Im going through a shit time just now and I’m feeling so sorry for myself even though everything will seem trivial and there are people out there who have worse problems than me, but, I can’t help it.
2 months ago, I was diagnosed as having a tumour like thing in my ear which will need to be surgically removed. When it’s removed, I may be deaf and may need to have at least one other operation to reconstruct the inside of my ear.
I’ve been back & forth to the dentist for teeth & jaw pain and he keeps telling me my teeth are fine, so this pain might be coming from my ear.
My neck hurts me, again on the same side of my ear so I don’t know if it’s coming from that or it’s something else.
I hurt my calf and my knees. I don’t know what I did, but I couldn’t take myself for my long walks which is something I like to do when I’m feeling stressed, and the weather has been shit anyway.
I went into the kitchen the other day, noticed there was water on the middle of the floor, looked up to the ceiling, yip there’s a leak from the bathroom. Turns out the water from the shower has been leaking through the seal round the bath. It’s quite bad, the plumber who was out yesterday said he doesn’t do those types of jobs. DH will be able to fix it but he is working away just now and won’t be home for a couple of weeks. It’s only the kids who use that shower/bath as we have an ensuite, so we aren’t stuck that way.
I’ve noticed my bannister is starting to come away from the wall, it will be the kids swinging on it but of course they deny all knowledge. So that’s a job that needs fixing.
My car needs to new brakes.
My little dog isn’t well, and is back & forth to the vets and I’m so worried about her. I think it’s old age, but she is my little companion.
I’m not sleeping or eating very well since my diagnoses for my ear so I’ve put on about a stone in the last 2 months, and to top it all, I woke up during the night with toothache on my other side (not bad ear side), although not too bad, I will worry about it because I’m just so fed up having pain on my ears/face/neck on the other side. My dentist will be sick of the sight of me, but I feel really bad and embarrassed phoning them about it.
I can’t talk to my husband about it all as the reception is shit where he is and it don’t want to be a negative Nancy. I haven’t seen my 2 best friends for months (one lives too far away from me and due to new Covid restrictions we are not allowed to drive into each other’s areas), my other friend has her own worries about stuff so don’t want to load mine onto her.
I tried to talk to my sister so I started to tell her about my ear and she just said “its just your ear, you will be fine” so I didn’t tell her anything else.
As I said I know all this is trivial but it’s all just happening at once and I just feel so shit and rubbish, and want to lie in my bed and not get up, but, I put on a brave face for my kids 😢