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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas mixing

4 replies

devilish · 25/11/2020 18:08

This is so difficult I’m stuck between doing the right thing over the Christmas period and being a “bad mum” or “the evil ex wife” so we are separated he has a gf that he lives with. He will pick our dd up on Boxing Day and spend the day with her ( the gf ) mum and dad that’s 2 house holds, they then intend on travelling to see his mum and his brother that’s another 2 house holds, so 4 in total and as we are all well aware u can only mix with 3 house holds so I have told him he is to drop dd off to me b4 he goes to his mums his response was “so u expect one of us to go without seeing our parents” and my reply was “well I have to go without seeing my family at Christmas also” I have no issue with him having our dd over Christmas, it’s got nothing to do with getting one up on him or anything like that as we are quite amicable most of the time, it’s simply the law this year and it bloody sucks for everyone but I’m being made to sound unreasonable and like I’m being out of order 🤷‍♀️ Also how long is it until he can have her on his normal weekends after getting back from mixing with more households ? Common sense would suggest 14 days as that’s how long u have to self isolate if u had come into contact with someone with Covid does that sound reasonable? Or he could get him self tested and have her sooner if negative but then would that be seen as unnecessary testing ?

OP posts:
KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 25/11/2020 18:10

Does his mum live alone? She could be in a support bubble with him then they only count as one household

devilish · 25/11/2020 18:12

No her support bubble is her sister the brother lives a over 2 hrs away

OP posts:
AlwaysLatte · 25/11/2020 18:16

It's really unfair when you unintentionally have to be exposed to that number of people (ie you don't get a choice obviously with children moving between homes). Especially if you are making sacrifices yourself.

KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 25/11/2020 20:20

I wouldn't be happy but assuming he has PR it's not your call. Your DC even following guidelines could be in two Christmas bubbles with a total of six households so they are
going to be a higher transmission risk

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