I am being bullied at work advice please

[sensiblesometimes]

Not sure this is the right thread .
Anyone have experience of this ?
I went to management who then broke my confidence going to the bully and telling them . She found me the following morning and gave veiled threats and intimidation.
now what do I do?
I feel managment betrayed my trust

This looks useful:
www.acas.org.uk/if-youre-treated-unfairly-at-work/being-bullied

Write down what happened this morning as accurately and objectively as you can - start keeping a log. If you are in a union, talk to them. Find out if your workplace has a bullying policy, and what it says if so.

@sensiblesometimes, it sounds like you’re in a horrible and unfair situation, I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
My advice would be to write everything down that has been happening, with dates and times, making note of any witnesses present, if there were any. You can either keep this on you, to bring to HR, or future meetings with management, or you can email it to HR/management once you’re comfortable with the wording (worth re-reading a few times to make sure). I would print or forward the emails to your personal address, with any replies, so that you have a record of them. It’s easy to brush aside someone’s complaint when verbal, but it’s harder to ignore them when they’re in black and white and your emails can be used as evidence, should any legal meetings take place in future.
I would also try to separate facts from personal feelings or opinions when talking to management. Of course, you’re emotionally involved, but again it’s harder for people to argue with facts about what happened. When talking to, or emailing management about the situation, you can say that you feel concerned that the person involved may have been told of your complaint, as their behaviour has worsened since you approached management, but that if they have been spoken to, no one has come back to you to confirm that they have and it worries you that things will get worse. Things like that. You can also ask for someone (a colleague, or person outside of your work) to attend meetings with you when you discuss your complaint and you can say this is to help you feel calmer and more supported. However, this can look like you’re taking legal action, so only use this, if you really need someone there with you.
I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel for you and that you’re able to have a positive outcome with either the bully leaving you alone, or being properly dealt with. Remember that outside of work, you can vent to family and friends and freely as you wish, so use them as a sounding board and for support. Good luck and keep us posted.

Write down every single thing that’s happening, dates times locations and log.

Speak to your HR team and agree ask to see the work place bullying policy if there is one.

I’d ask for a meeting with manager and HR rep if you have a hr team. If you think the manager is friends or conflict of interest you could speak to another manager even if they aren’t your line manager

Sorry your going through this

Ask her to put everything she says to you in writing. ‘Please could you repeat what you’ve just said’?
Them ask for her to email you what she repeated. I did this once after some advice from a friend who worked in law. Surprise, surprise it stopped within a couple of days!
Please stand up to this horrible person, if they think they’ll get away with it they’ll step up the anti.
I know it’s tough but you can do this, it’s an awful situation. Best of luck to you. 💐💐💐💐

You need to begin to keep a diary of all this if you aren't already. Every single detail matters - not just the 'gist' of what went on. I'm talking time of day, location, exact phrasing etc.

Management and moreover HR aren't necessarily going to be working in your best interest so whilst you feel burnt by them going to the bully and thus exacerbating the situation they don't really want a drawn out war in which they could potentially lose a legal complaint / tribunal if you raised one.

All that said, is it just between you and said bully - is it directly work related or more to do with personal clashes / differences? Is it also a huge organisation or a more 'local' set-up where the manager is also the HR, finance, project-lead and just about everything else?

I've always found headbutts quite effective 👍🏻

Been in this exact position. I'd also taken a log of all their horrid behaviour for months leading up to it. My wider team also made an official complaint and one resigned. It was clear however that this bully had the support of the senior management team (or something on them more like) and they refused to do anything about it.

I negotiated a leaving settlement with HR, I got 3 months full pay and I was happy with that.

They told her! omg.

It's a nightmare being bullied at work. Sending you strength.

Leave. Just get out of there.
Hope you find a job where people are not horrible.

its is a big organisation , I don't even know who HR is , bully threatened me personally

when he knew id been to management .
ive made brief logs , its time to step up my issues, as its not going away . really don't need this in my life right now ,who does 😑

Write a summary of the meeting with management. Add in your log, with the latest incident & send to HR requesting a meeting. At any meeting take notes because there will be veiled or overt attempts to minimise,fob you off etc . Send your notes as a'Summary' afterwards to those concerned, saying that for clarity you'd like to ensure there is an agreed account of what was said ( or agreed as actions going forward). You're in a better position then as they'll start realising you're building a case for a possible & expensive tribunal.

Keep your cellphone with you. If you are cornered or approached privately by the Bully, pull out your phone, start videotaping and say "Would you please repeat that? What did you mean by "I might not make it home some night if I ratted you out to the manager?" Either you will have evidence or you will scare him into backing off.

I’ve had this happen and it’s horrible.

It turned nasty.

I just left.

Are you in a Union? If not join one.

this is appalling ... OP is anyone supporting you 🌺

OP shout loudly, do not be quiet about this. I would go straight back to your manager and explain what has happened since and ask what action will be taken. Speak to colleagues about who the right person to speak to is and make sure you have a log of every little thing, the small things are often what paint the big picture.

Yes, this should not have happened, it’s retaliation. Do you have a policy against bullying at work that you could check or ask HR about? If it’s a big organisation then maybe you could check on your HR webpage. It sounds like your manager isn’t experienced with handling such issues or just incompetent. Also keep logs of any future meetings and confrontation, like a PP suggested just record it.

Jot everything down in bullet points in chronological order and email it to the manager plus HR

Did you ask the manager not to speak to the bully?
Are the threats violent?

I work in HR and sometimes people report bullying...but they don't want the manager to tell the bully or deal with it..and it's very difficult to approach the bully if the person who makes the accusation isn't willing to speak up ...as we would look to have a formal investigation.

Sometimes I know they're telling the truth and I so want the bully brought to task, but the victims are scared and I feel powerless. It's honestly made me want to leave my job because I felt helpless....and by a stroke of luck one victim got the courage to speak and I was delighted.

I've had lots of experience with workplace bullies.

Your employer has a duty of care for you. I can give you advice if you'd like to PM me. You shouldn't have to accept this at all.

As a manager I have recently dealt with a situation where bullying was taking place and the bullied did not want me to act for fear of reprisals. I took my duty of care and involved our HR team. It’s not OK or acceptable for this to continue.

If you have told your manger they must take an appropriate action. If their first action has not worked they must act using process. See your policy, may not be called bullying may be respect, diversity etc but it should advise next steps.