To have walked out?

[Magicra84]

This morning I went to my exes (we are now very good friends and we are very close and see each other almost every day). I went to use his internet as mine is down at the moment. Really nice of him to let me use it.

Ex has always been 'all about him'. He goes on rants about how he's been hard done by (sometimes justified) and doesn't shy away from telling me about his achievements. It's just how he is. He has redeeming qualities and has been there for me when the shit has got tough in the past.

So this morning I text him when I was two minutes away and he says he will unlock the door. I get there and the door is not unlocked so I knock, and knock and knock. Eventually after five mins he comes to the door, doesn't even say hello and smile (this is usual for him with me) and instead goes on a rant about how he thought the door was unlocked but didn't come straight away to let me in because the dog would bite him.

I got a bit pissed off and just said that I was going home, turned around and off I went. He rarely says hello to me anyway, but this morning I was just really fucking fed up with it tbh. I feel he's rude and a smile and a hello would've been really nice but he can't even afford me that. Wibu?

Also, although he rarely says hello and smiles to greet me, with others he's normal! It really got to me this morning though!

Does he think you're good friends and close? Because it doesn't sound like it to me.

I think you both need to move on.

Well, you’re not really close and really good friends, are you? Why are you convincing yourself of that fiction? The pair of you have got some weird little “relationship” going on that suits you both for whatever reason.

However, YABU to get yourself worked up because he didn’t smile and say hello, when you’ve already accepted the boundaries of him being rude to you in that way 🤷🏻‍♀️

YWNBU to leave of course, you can for any reason. But that reason was an odd one.

I’d spend time thinking about why you’re so keen to portray this friendship as so good.

My primary reaction on reading this is to think that neither of you have moved on.

Your ex sounds very much like mine and I really couldn't give a shit what he does. His behaviour has no impact on me whatsoever and I wouldn't expend energy walking out or storming off over anything he said.

Nothing wrong with being on good terms with an ex but you are far too emotionally enmeshed.

It sounds like the poor part of your relationship, ie the bit that no doubt split you up, is thoroughly ingrained. You need to set a boundary and make clear that not even managing to be civil and friendly is not a trait you want in a friend. That’s the shit you save for the people you don’t like.

Whose dog?

I could be wrong and don't want to cause offence , but he might want you out of his life . That's not unusual with exs

I’ve looked at your other posts OP, sometimes it helps to shed light on what it is going on. You also have a man in your life that you describe as your “best friend”, you talk to him every day, you say that you’re “close” - yet you’d now reached the end of your tether realising it was one-sided, as he kept cancelling your occasional meets.

So... two is a potential pattern, isn’t it? You seem (and I apologise for the assumptions and armchair diagnosis) to (a) have a bit of a need to describe your friendships as best/close/very good and (b) put up with the other person clearly showing they don’t value the friendship. Maybe this incident is the time to think about why you are prepared to put more in than you get back, and why you need to tell yourself how good these one way friendships are?

YWNBU but this is a disaster waiting to happen.

Don't rely on him, because sure as shit you're not 'friends'.

There's a reason that an ex is an ex.

I’m confused about the dog? You take your dog around when you visit and he doesn’t want to physically let you in for fear of your dog biting him so leaves the door open for you? If so, fucking hell, leave your dog at home as that is taking the piss and no wonder he’s not happy to see you. If it’s his own dog that he thinks will bite him then ???? I don’t get it.

Irrespective, he doesn’t seem happy to see you so maybe stop going around?

If you had been texting that morning hadn't you already said hello? I couldn't get worked up about going round to someone's house where they are doing me a favour and get upset because there weren't any balloons and streamers to welcome me.

Honestly it sounds like you have very different views of your relationship, I think you’re more attached to it than he is and you need to untangle yourself from him

I assumed the dog was his, and that he needed to settle it after it got exited about the knocking... hence not being able to go straight to the door.

I do find myself assuming he’s a dick who can’t be arsed with the hard work of training a dog, rather than a lovely man working hard on a last chance hard to place rescue with high anxiety and bad habits though!

Oh and you should probably stop having sex with him (I've had one of those exes)

Blurred lines. He's not your mate.

You've previously been obsessive over a male friend of yours (multiple threads - I remember them well) who is gay and you are now very fixated on why your ex isn't very nice to you.

What you should be fixated on is why you have unhealthy attachments with men and how you can combat that so it stops happening.

It's unhealthy and sounds like you don't walk away from friendships or relationships even when they make you unhappy and make your depression worse.

To be honest this sounds like an over reaction (on your part) plus you are waaaay too needy?