AIBU to not make my son wear a coat

[choosername1234]

My son is 8 (in Y4), he doesn't "feel the cold", he takes after my husband in that way. He will wear shorts all year round including to school - I've given up even buying him long school trousers
His school have said that the children can wear body warmers / gilets in the classroom as all windows will be open to help stop Covid spread. He has now taken to wearing the gilet to school instead of his coat as he says he gets too hot in the playground - he is never wearing the coat when I pick him up in the afternoon.
He has told me that a teacher has told him he has to wear a coat because it's winter. It hasn't rained during the school day for ages
We are in London where temperatures have been in double figures up to now.
So....WIBU to just let him wear the gilet rather than make him wear a coat because he doesn't need the coat?

I never made my dc wear coats either. Not once they were old enough to understand they would be cold if they didn't anyway.
If he gets cold he'll soon change his mind and being cold for one day won't harm him.

My son was the same OP. Still wears shorts all year if he can, he's in his 20's now.

Let him wear the gillet seperately Send a coat to school. If they can make him wear it good luck to them

Send him with a pack-a-mac sort of thing in case of rain. (Can easily live in a school bag easily)
Make sure he has a coat available, and hat, gloves etc.
Let him chose what layers he needs.

He's not the only one... My DD is still wearing socks with her skirt as to are too hot apparently. Takes her cardigan off in school. Both her and her sister wear sundresses after school. They have warm clothes, they fetch a jumper I cold.

YANBU

I’m one of those who doesn’t really get cold (plus come from a climate that gets very hot and cold and where I live in Oxford is nothing) and our sons (3&5) are the same whereas my husband is the opposite. He constantly tries putting extra clothes on them only for them to take them off minutes later. I get the occasional looks from others but I ignore them because my sons are comfortable, healthy, and happy. Some people are just naturally warmer than others.

I insist my 9 year old carries a jumper to and from school every day it's not boiling. It sits screwed up in the bottom of his bag for a week before I wash it.
If it is below 10, he needs to take a coat.
If there is frost on the floor, he is encouraged to wear an extra layer onto of his teeshirt.

But I've just bought him a bigger coat - it is a waterproof with the thinnest layer of fleece inside. Most definitely not a winter coat!

Frankly, the extra layers are because we keep getting messages about sending appropriate clothing, not because I think he will wear the stuff!!!

Would a fleece or summer waterproof class as a coat for school?!

I don't make mine wear coats but they do have to take one in their bag in case of rain. That's the school rule so that's what happens.

So reassuring that I'm not being cruel by not making him wear a coat. If he was allowed to take a bag into school I would just put a lightweight coat in the bottom of the bag, but it's book files and water bottles only....but that's another issue.
If he keeps getting told everyday by this one teacher / TA WIBU to email his class teacher and explain that he just doesn't feel the cold?

So he's allowed to wear a coat, but not carry one in a bag? Some schools are illogical.

Yanbu
My 8yo Y3 son is the same, its a battle every year, but temps in London have not been double figures until now, it has been quite chilly the last few weeks and you have to also remember that they don't have a warm glass to warm up in.

Warm class, not glass

Ugggh it really annoys me when teachers say things like this.
My child doesn't feel the cold either and I didn't force her to wear a coat from when she was a toddler. She's got better at wearing it but there are times in the winter and now when you'd expect her to and she won't.
She hates wearing school PE trousers and would much rather wear school PE shorts. But the teacher says they need to wear trousers cos of the cold and she's not confident enough to just wear shorts anyway.
It does annoy me

Could you get one of those macs that fold up into a small pouch? That might fit in his book bag.

Ds is year 9 and still chooses to wear shorts all tear round to school.
I haven't bought him a coat this year as the last time he wore one (under duress) was about year 3. I've passed 3 on unworn in that time.

@choosername1234

So reassuring that I'm not being cruel by not making him wear a coat. If he was allowed to take a bag into school I would just put a lightweight coat in the bottom of the bag, but it's book files and water bottles only....but that's another issue. If he keeps getting told everyday by this one teacher / TA WIBU to email his class teacher and explain that he just doesn't feel the cold?

