To think older women don't like other older women?

[malificent7]

In the workplace. I am 42...ime women my age or older can be nean as they cannot mother me/ see me as a( non-existant ) threat. The younger women seem to be lovely to me bar 1 or 2 ageist types.
Why do we give each other such a hard time?
Men get mollycoddled by women regardless of age.
It's tough being okder and jow depresding at age 42, i am deemed " older." ( this has been said to me directly....i feel young still.)

I’ve never seen this.

I don’t even know where to begin with your post!

I will preface this by saying you will read my post and just think it entirely confirms your beliefs. So I’m on a hiding to nothing, but nonetheless...

I’m the same decade as you, but older.

I don’t see anyone as a threat, and if anyone sees me as a threat, it blithely goes completely over my head.

The women at work who are my age are friendly and chatty. I have never noticed one discernible difference between the women my own age, the women younger than me, or the women who are older than me. Not one.

I put it to you, that perhaps the issue is you (see my comment above where I state that this is where you will think I’m being mean, and it just confirms all your beliefs).

And finally - not once, ever, have I ‘mollycoddled’ a man. Not my own husband, and certainly not a male colleague at my work place [shudder] 😳

Your comment suggests you wish to be mollycoddled, and you’re feeling short-changed that you’re not. Again, I therefore suggest that perhaps the issue lies with you.

Not at all. I'm 60. Work with very supportive teams of women of all ages, I'm one of the eldest, but there is a whole extended feeling of professionalism, friendliness and 'got your back.'

I work with men and women that are a range of ages and don’t have any issues.

I don't think 42 is old but actual older women are usually very supportive of each other in my experience.

In my first placement a older woman( who looked amazing and was very accomplished) tutted whenever i made a mistake. 2 years ago. I found it scarring. She loved the 18 year old as she could mother her.
I tried to find common ground but ...no.
Aging is a reminder of the facts of life/ mortality. People cannot handle it.

Not in my experience, and I’m 48 and work with men and women of all ages.

According to the journal, the place to move to is costa rica.
Just putting that out there

I disagree OP, I work in a group of 6 women and one man, we range in age from 58 to 62 usually anywhere from 2 to 4 of us in on any one day.
We might have a moan about whatever, but take care of each other.

Sounds like you are attributing individual characteristics to an age/sex that just aren’t common to the group.

Aging is a reminder of the facts of life/ mortality. SOMEPeople cannot handle it
Fixed that - I’m 50 and handling it perfectly well

I've never found it to be the case
It's a strange statement to make, step away from the wine 🍷😂
I tend to get along with pretty much all age groups. You must be unlucky OP 😉

Actually I have some sympathy for you OP. A lot of posters on MN seem to work in public service jobs or other areas that are friendly to old(er) people, but I work in a tech focused area where there's a huge premium on being a 'digital native' and often on working silly hours, which means that in practice people aged 35+, especially those with family responsibilities, are in a funny place. If you aren't either very senior or incredibly competent you can get passed over for projects, and other older people don't want to hang around you because the last thing people want is to look like a pair of old biddies.

I'm in my 30s and still one of the oldest around, and while I've personally found mostly supportive relationships, that's also because I'm one of the people in charge, and I do see some women who feel like the OP. My advice would be to keep building relationships, and stop focus on mean people. Unless you're in a convent, there's also nothing stopping you from good working relationships with male colleagues too. And if none of that works, then maybe it's time for a new job, or just to.accept it's a means to a pay packet and keep your emotional needs met outside.

I don’t recognise anything you’re talking about, OP.

From 25 to 51 I’ve found working with women to be a positive experience on the whole. Prior to age 25 I worked in male dominated environments and I hated it.
Now I actively seek out female dominated sectors because they are much better to work in IME.

@OverTheRubicon i am 50 in a civil service job and unusually perhaps(?) Im the 2nd oldest woman! The other woman is two rungs above me.

I think what helps me is thst im happy to be this age. I have lotscof time left. I was more anxious in my younger years. Im open but not repetitive about the things im happy about in my life.

If I remember correctly you're a mature student doing a medical degree?
Ignore the petty ones.

Funny you shoul say that Owlone
....tis my dream to live in Costa Rica and should I win the lottery I would buy an eco hotel there!

Should*

Not from my expeirence, fortunately. I really value my colleagues who are 'older' (late 30s/early to mid 40s) and they value me. The younger girls are in their 20s and while they're very nice, they're at a completely different stage of their lives and careers to us. We older ones relate more to each other and value each other's opinons professionally.

I think mean, territorial and difficult people are probably unpleasant at all ages!

Actually some of my best mates are the younger ones...some of the women my own age are dissapointingly not so chummy.

I meant to post that on the 'should i move to ireland?' thread! My last two suggestions were Derry and Newry 🤣

Professionally I hate gender generalisation
I worked with great people of all genders
And some shit people
Both genders

Whilst I’m no way blind or unaware of gender discrimination , professionally I’ve genuinely never seen one gender behave a certain way within a fixed negative concept
And I’ve been working for a staggering 34 years

I work with mostly women from 20s up to retirement age and they are a fantastic team. I'm late 40s and prob have less in common with the young ones but they bring new ideas and energy that's good for everyone. Socially I spend more time with my age-ish and up and have found amazing support professionally and personally. The blokes that wander in once in a while, not so much. Too much ego and needless posturing.

I understand what the OP is saying.

Other women her age see her as a threat, because she's probably got considerable experience and qualifications at her age and therefore is in direct competition to them.

They probably don't see the 18 year old as a threat for a promotion, so can be kinder to her.

What a load of absolute rubbish! For what it's worth, I'm 61 and have never mothered or mollycoddled anyone in my life, whatever their age.