No effort for my birthday

[birthdaybitch27]

My partner has made 0 effort for my birthday whatsoever and I feel so angry about it!

He asked me what I wanted a few weeks ago and told me to order it as he doesn't know how to do it all. So he didn't even order it himself or get someone to do it for him but I'm used to doing that kind of stuff so no big deal.

Woke me up this morning at 6am with our 2 year old and he's just gone downstairs to watch the news and left me with her. He's been getting her up early all week and I asked if he could give me a little lie in today - obviously didn't care about that.

Heard the kettle thought at least he'll do me a tea, nope just made his own.

And to top it off he hasn't even gave me a card or a present, it's still on top of the wardrobe and he done my "card" on a scrap piece of paper because he couldn't find the keys to go to the shop at 9pm last night.

AIBU or being a brat?

Happy Birthday!! .
Remember that old saying what goes around comes around??
He gets naff all either op.
A year old =a year wiser.... This is your future op... Consider it..

Happy Birthday. (Birthday twin, it's my birthday today ) your partner is a c*nt. I wouldn't put up with that crap. Is he helpful in other ways or totally useless?

@mynameiscalypso

It's my birthday too (and I've been up since 6am with 15 month old DS too!). Happy birthday! I feel you with the lack of effort. I have just opened the Amazon packages which have been sat on our dining table all week. I've compensated for it by eating chocolate for breakfast (in secret so I didn't have to share with DS). I hope your day gets better!

That's 3 off us. Happy Birthday to us.

You are not being a brat, he is a lazy shit.
make sure he knows in no uncertain terms you are very angry so he never does this again. There is no excuse for this kind of behaviour in a relationship.

Time to take stock. Is this the worst birthday you've ever had? Is it about your birthday or the behaviour of your partner?

WISHING YOU THE HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS OP XXXXX

Happy birthday @AlbusSeverusMalfoy too!

Honestly every birthday is the same! He usually goes and gets me a petrol station card before I've even woke up but this year trumps it!

Happy birthday birthday twins!!

Happy birthday.

You deserve better. He doesn't know how to buy a gift so you have to get your own because you're "used to it"? Or how to show you some care on your birthday by making you a drink?

Why do women stand for this shit? Seriously.

Happy Birthday 🎂

Is he always like this?

He's been getting her up early all week and I asked if he could give me a little lie in today - obviously didn't care about that.
What does this mean? He's been deliberately getting your two year old up early? Do you mean because you need to leave for nursery or just because he wanted to? Is he getting her up early then dumping her on you?

A petrol station card? Wow
He sounds like such a dick

Happy birthday OP. I’m sorry he’s been so rubbish x

You're not being a brat at all. You specifically asked for a lie in, it's the least he could do to look after your daughter if all hes doing is sitting drinking tea and hes not rushed out to work or something already. I'd be fuming that he couldn't do one nice thing for you even when youd asked. I'd be asking him why

(Presents would bother me less, we are the same in this house, it's my birthday on Monday and I've sent him links to some things I wanted and they've turned up and sat in the hall since. He also got me a little surprise but that's also in its box in the hall so is no longer a surprise. But for his birthday he always wants some technical hobby related thing so he gets it himself and I just add some chocolate onto the supermarket shop so neither of us are big on presents).

Happy Birthday!

I’d be really hurt and angry. It feels deliberately uncaring. Does he have form for this?

@birthdaybitch27

Honestly every birthday is the same! He usually goes and gets me a petrol station card before I've even woke up but this year trumps it!

Happy birthday birthday twins!!

Happy Birthday from the MN girls!!!

When is his birthday? Do the utmost same for him!! Nice early wakeup with the baby then go shopping to Tesco for a card maybe?

Have a great day!

Well Happy Birthday from me ! Really so many men just dont seem to acknowledge Birthdays at all do they? I would say "Whats for Supper tonight "? And make it clear either he cooks or its takeout. Also tell him Tesco/Sainsburys do great Chocolate birthday Cakes!

Sorry but why are you even with someone who is apparently unable to order a simple gift?

The "doesn't know how to do it all" is basically saying he can't be arsed and you are not important enough to him.

He is a grown man isn't he? Not a child, why can't he order it?

You need to raise your standards OP.

You are allowing yourself to be treated like shit.

Happy birthday OP.

With regards to your dp, I imagine he’s always a lazy arsehole who shows you no consideration and it’s made you feel worse today because it’s your birthday, when it is a day for a little bit of special-ness. Even if that is an hour lie in and a cuppa in bed. You’ve said yourself it’s the same every birthday, and I imagine it’s the same every day it’s just you think today he should actively pretend he gives a shit.

You are definitely not being a brat

If it is the same every birthday and you’ve decided to have a child together, then he knows that you’re willing to tolerate his (lack of) effort.

He’s not going to step up because he knows you don’t have the self-respect to object.

I don't understand grown adults having this kind of attitude to their own birthdays."I was born on this day x years ago, therefore everyone has to treat me like I am the Queen of Sheba". I lay much more value on spontaneous signs of love and affection - my husband goes out for the usual shopping banalities (bread, milk........) and comes home with a pack of my favourite biscuits or a bar of my favourite chocolate or a small flowering plant for the windowsill. Those for me are true signs that I am valued for who I am and just not when my mother happened to give birth to me (over which I had no influence or choice at all)..

@IgiveupallthenamesIwantedareg0

I don't understand grown adults having this kind of attitude to their own birthdays."I was born on this day x years ago, therefore everyone has to treat me like I am the Queen of Sheba". I lay much more value on spontaneous signs of love and affection - my husband goes out for the usual shopping banalities (bread, milk........) and comes home with a pack of my favourite biscuits or a bar of my favourite chocolate or a small flowering plant for the windowsill. Those for me are true signs that I am valued for who I am and just not when my mother happened to give birth to me (over which I had no influence or choice at all)..

If that's good enough for you then fair enough. Doesn't make anyone else's view any less valid.

DH does little things for me all the time, but I'd still be mightily put out if he expected to treat my birthday like any other Friday. Men are capable of showing their regard for people in more than one way and I expect my birthday to be marked.