s quite bad, the plumber who was out yesterday said he doesn’t do those types of jobs. DH will be able to fix it but he is working away just now and won’t be home for a couple of weeks. It’s only the kids who use that shower/bath as we have an ensuite, so we aren’t stuck that way.

I’ve noticed my bannister is starting to come away from the wall, it will be the kids swinging on it but of course they deny all knowledge. So that’s a job that needs fixing.

My car needs to new brakes.

My little dog isn’t well, and is back & forth to the vets and I’m so worried about her. I think it’s old age, but she is my little companion.

I’m not sleeping or eating very well since my diagnoses for my ear so I’ve put on about a stone in the last 2 months, and to top it all, I woke up during the night with toothache on my other side (not bad ear side), although not too bad, I will worry about it because I’m just so fed up having pain on my ears/face/neck on the other side. My dentist will be sick of the sight of me, but I feel really bad and embarrassed phoning them about it.

I can’t talk to my husband about it all as the reception is shit where he is and it don’t want to be a negative Nancy. I haven’t seen my 2 best friends for months (one lives too far away from me and due to new Covid restrictions we are not allowed to drive into each other’s areas), my other friend has her own worries about stuff so don’t want to load mine onto her.
I tried to talk to my sister so I started to tell her about my ear and she just said “its just your ear, you will be fine” so I didn’t tell her anything else.

As I said I know all this is trivial but it’s all just happening at once and I just feel so shit and rubbish, and want to lie in my bed and not get up, but, I put on a brave face for my kids 😢

OP posts:
IMNOTSHOUTING · 28/11/2020 09:08

Oh OP it sounds like you've got absolutely loads on your plate. No wonder you're feeling rubbish. Your sister sounds incredibly unsupportive. If you were my friend/sister/neighbour and I knew what was going on I'd be sending you flowers and chocolates.

Comtesse · 28/11/2020 09:20

Not trivial, lots of things going on, some of which are pretty intense, plus being in pain is exhausting. I hope you can have a low key, relaxing weekend - you deserve it Flowers. And your sister is kind of mean - who cares what she thinks?

CoRhona · 28/11/2020 09:54

Get your brakes sorted as a priority.

Buy some sealant for the bath (you can buy small tubes that don't need the gun thing)

Hope your dog is ok and your physical pain subsides Flowers

carcarbinks · 28/11/2020 09:59

It sounds like you are having a horrible time Flowers. Don't feel bad about troubling people with your worries - people should be supporting you. Hope you have a better day today.

Livelovebehappy · 28/11/2020 10:00

Probably it’s just the weight of everything on your mind all at once. I get anxious if too much is going on as it feels like the hill is insurmountable. Try to focus on one thing at a time. Make a list and tick off once done, if you can see the list going down it will make you feel better. And dont be hard on yourself - it’s okay to get down about stuff.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 28/11/2020 10:05

Your sister is a dismissive cow.
You can fix the sealant - get a tube of anti-mould sealant from B&Q and a Stanley knife. Cut all of the old sealant away with the knife and wipe the whole area with white vinegar. Let the area dry out - have you got a dehumidifier you could plug in nearby? When that's done, squeeze the new sealant around. I usually go round the bead with the end of a teaspoon handle to flatten it and make it neat.
Sorry you feel crap, OP. Ear pain is worse than anything cos it's harder to ignore in your head.

Malteserlover50 · 28/11/2020 11:02

Thank you everyone. To be fair on my friends, I haven’t told them all of this.

I’m not telling my sister anything else, she has always been like this I only told her as she had phoned me for something and I blurted out about my ear.

Brakes are getting fixed next week.

OP posts:
user17425642134531 · 28/11/2020 11:06

Good grief, yes, you deserve compassion and sympathy from yourself! That's a lot for one person to be trying to cope with all at once on her own. Flowers

josbd · 28/11/2020 13:45

What everyone else has said, plus:

Your friend with her own troubles? Tell her. When you have lots of issues it is a blessed relief at times to be able to worry about someone else's.

Your sister is a beast. Are you SURE you are related??-

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