You can try talking to the teacher.

There was one teacher in dd's primary (not even her class teacher) who kept telling her she had to wear school joggers in winter instead of shorts. I had put a lot of effort in with the PTA to get uniform shorts included (previously, it was navy shorts can be worn in summer) for exactly that eventuality so the was technically wearing the uniform.

Didn't matter to the teacher. It was winter. Legs must be covered. We ignored her as dd has a tendency to keel over when too hot. I did tell her at one stage that if the principal wanted a letter from the doctor to that effect I would get one but funnily enough, the principal never asked for a letter as he was a reasonable man who put children's welfare ahead of kids looking uniform.

My teenage DD spends April to October in shorts everyday - grudgingly wearing official school uniform when necessary but this year, they are allowed to wear sports uniform instead as no changing allowed so she was in shorts daily. Only now, when it is starting to cool down, is she agreeing to take a tracksuit bottom in her bag to put on in the later evening (after dinnertime) when doing study - but she still goes to school in shorts and her fleece. (She does say there is a coat in her locker if she needs it, and her gilet is in there too if its cold).

She is perfectly happy this way. She has the layers she needs if she gets cold. But she just doesn't feel the cold the same as I do. (Already have my thermals out...).

There was 1 primary teacher who couldn't comprehend this and sent home a number of notes. (She also couldn't deal with DD's ASD/ADHD issues either - there were a LOT of notes that year!). But she eventually relented when she saw that DD had a coat with her daily, and a jumper in her bag, and that DD just wasn't cold even though most of the rest of the class were.

I also have a Cub Scout who comes in her shorts even now in November. We are meeting outdoors, and most are very well muffled up - but this particular Cub is skipping along in shorts and a light long sleeved top - she gets stuck into everything but is not comfortable if she gets too hot. And there was another one like her a few years ago - the only time he wore trousers was when we went on a hike when there was snow on the ground, but he was perfectly happy otherwise with bare legs.

My parents grew up in a time when there was less heating in houses, and all boys would wear short trousers until they got to 2nd class in some places (roughly aged 8), or senior school in others (roughly 12) - that was the norm. They would walk to school and home again, and just had to be hardy.

We have one of these in ds2 class. We make a joke if we see his dad in trousers because hes in shorts all year round. I think once they are old enough to tell social services they arent cold your fine.

My 6 year old is still in shorts because that’s what he chooses, when he wants trousers he can wear trousers. I don’t make mine wear coats if they don’t want to, if they get cold they put them on. They’re both quite hot bodied.

DD1 (Y6) the same, she hardly feels the cold. However, we do make her take a weather-appropriate coat into school as per the school’s request, whether she wears it or not whilst there is not our problem.

He's old enough to dress himself. I'd email her but not justifying the decision just explaining that he's old enough to dress himself and she's making him and you uncomfortable for questioning his clothing every day.

You dont need to make him wear a coat but you should send a coat, then it's up to the school. Gilet will be fa use if it gets soaked through.

I wish I was like that.
I'm always cold.

No. I have one DC that doesn't feel the cold and one that will wear hat gloves and padded coat as soon as there's a breeze 🤷 normally if we're going somewhere we will take one and leave it in the car just in case when the rare occasion they've changed their mind.

You can’t force it. Some battles aren’t worth that fight! If he gets cold, he should be old enough at 8 to learn from that and take something warmer next time. If school asks, tell them “He has a big coat and won’t wear it. Trust me, we tried!”

My son is similar. Wears shorts all year round and not keen on coats. He takes the coat to school but I don’t think he ever wears it. He usually carries it to and from school (we only live a couple minutes away which is handy). He’s also wearing a fleece to school now due to the windows open/no heating etc like you say!

If it is raining heavily they don’t go outside anyway!

Dd on the other hand feels the cold and loves her winter hats, gloves etc. She’s not allowed to take stuff like that In atm due to covid as they aren’t allowed to take backpacks to store items in so just her fleece and coat it is.