To want to be religious?

[PolarBearStrength]

I really like the idea of going to church. I find churches really peaceful and special, and am increasingly drawn to them although I think that’s more to do with nice architecture! I like the sense of community you get around a church. I’m quite community spirited and like the idea of getting involved in something. I also like having a good sing! However... I don’t particularly believe in god. I’d say at most, I’m agnostic. Vaguely spiritual but with no real belief in the bible, heaven, or anything like that.

If I lived in a city I would definitely look at attending a humanist or Unitarian type church but we’re pretty rural so it’s CofE or nothing unless you travel. Would it be totally hypocritical to attend church? Have I just gone slightly mad because of lockdown?

You can visit a church to sit and ontemplate or tour the famous fancy ones regardelss of faith or no faith.

Maybe quakerism is for you for that community feel?

I am atheist. I have zero belief in any deity. I also love churches. Wherever we go on holiday I always visit a couple. I also feel drawn to them. Here are my observations.

They’re usually dimly lit and quiet, that’s immediately going to put you at ease. The architecture is usually visually pleasing. The air is scented with incense and I believe that the energy in churches is high because people who go and worship tend to be on a very positive energy plane. All together that makes for a very pleasing environment.

I love them but don’t feel the need to be part of the worship.

I'm sure you would be welcomed and encouraged in whatever way your personal spirituality manifests itself.

Assuming you are in England (with the CofE reference), just look for the time of a service in your nearest church when it reopens after lockdown, and go.
It is not church as we know it at he moment with everyone masked, sitting two metres apart and not allowed to sing or mingle socially. But it does offer that peace and sense of community.
Everyone is welcome in church, and everyone has their own reasons for being there.

Why not have a browse of some online ones and see if you feel a connection. It's not the same as real life, but you get to be annonomous while you think about it. It's a great time to try as you can always leave if you don't like it.

@Jaxxi DH’s family have Quaker ties. I do like it, but find the silence a little bit intense!

@LongPauseNoAnswer I think you’ve hit the nail on the head.

PolarBearStrength you will be welcomed. You may find if you tunr into the words you begin to explore faith. Faith is amazing, we all love by faith anyway, no real certainties and even believes have doubts

Live by faith.

I go to Church weekly and there are several non believers in my congregation and I suspect more who aren't open about it! We welcome anyone and you don't have to be a believer to attend Church. My Church is very relaxed - my SEN daughter (pre Covid) would often lie down in random places.

I count myself as humanist and few much the same as you OP. I’ve always been fascinated and drawn to churches and their communities since I was very small but I can’t believe the same things as them. I reach a compromise by being involved in the community aspect (eg fundraising and events) but not actively worshiping on a Sunday. Sometimes I do like to sit in our village church for some peace and quiet and personal reflection because it’s a magnificent building where I feel comfortable and inspired. Because I’m not claiming to be something I’m not, I don’t feel hypocritical at all and I know our vicar would rather people get involved with the community regardless of faith, than not at all.

Does it have to be Christianity? have you thought about exploring what other faiths have to offer? I love religious buildings and find all aspects of religion fascinating. I find it very uplifting to visit churches, temples, mosques, even as a visitor it is always a very positive activity for me - to see other people involved in their their community and in worship. Reading that makes it sound like I use other peoples faith as some kind of entertainment - I don't - I am genuinely interested and respectful.

I think that perhaps you might find Buddhism offers you many of the things you might be searching for?

No, it wouldn't be hypocritical to go to churches and not believe. As long as if you visit during their meetings you don't mind that they are getting on with what they do then there is generally no problem (but I don't know what your local places of worship are like). If you go expecting to make use of their building and complain about them using it themselves and having to hear\see what they are doing or even become disruptive to them then that would be different, but I get the impression you wouldn't be like that.

You never know, there could be unexpected nice consequences of going too e.g. you might meet some people who you get on well with or become friends with etc.

We've become more logical because science has explained so much, but we haven't as a society found an effective way to funnel all the socialising that churches provided into another positive way of interacting. Coming from a very religious family where we went a minimum of twice a week, plus had singing events, I miss the connections and the ready-made community that offered real support when things went really wrong or really well. I haven't found any other setting that can compare to faith communities.

I feel comfortable in church, like I'm with my tribe (lovely female vicar helps). For me it's not about details of specific doctrine.

@LongPauseNoAnswer

I am atheist. I have zero belief in any deity. I also love churches. Wherever we go on holiday I always visit a couple. I also feel drawn to them. Here are my observations.

They’re usually dimly lit and quiet, that’s immediately going to put you at ease. The architecture is usually visually pleasing. The air is scented with incense and I believe that the energy in churches is high because people who go and worship tend to be on a very positive energy plane. All together that makes for a very pleasing environment.

I love them but don’t feel the need to be part of the worship.

This is exactly how i feel , other than i do have some beliefs, i l also find lighting a candle and remembering my lost loved ones very comforting. I find myself zoning out if i do ever listen to a sermon as i think a lot of vicars just love the sound of their own voice , and if the sermon is in the slightest bit happy clappy it just makes me cringe , but i do really love an old church /cathedral

I am Quaker and agnostic. (I don’t however believe in positive energy planes ). DH is just agnostic.
We quite often go to our local C of E church. They know what we’re about and are fine with it - they like us being there. And we like it too. It’s a good sense of community and a way of making regular space in life for contemplation and spirituality. We don’t feel hypocritical because we aren’t lying at all, or pretending anything, we are quite open.