To think my peer group are annoying?

[malificent7]

At uni retraining in healthcare and I do get on with my peers but the constant grade discussion/ comparison is getting me down a bit. How do i tell them to politely fuck off/ drop the subject?
I have a mixture of very good grades/ not such good grades...i dont want to share them and i dont want to know anyone elses. I hate the fact that all the whipsering about grades / other's performances goes on. Aggggrrr!

Is this on WhatsApp or another platform? Either mute the group or ask them to set another group for grade discussions etc

No...real life

Healthcare isnt on lock down

change the subject when it comes up?

They sound a bit tragic. When did discussing your grades incessantly become a thing? When I was a student, everyone just rolled their eyes and said 'Nightmare!' after an assignment, and then moved on. I can honestly say I had no idea what grades my friends and classmates got the vast majority of the time.

Totally tragic....agggrrr!

And ver insecure!

I'm not sure it is them who is insecure.

If you don't want to be a part of the conversation, step away from it. Or zone out for a minute, it doesn't take long for people to say what they got and move on.

Very*

Well it's easy to be insecure when its all people want to talk about. I got 99% in one exam for example, 2 years ago and only divulged today when a peer pressured me to tell him. But i failed other modules so...

I had this OP and yes it was so tedious. I used to disappear for long sessions in the library for some peace and quiet .
Another student asked me if it was just them that didn't care if they didn't get a first and that made me feel a lot better!

It'll be difficult to get them to drop it as that's the common ground that binds you all. I was having CBT for anxiety at the time and the professional said to me "Don't let them have all the power, take some of it back". I found this really helpful. If that means asking them not to talk about it/drop it or removing yourself from the situation then so be it.

That's the only advice I've got. But I sympathise. You won't be the only one in the course thinking this about people on it, trust me!

Another student asked me if it was just them that didn't care if they didn't get a first

For me the point is that you're allowed to care if you get a first, but you are absolutely within your rights not to give a shiny shite whether anyone else gets one, ever, or to be bored by other people's grade-related navel-gazing.

I just wish we could talk about other stuff that actually matters!

Are you older, @malificent7, and your academic cohort are chiefly school-leavers? My younger sister went to university aged 23, so barely old enough to be an official mature student, and found there was a giant generation gap between her and the eighteen-year-olds. Unfortunately, the older mature students classed her with the school-leavers, so it was a pretty lonely experience for her.

A real mix....some mature....some younger...all obsessed with grades....even the mature ones older than me!

It’s not up to you to decide what they do among themselves. Some people want to benchmark, some to show off, some it’s just camaraderie. So don’t join in 🤷🏻‍♀️
I used to find it boring as fuck listening to my classmates talk about who was drunk last night... but it wasn’t my choice what they talked about.
I find it really odd that peer pressure could make you divulge a 2 year old exam result!
Don’t offer, and when directly asked, laugh and say, “I really hate the comparison and analysis over something I can’t change now, so I’d rather move on.”

well there is limited point being there if you are not invested in your grades to be honest. I don't know OP you sound very frustrated by it and i'm quite sure it must be an irritant but they can talk about what they want. You as an independent individual are welcome to excuse yourself or politely say you don't like to discuss your grades if it comes up. Wishing you could tell them to fuck off and calling them tragic doesn't exactly reflect well, given you are on here slating them.

Are you actively starting conversations with people about different things? Not every single person can be the same and i am sure a lot of them are just responding to conversation that has come up as part of normal getting through the day. Try getting to know people one on one or just simply accept the social environment on offer isn't for you and get through your qualification. It'll be over soon enough.

As you are training to work in healthcare you will need communication skills that enable you to steer a conversation/interview/consultation. Maybe you look at these boring exchanges about grades as an opportunity to practise your skills in managing a conversation and changing the subject to something you find interesting? Your communication with patients/clients/service users will benefit.

Lol! Some great replies on here!