To be pregnant and not want to discuss with work my personal life

[Nojudgments]

I've found out I'm pregnant I think 5 weeks, I don't want to tell work, I don't want to. Discuss it, I just want to be left alone, I'm 38 too and have 3 dc with ex dh, I feel like I look like an irresponsible teenager 😔 I don't want this situation at all, I want to keep the baby (unplanned and a shock) but I know colleagues will be asking questions etc it's easy to say I dont have to discuss it but it's not as simple as that really is it....

Congratulations!

You certainly don’t have to tell them for a few months - I would hold off as long as possible and then just prepare some bland, stock responses for when you do tell people. People are generally polite and positive about a new baby - they hopefully won’t ask anything intrusive, especially if it’s obvious you’re not forthcoming with answers if they do.

I just don't want to tbh I'm quite depressed and suffer bad anxiety, I just want to be left alone 😔

Congratulations!

Apart from telling your manager at some point you don't need to discuss it with anyone else. It's be polite but firm and change the topic.

Be kind to yourself. You've only just found out. It's a big shock to get used to. And absolutely no reason to tell anyone at all for at least two months, so just have some time to yourself (as best you can with three DC)

You don’t need to tell anyone anything right now. I’m 21 weeks tomorrow and only told my work on Wednesday.

Congratulations OP! Whether to tell or not would depend on what job you do i.e. would you need to be put on restricted duties for your own safety? If not then maybe just tell your manager and ask for it to be kept confidential until you're ready to tell people.

Put it out of your mind for now once you start to show I'd expect a congratulations anything after that it is none of their business.
I know it can be awkward if you are usually friendly.
Congratulations.

When you do tell people. Could you not say something like “ I’m really happy about it, I don’t really want to go into the ins and out but it’s coming as a refreshing surprise. Can we get back to work now?” Said in a nice tone.

At such point as you tell anyone at work (eg so they can do a pregnancy risk assessment, or because you have an antenatal appointment), you can make it quite clear to them that you wish it to be kept confidential for the time-being. Obviously there will come a point when it's obvious to everyone, but that's not going to be for a few months. Unless there's a pressing need, it makes sense not to tell anyone until the second trimester.

And yes, prepare your response for when it does become public knowledge, as LouiseTrees says. Depending on the demographics at work, you might even go down the line of "I always think it's best not to be talking about it at work, in case a colleague is struggling to conceive".

Op congratulations and I agree with pp that you don't have to say anything you don't wish to.

I'm concerned about you though...In no way does this pregnancy make you anything like an irresponsible teenager. Ppl won't judge you like that...It sounds more like you feel you've been irresponsible?

Please cut yourself some slack and be kind to yourself, especially while you're getting your head around it. Is there someone near you who can support you right now? A close friend or family member or even your GP?

You've raised 3 children and weathered a divorce, to me you sound pretty amazing tbh. It's your life, your family and I'm sure that any feelings your colleagues will have for you will be happiness and maybe even a little envy.

Your life choices are your own business and no one else, the conception might be a surprise but the pregnancy is your choice. Be gentle with yourself and hold your head high

Thank you for all your kind comments, I look irresponsible for reasons I don't really want to put on here, I welcome a private message but it's very complicated and I'm so stressed over it, I haven't been sleeping, it's racking my brains every day to the point I'd rather hand my notice in then face this...

Congratulations! I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until I was going on maternity leave and still most people didn't know at all it just eventually made its way around the office. The only people that knew were HR but you certainly don't have to tell anyone anything! Wear baggy tops if you have to

Thanks you've made me. Feel a little better

If you can’t disguise it, tell them it’s a risky or complicated pregnancy and you don’t want to talk / think too much about things as a result. I’d be staggered if anyone was insensitive enough to still want to ask questions. None of it is their business.

Where I worked, we had a member of the team get pregnant and didn’t want anyone to ask around the circumstances.

Our manager informed us of her news and that she didn’t want questions.

No problem.

None of us were all that interested in the ins and outs anyway. We wished her luck with the pregnancy and dropped the topic.

I don’t think anyone is really all that interested in pregnancies of coworkers anyway.

I've pmd u