AIBU to feel enormous relief?

[Chimbleys]

I bit the bullet today and had the Christmas conversation with my dm who is late 80s and lives 200 miles away.
Due to personal circumstances and Covid I haven't seen her for almost a year and feel desperately guilty despite us having a very combative relationship.
She suggested postponing Christmas until next year and a huge weight has lifted from my shoulders. I'm due my second dc December 15th or there abouts and have a 3 year old that dm would rather be a girl.
Dh is delighted (!) but my friend thinks I'm being awful.

Late 80s!! What if its her last Christmas?

If everyone is happy, what's the problem?

Fuck what your "friends" think. It's none of their business.

YANBU. Enormous relief being felt here too after the Christmas conversation. I was building up to broaching the subject, had planned out my explanation for why I won't be visiting this year, when my parent said "I assume you won't be coming to visit for Christmas". It was such a massive relief. I never look forward to Christmas withvfamily, it's very stressful (not to mention very boring) and nothing like all these big, fun, happy, jolly, amazing family get togethers that other people are upset about not having this year. I do feel a little sad not to have experienced that type of Christmas.

@MummmyDayCareNameChangeAGAIN

Late 80s!! What if its her last Christmas?

Have you experienced having a difficult relationship with a parent? It's often not as easy as "what if it's her last Christmas?"

@MummmyDayCareNameChangeAGAIN

Late 80s!! What if its her last Christmas?

What if she were 50 and hit by a bus Boxing Day? None of us knows what the future brings. Except it wouldn't be a 200 mile drive with a week old baby!

It's normal to feel relief, but I would consider that at her age, there might not be a next year. That might not make you come to a different decision but it's better not to be blindsided if it happens.

Regardless of anything else, you'd be crazy to do that journey twice in a few days with a brand new new baby
You'd be stopped more than you'd be going. I had twins Dec 13th, I'm hoping baby is a few days early not late for you

I only saw my mum once a year as she chose to go back to her own country.
I can see why part of you will feel relived. My friends family have bought her an iPad and she is getting the internet so they can FaceTime for Christmas as two of her children live in the north east and another down south. She is missing her grandchildren I think it is brilliant of them. She is quite excited.

"3 year old that dm would rather be a girl"

@MummmyDayCareNameChangeAGAIN

Late 80s!! What if its her last Christmas?

It could be absolutely anyone's last Christmas though.

If you dont see each other much anyway, what relevance is xmas day, plus she is no safer xmas day than she was today or in the peak of 800 deaths a day, its sensible not to see her, albeit it could be her last.

Have it at easter if vaccines are up and running?