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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Child benefit fraud?

14 replies

Mooey89 · 25/11/2020 17:34

Long and boring story - ExH physically and emotionally abusive, have a son together age 7. Always pays his CM but always the bare minimum amount and the very first to report any changes, delay payments, pay back arrears at tiny amounts each month etc.
He has a daughter age 15 who lived with us (we’ve been split for 6.5 years!) when I moved out she stayed but spent most nights at grandparents or mums. He continued to claim child benefit for her and as a result his payments to me are reduced because technically he has a resident child, even though grandparents provided all material things, childcare etc.
Anyway. In lockdown, with the support of SS, DSD finally moved perminantly in with grandparents. SS were happy for this to continue on an informal basis so no special guardianship however she now hasn’t been living with exH since May and states she never wants to see him again.

I spoke to ex H because his income has increased significantly and his payments need to increase now DSD isn’t living there - by over £100 per month.
Annual review has come through and has increased based on his income but still 30% reduced because he’s listed as ‘receiving child benefit for resident child’.
ExH says he’s entitled to this because he’s ‘financially responsible for her’ (he’s not, never has been but definitely isn’t now) and it’s a ‘temporary arrangement’ (6 months). Address is changed for school etc and like I said, SS involved.
I’ve messaged child maintenance service but I expect that because he gets CB their decision will stand but it’s SO annoying.

AIBU to think this is fraud? And if so, would you leave it? Or report? Money is ok but we’re talking minimum of additional £50 per month and things are tight!

YANBu - fraud
YABU - he’s right, stay out of it.

OP posts:
funinthesun19 · 25/11/2020 18:01

I always thought either parent can claim the child benefit, and it doesn’t necessarily mean they have to live with the child. So although dsd is living with her grandparents, her dad can still claim for her if he’s paying towards her.

I might be wrong.

Mooey89 · 25/11/2020 18:07

He isn’t paying towards her though - there’s no contact and grandparents pay for it all. But the maintenance paid to me is reduced based on him having a resident child? If that makes sense

OP posts:
RandomMess · 25/11/2020 18:24

Really you need to ask the grandparents to put in a claim for her, but you can't make them...

TingTastic · 25/11/2020 18:28

Surely he should be paying maintenance for his daughter so your maintenance would remain the same either way?

Mooey89 · 25/11/2020 18:38

They won’t claim and he won’t pay them Maintence. They’re scared of him. I know it’s silly but it just feels like a principle thing.

OP posts:
iusedtohavechickens · 25/11/2020 18:40

Usually if ss are involved his money will stop after 6 weeks as if they have a care order the money then goes to the council?

Mooey89 · 25/11/2020 18:45

There isn’t a care order - it’s informal, she’s 15 and chose to move into grandparents full time. SS did an assessment but because both parents were happy with the arrangement it was left at that.

OP posts:
BoyTree · 25/11/2020 22:08

How frustrating. There are so many issues with the system that allows absent parents to waltz off into the sunset with resident parents considering themselves lucky if the NRP is paying enough for a bag of sweets a month while telling everyone that they are parent of the year!

This is a whole new frustrating layer of administrative annoyance to contend with. I imagine there's the will there for a fight from others who have experienced the same (depressingly, I'm sure you're not the only one!), but if you can't face it (and who could blame you!) then you can console yourself that your step-daughter has seen through his facade and maybe one day your son will appreciate how much you have done to make up for his dad's short-falls.

LemonSqueezy0 · 25/11/2020 22:17

Sorry to say, you probably get more for your child, with him claiming for another resident child. That reduction is minimal.
If he is reported and they take the CB away, he may realise that he can split the CMS between the two children, by being officially NRP for both SD and your child. They will take his monthly payment and split it between the two, depending on how much he sees both.. So he could say he has a private agreement with the grandparents, and doesn't ever see his daughter, and it sounds like they won't deny or go against anything he says..and actually that would be closer to the truth. Just frustrating that it may mean you lose out even more...

lyralalala · 25/11/2020 22:25

@LemonSqueezy0

Sorry to say, you probably get more for your child, with him claiming for another resident child. That reduction is minimal. If he is reported and they take the CB away, he may realise that he can split the CMS between the two children, by being officially NRP for both SD and your child. They will take his monthly payment and split it between the two, depending on how much he sees both.. So he could say he has a private agreement with the grandparents, and doesn't ever see his daughter, and it sounds like they won't deny or go against anything he says..and actually that would be closer to the truth. Just frustrating that it may mean you lose out even more...
I was coming on to post this. I got over £100 a month less for my girls once my ex and his wife split up and she put in a claim.

Every time they got back together after that they claimed it was temporary so they didn't have to change it.

Double check the calculator as if he's paying for two non-resident children as you may not get any more, and the will take his DD into account even if he's not actually handing his parents the money.

Fedupalways · 25/11/2020 22:29

My evil ex SIL was claiming child benefit even though the kids were not with her.
They told my brother he had to wait until the new tax year to put in a claim to be granted CB.
Didn't seem right at the time but she never got it taken off her until he puts his claim in.

ArnoldBee · 25/11/2020 22:36

As has been said it might be frustrating but actually you may be better off. The person who claims chb doesn't have to live with the child. It may be one of those things you need to think about being better off in the long term.

ArnoldBee · 25/11/2020 22:46

For example if blows up the following could happen:
Currently assessed to pay you £100.
You ask for re-assessment as no longer getting chb for DSD and changes to £150.
He asks CMS how this can be reduced and asks his parents to put claim in.
CMS still assesses he can pay £150 but it is now split £75 to you £75 to his parents. He asks his parents to do direct pay and he never pays them but pays you £75. You are now £25 or £50 worse off than you were and he's sitting pretty saving his £75 per month whilst screwing you over at the same time.
You only need to wait until DSD is 19...

Mooey89 · 26/11/2020 06:32

This is something I hadn’t even considered. Thank you so much. The system really is a joke!

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