If I ignored him?

[cotingidae]

I'm new here but need advice
I'm 16 and I'm due in a couple of weeks. I was with my boyfriend for over a year but before we broke up our relationship was toxic as we argued pretty much everyday. I then found out he was cheating and doing drugs so I broke up with him and he got with the other girl. I haven't heard from him since July a few hours ago he messaged me saying 'hey, how are you?'.

Wibu if I ignored him? Or should I reply? Can I have some advice please

What are his family like ?
If they're ok and your mum is happy about it , offer him to come to your house once a week or so to see the baby and gradually build contact ?

he's changed and he wants to be a good dad and he only realised the other week when he was arrested

Take a step back OP, focus on you, your baby and finishing your education even if it takes a bit longer than planned. Now is the time to build a secure future for you and your baby, do you honestly think this guy will help build with you or hold you back? He only realised last week that he wanted to change, to be reliable and present for you and the baby, so what has he offered? Money for baby bits, bits for you, any offer of help for you, no it has been what he wants and needs. Leave him to his mates, drugs and early entry into Her Majesty's prison services.

See how his behaviour is between now and the baby arriving. If he truly wants to be a part of his child's life he will turn his life around. Then when baby is here hopefully you can arrange times for him to visit and he can be involved.
Only time will tell.
I was once a drug taking party girl.
Now I'm older and sensible as a nun😁

I made this post a few weeks ago but I had to make a new account. He was messaging me alot and I gave birth on the 13th. He met our son on Friday and was meant to see us today but he texted me saying he forgot that he's at his dad's so he can't. He's just messaged me saying son deserves a better dad than him and he'll just mess his life up. I don't know what to do now

Congratulations on your new baby!!! That’s lovely.

If he “forgot” about his son at this point, he’s probably not going to be someone you can rely on, at least not immediately. Sorry, OP, but it does sound like he’s going to drag you down.
You could text something like “you don’t need to be a perfect Dad, but you need to be a reliable one. We’re the adults on this situation so need to put (baby) first”. Your lovely baby son won’t know his Dad was meant to visit him, but if the pattern continues when he’s older that’s going to be really destructive.

Don’t get sucked into the “I can’t be a good Dad” angst, nor let him use that as an excuse.

I was going to say what @Saz12 has put, but she's put it better than I could have phrased it.
He's shown you where you and your son are in his pecking order and is already lining up his excuses.

@Saz12

Congratulations on your new baby!!! That’s lovely.

If he “forgot” about his son at this point, he’s probably not going to be someone you can rely on, at least not immediately. Sorry, OP, but it does sound like he’s going to drag you down.
You could text something like “you don’t need to be a perfect Dad, but you need to be a reliable one. We’re the adults on this situation so need to put (baby) first”. Your lovely baby son won’t know his Dad was meant to visit him, but if the pattern continues when he’s older that’s going to be really destructive.

Don’t get sucked into the “I can’t be a good Dad” angst, nor let him use that as an excuse.

This

Congrats OP.

Other than this push on with your life - I think you said you were going back to finish GCSEs? Good luck with that and have a good Christmas in the meantime.

He messaged saying he wants to be a good dad but he won't be and apparently his dad told him he shouldn't be wasting his life by being a dad so young as he won't be a good dad anyway. I told him it's up to him not his dad and he might be a good dad if he tried and saw his son regularly and he's agreed to seeing him on Monday