... and to wonder what I can do about it.
In brief: huge backstory of abusive marriage and coercive control resulting in shared custody, 9yo and 15yo currently living with him due to his EA of me and the kids, FA of me, lying and bullying all of us over many years. 16yo living with me and refuses to see him.
Last week X, who has form with power-imbalance relationships with much younger women all from different countries, moved in latest gf who is 22yo (he's 48). X has a v close male friend who eggs him on, has been on trips to foreign sex destinations etc.
Last weekend X made 9-hour return car journey to pick up gf from airport, leaving 9yo with said friend, who has son her age. GF from different continent, doesn't speak his language (or kids' language) but he speaks hers. She's quarantining with them for 14 days 24/7 in small flat with no outlets, no idea how long she's staying after that.
9yo not happy about it, when I picked her up from school she'd clearly been told by X not to tell me gf was there and was confused when I said I already knew (she'd obviously gone to school in the morning having been told that, and he's decided to text me that afternoon before I picked her up telling me the gf was there, in case 9yo said something).
X dismissing 9yo's being upset as "jealousy" and telling her she'll have to get used to it, then telling me he'll get a psychologist to "aid her with the transition" (his words).
Court hearing in a couple of months, in which he's demanding full custody of 16yo and a psych assessment of my parenting ability, based purely on me removing 16yo from his home after she begged me to because she couldn't stand it any more and reported him to police for verbal abuse and bullying.
BU - his gf is none of my business and the kids will have to get used to it.
NBU - to not want my kids seeing women being used as objects, and push for full custody with much reduced contact between X and the 9yo.