I have no experience of divorce lawyers so no idea if what I’m experiencing is the norm. Happy to be told I’m being unreasonable.
Sorry for length- have tried to keep short as poss.
A bit of background. In early stages of divorce. Not amicable. Stbxh moved out and doesn’t want to sort anything out ourselves and only wants to use courts/solicitor for both child arrangements and finances. Stbxh also not allocating enough funds for myself and dc. This is adding to my costs and stress and debt. I will have to borrow money so basically means I think twice before contacting lawyer at all as everything is obviously chargeable.
Solicitor acting for me for about 3 months. I’ve noticed a pattern. Only takes my calls when she wants to speak to me ie when she has a deadline or needs my feedback.
Doesn’t return my call for days citing court /busy /family matters. Same for emails. To speak to her I have to book time in her diary often days in advance and then we talk on phone. I don’t contact her often at all as aware this costs me money I basically don’t have.
Recently had child hearing. Had a few conversations with her about what to expect. Told it was just to set out our positions on the matter. Nothing else. What actually happened on the day was entirely different. Found myself having to agree on things like holidays and contact without being given any time to do so. In pre hearing phone chat, she seemed very supportive of my position but during hearing I felt unsupported and exposed.
After hearing, I was told to expect notes detailing what agreed so far in the next day or so. Didn’t arrive but didn’t chase as it’s never got me anywhere before and didn’t think there was any urgency. Got an email 4 days later with the draft document saying that I had to approve it that day as it had to be filed with the courts which was a surprise.
Had to chase her for the final version filed with courts. She supplied it and made a comment about a key point (the major sticking point between me and stbxh) having changed but didn’t fully explain what it meant. Had to go back to her for clarification and she did reply but no salutation or sign off of her email which gave me the impression she was irritated that I wasn’t dropping it. I don’t see the point of me approving a document that is later changed and then filed with the courts.
All of this adding to my stress, financial worries and general feeling over being incredibly overwhelmed. Stbxh also criticises me to dc and dc regularly upset by his behaviour.
I feel really annoyed that that despite several conversations in the lead up to the hearing, at no point was I made aware of the process and deadlines or what was expected of me, and that I had very little time to process things before I had to make a decision. I feel like I’ve steamrolled into accepting an outcome I am not in agreement with.
Is this how they operate? Am I just expected to deal with it and move on or do I cut my losses with her and go elsewhere?