Me and my husband have been separated for 2 years married 3.5 (Yup, it was over before it begun)
I moved into his flat in London after the birth of our 1st born, very soon after i was pregnant again, and things fell apart as he wasnt ready for all that comes with children and a family. I moved out to a flat closeby so he could visit the children, but it was a huge financial strain on me as he refused to contribute he never gave me any money bar £1k, refusal of all monies was throughout my pregnancies, no contribution to the new London flat I was renting so he can see the kids at his leisure, he never bought any baby items like pram, car seats, sterlisers etc. No house keeping or general sharing of any of his salary, plus i wasnt working as I'd quit my job just before our 1st baby I hope you are getting the picture, it wasnt a healthy relationship. I left the rented flat after 6 months as I was struggling financially and when I told him I was really struggling he said he didnt care, I should live in the gutter. So I decided to leave with the kids and go to my parents in Manchester, where they rebuilt me and transformed the kids.
Although we are seperated I want the kids to have a relationship with their dad so he used to be able to stay in the spare room at my parents house, but he became rude and abusive to my dad one day, so I told him he could no longer come to their house, so for the past 6 months hes been booking a hotel once or twice a month when he sees the kids. When I left london, I gave him a wake up that things were going to change and he agreed to contribute £200 per month for each child (£400 monthly total) however these last 4 months he hasn't paid the full amount and this month he said hes paying half and will continue to do so as I have to contribute to his hotel and train costs, is this true as it seems so unfair? Im again at the point of being fed up where he talks to me like I'm worthless, so I want a divorce, however I have property which my parents bought for me a long time before him, they rent it out, i dont get any of their rent monies, but is he entitled to any share of it as it's in my name? We weren't married long and I have the kids full time hes never had them over night. I want a clean break but he wants some of the capital from the house my parents bought me, and some rent monies, they are pensioners and I dont want to alarm them by telling them wrong info, they already let us live in their house and do everything they can. Any help is greatly appreciated, this is my 1st ever post, sorry it's so long.
Do you think I could get a clean break any advice? He would contest it I think.
I appreciate any advice or similar situations you may have been through.
African mum x