to not know if I want children?

[Dannyandsandy]

I’m 26. In a relationship of 1.5 years. My boyfriend 100% does not want children. He’s 34 and has definitely made up his mind. At the moment, I don’t think I want them but who’s knows in the future? I’m unsure whether to break up with him because I love him but I sometimes feel as though I am delaying an inevitable break up if I do change my mind about having them? has anyone here had kids after being undecided about them?

It's not something you can compromise on so I'd say best to split now, it'll be more painful later. I have always known I didn't want DC but it sounds like you might.

I think it’s not always obvious to people that they want children but your mind may change in a couple of years.

At 26? Gosh yes.

At 26 I don't know any one of my circle of friends - post uni, working, partying hard, city living - who would have replied anything other than 'God I don't know! Can't imagine having a baby haha!'

Fast forward a decade and they'd all started or were trying to start families.

If you were 35 saying this I'd answer differently.

He's 34? What will quite probably happen to him is that he'll come round to the idea by 40, because he has the luxury of choice, and quite possibly find a younger woman to have babies with. Or... he really might not. You don't gamble your fertile years on that, no.

The advice I would give, being utterly practical, is to not waste time with a man in this category because if/when you do change your mind at 32, and if you're still with him, you're back to square one, harder to move on, and more of the good guys are taken.

So I'd end it now and move on.

Of the people I knew who in their 20s were certain they did not want children, I would say 80% changed their view. But to be a bit more specific, I would say 90% of the women who felt that way, but maybe only 70% of the men. I would also say that the three blokes I knew who didnt want kids and were basically talked into it by partners, none of those relationships lasted.

Quite a lot of the people I knew who changed their minds actually became very very into it in their 30s!