To be freaking the f out!

[BigThang]

Because my babies due date is getting closer.

I thought I was pretty prepared but the closer it's getting I'm thinking FUCK what the hell am I supposed to do with a small human being. How am I supposed to keep this person alive.

AIBU to be having a little bit of a melt down at the thought that in a few short weeks I'll be responsible for a whole other person?!

I remember freaking out because I was worried that one day my babies (twins) would be 3 and I didn't know anything about 3 year olds!! I didn't know anything about tiny babies or one year olds or two year olds either, but for some reason it was three year olds that bothered me!

All I can offer is that you are THIS babies mother. Everyone can offer advice on their baby, but this is yours and new and no one knows it better than you.

Your baby already knows you and your heartbeat. You will be the best mother, because bad mums don’t sit and worry if they are good mums.

Go cavewoman: hunker down, feed him/her, cuddle, wipe the other end. Hold, sleep, have no expectations and in an indeterminate period of time you will emerge slowly back into the21st century unfortunately

I read all the books on pregnancy and birth but nothing further. At least you’ve realised now unlike me who couldn’t even strap baby into the bloody car seat. We’d practiced putting it in the car but not clipping a baby in the seat! It felt negligent of the maternity staff to let me leave with a small human considering my track record in keeping plants alive was alarmingly bad.

All your baby needs is to know they are loved and they matter.

Milk, clean, cuddle repeat.

As a PP said you’re not going to be responsible for a baby, just your baby, and you know them better than anyone else in this world.

@BigThang

I remember when I first started reading up on things, seeing all the different do's and don'ts and types of this and that and feeling like my head was going to burst and thinking I'm definitely going to mess this up!

I feel a bit more 'educated' now but still... HELP. 🤣

Whatever you read is simply someone else's experienceand opinion, personally I never read anything when I was pregnant, far too busy, and mine are fine. Go with the flow.

I cried when I was in labour because I didn't think I was ready for a baby. Don't worry OP, a freak out is totally normal! You'll be pleased to hear that my daughter is almost two, we're all thriving, and I'm desperate for another one. You and your baby will be a dream team, and you'll be a great mum.

I felt like this with all 3 of mine, and I look at each of them as they sleep every night (they're 8, 4 & 3) and wonder how to I've kept them alive so far! I barely keep myself alive but they're thriving like top of their respective classes kinda thriving!

I survived the early days (well 1st 4 years of my 1st as he just wouldn't sleep) my saving memes like this to motivate myself. I still look at them now and I've emailed them to each of my babies (email addresses I've set up for them) so they know how hard it is and also what their favourite song was that week with a YouTube link 🙂

You’ll be fine! Everything just seems to click the moment you see them for the first time. Good luck.

@bringitomm

Just try and breastfeed. It ends up solving so many different problems or challenging situations you can find yourself in with a new baby. If difficult at the beginning, find an IBCLC lactation consultant - they are brilliant and can make all the difference.

Or better still just make your own decision and feed your baby however you want. And if you do want to/have to bottle feed, the world won’t end.

OP, you'll be fine. I'm sure we all felt like this with our PFBs. 30 years ago I remember begging the midwives to let me stay in the maternity home for another week as they kicked me out the door whilst prising my fingers off the door frame! "But I'll kill it!" I cried! Obviously he survived - it sort of just seemed common sense. He was my baby and no-one was looking over my shoulder judging me, so I muddled through. Cleaned him, fed him, loved him, snuggled him etc. TBH that's all they need at first and by the time they need more you discover you've figured it out.
Wait til number 2, you'll be so casual, it'll border on neglect!

I remember getting the Xmas tree up early as I figured everything was going to be so bat shit crazy once the baby was here.

And it really wasn't. We got home and stared at her a lot. And she didn't do anything. Yup she didn't sleep at night but during the day you can pick them up and move them and they stay in the same place. This is quite amazing looking back. And once we stopped ironing everything it got so much easier. Do not iron stuff.

Honestly it'll be fine and wonderful. But breast feeding can be tricky as neither of you will have done it before.

I never thought much past being pregnant.
After dc arrived I was up doing a feed and change and I remember just looking at him thinking dear god.....what have I done this is 24/7 365 days of the year with no holiday!!
Each stage comes and I think to myself never imagined this part. Its like my brain has a safety behaviour and doesn't look past the stage we are at the time!
Its amazing op.

You’ll learn as you go along, everyone does! You’ll be fine

@WitchDancer

You'll be fine. As long as you can feed it, clean it, and give it somewhere to sleep, it will be content. Don't be afraid to ask your midwife for help, and read some books before then so you know the theory. Oh, and the first poo they do will be horrible as it's like tar - try and palm that one off on someone else 😁

I still remember what those tarry nappies smelled like. My youngest is 15

I remember having that exact same feeling around this time last year (baby born beginning of December) :)

Funny thing - the moment they put her in my arms, all my fears somehow disappeared, no idea how. I literally shook at the idea of changing such a fragile little being... and yet when I finally held her, I was surprisingly able to handle it all :)

Congratulations and quick and safe delivery!!!

Nothing can really prepare you. Congratulations and all the best.

You'll cope - I am still amazed that I got ds through to 25, and I sometimes pinch myself - but he's doing fine.

I felt like this when they let me home.

'I mean, you're really allowing me to go home with a BABY? I don't know anything about babies, though 😮.'

It was fine. It did take me about two hours to get him ready to leave the house the first time we went out though 🤣.

Just remember that far stupider people than you have managed, and that no stage lasts forever and you will be fine.

Ok, this is my go-to reminder that I am doing ok:

LOADS of people have babies: people with physical disabilities, people with mental health problems, people who have just lost someone close to them, people who have had a relationship breakdown, people who are struggling with the idea of having a child at all. They manage it. They do it, and they usually do a brilliant job, even though they are facing huge challenges and have to overcome all kinds of obstacles. I think of how people are facing the day and doing the best for their kids no matter what, and if they can do that with everything else they have going on in their lives, then so can I.

It's not exactly foolproof, but it reminds me that parenting is the thing we find the strength to do even when the world is against us and everything else seems too much like hard work.

That and google - gotta love parenting in the age of the smartphone!

Haha I stayed in the midwife unit for 3 days after dd1 was born (4 hour labour, no intervention or tears or anything, absolutely no reason why I needed to be there) just because I was terrified of taking this small person home. I remember finally driving home on day 3 in disbelief that anyone had let me take this person home and be responsible for her, and I was thinking I should have at least had an instruction book.

I was only 23, and if it’s any consolation said child (and my younger one) are still going strong 16 years later.

Oh OP totally normal to feel like this, I promise you'll be absolutely fine when the time comes.

I didn't have a great labour, so they kindly put me in a single room. After 5 days they started dropping hints about me going home. THAT's when I freaked out - what, and look after my baby all by MYSELF? I even had a DH to help, but I still freaked out.

We did it.
And you will too!
Don't try to plan it - just do it. Your baby will guide you.
Congratulations.

Ah it will all be fine, and yeah, totally usual. Or going on mine and friend/family experiences its normal anyway! I had a few fairly major freakouts in the last month or so, I couldnt even explain it eally as its not like I didn't know that there would be a baby at the end of it all, but it came over me in waves of panic at tmes..I found it both terrifying, and at times a little amusing, how wound up I would get over something thats been coming for a while!

I also came to the shocking realisation that a baby would be here soon when my waters broke