... to tell you that diets don't work for everyone

[Wroxie]

Today is my 9 month anniversary of tracking every bite of food that's gone into my mouth, with the exception noted below:

My birthday (one day in which I had, as I remember, pancakes with maple syrup for breakfast, no lunch, and fish and chips + a couple of donuts for dinner).

And that's it. I don't drink alcohol. No takeaways. No restaurants. Nothing that I didn't weigh, portion, and track faithfully. Even when I bake or make something from a recipe, every ingredient is weighed and the calories per serving calculated. I skip breakfast during the week and have normal, healthy food and smallish portions for lunch and dinner.

I eat, on average, 1,100 calories per day. I have a desk job but I walk for 30 minutes to an hour nearly every day.

Before this, my diet was pretty bad - takeaways 3-4 times per week, pastries for breakfast, sandwich with crisps and chocolate at lunch, biscuits whenever I felt like it- probably more than 2,500 calories most days (I'm 5'3" so that is A LOT).

And now, nine months later, I have gone from 13 stone to 12.3 stone. That's a grand total of ten pounds lost on an extremely restricted diet- and it was all within the first two months.

Please don't give me diet advice - no, I'm not in 'starvation mode' (because that's a complete myth). No, I don't need to 'cut carbs'. Seriously, I do not want your advice. What I want is to point out that, the next time you're tempted to say something asinine like 'it's just about calories in vs calories out' or to dismiss or vilify or judge someone based on their weight, to realise that the human body is not a two-stroke lawnmower engine and weight, food, activity, hormones, age, genes, and a million other factors are at play. Losing weight isn't simple and even with all the willpower in the world - which I have demonstrated - it isn't always possible.

I'm not giving up. I have gotten used to eating this way and I actually feel like my blood sugar is more regulated (no 'sinking feeling' a few hours after eating a big lunch, for example) and I know that as I get older, it will be better to, at the very least, not get any fatter. That, at least, I can probably do. But nothing short of eating less than 1000 calories per day or surgery or medication are going to get me to a 'normal' BMI.

ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble I don’t leave the home to exercise in the morning, you don’t have to. I’ve done 40 minutes HIIT cardio , showered and have had my morning coffee by 7:30.

@ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble

I treasure my sleep too much to do anything in the morning, which I hide behind the fact that OH leaves at 5 or 6(depending on site) and I can't leave DD home alone to do it. I do go for a daily walk every lunchtime , unless it's absolutely pissing down.

that's absolutely fine, why wouldn't it. It's all down to priorities.

As long as you are not being a dick like previous posters who pretend being slim and fit is all down to random "luck" and it makes people smug.

It's not being "lucky" to force yourself out of bed at 5 or 5:30 most morning to squeeze some exercise when it's cold, dark and pissing with rain outside.

I have friends who exercise inside, or even in the garage because they feel unsafe on their own so early in the morning. If you WANT to do something, you can. If you want to find excuses, it's easy to. Another friend of mine is starting a zoom class in 30 minutes because many people are full of enthusiasm on Sunday night

I’ve done 40 minutes HIIT cardio

in fairness, it's easier when you live in a house than a flat!

@NoPainNoTartine

I’ve done 40 minutes HIIT cardio

in fairness, it's easier when you live in a house than a flat!

As it happens I do live in a flat. A one bedroom one too.

I don't think any of the people putting the work in(whatever form it takes , exercise, counting every single morsel,dieting,a mix of everything) is "lucky" be they skinny or previously overweight /actively losing quite a lot.

What bugs me is when people see just the fat and think there's no effort being put in at all or when pointed out,they dismiss it because it's "too little". If for example you previously never walked at all , a daily walk or doing 10k steps from 2k or whatever is a positive change and a step forward even if it doesn't necessarily show on you or the scales.

I think that remaining slim is mostly quite hard work (lots of micro decisions about food and exercise), it takes quite a bit of effort, esp once you get older!

Nobody says it’s easy. If it was easy, everyone would be slim

What bugs me is when people see just the fat and think there's no effort being put in at all or when pointed out,they dismiss it because it's "too little". If for example you previously never walked at all , a daily walk or doing 10k steps from 2k or whatever is a positive change and a step forward even if it doesn't necessarily show on you or the scales.

ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble, I used to chuckle to myself. I really didn't look the part! Practically bald, grey, overweight, middle aged woman. But little did they know...I felt a bit like a secret Viking or something! I was building up gradually getting myself used to cold baths, running everyday, although very slowly initially, doing exercises for strength and flexibility. Slowly but surely I made progress and surprised them all!

lots of micro decisions about food and exercise)

Micro decisions is a very good way of putting it. No one would know if they looked at my plate that I have carefully portioned it. I know now how much to have of each food type. I The running , walking and resistance exercises are now part of my routine. I like doing it all. If I have to miss a day, I don't feel guilty, I actually miss it because I positively enjoy all the exercise now and look forward to doing them whenever I can which is usually everyday.

Micro-decisions become macro decisions when you do enough of them for long enough. Like mixing up cycling and walking for my commute. Making time for resistance workouts 3x a week.
A chin up bar to crank out a few reps in passing
No sugar in coffee

Also, one thing I am getting is that many women have a weak mind body connection. Rather than worrying about weight and skill have any of you actually tried to see what you CAN do not can't do. It is a tragedy to go to your grave not knowing what you were physically capable of.

@namochangoro

What bugs me is when people see just the fat and think there's no effort being put in at all or when pointed out,they dismiss it because it's "too little". If for example you previously never walked at all , a daily walk or doing 10k steps from 2k or whatever is a positive change and a step forward even if it doesn't necessarily show on you or the scales.

ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble, I used to chuckle to myself. I really didn't look the part! Practically bald, grey, overweight, middle aged woman. But little did they know...I felt a bit like a secret Viking or something! I was building up gradually getting myself used to cold baths, running everyday, although very slowly initially, doing exercises for strength and flexibility. Slowly but surely I made progress and surprised them all!

What do you mean 'surprised them all'? How? did you suddenly run a marathon? You can't have 'all of a sudden' lost fat and grown hair overnight and surprised them.

damnthatanxiety, well I did. And I don't think I've done badly. When my sciatica was bad, and when I was undergoing cancer treatment there were days I couldn't even walk very far. Now I run 10k everyday. Yes, people were presently surprised, including my doctors. Not everyone needs to run a marathon to surprise people.

Pleasantly not presently.

@SchrodingersImmigrant The backpack analogy is unfortunately correct. I cycle long distances and have gone from being underweight to mid healthy range to conceive and it is just like carrying a heavy bag with me. My fitness is gradually adjusting but extra weight definitely makes it harder. That is why so many cyclists have eating disorders and the men have wasted upper bodies.

Also, diet is more important than exercise for weight gain or loss. Asking overweight people to humiliate themselves running in public or the gym is counter productive. They will hate it because they know there are mean judgemental people looking at them and they will still have to go hungry to shift the weight. Walking is fine. Accepting your body is also fine- being slightly overweight doesn't carry much risk.

Asking overweight people to humiliate themselves running in public or the gym is counter productive. They will hate it because they know there are mean judgemental people looking at them and they will still have to go hungry to shift the weight.

This attitude is so wrong. Why shouldn't overweight people be running or go to a gym if they can do so? Everyone should be able to have access to exercise! They need their strength, mobility and fitness as much as anyone else. Plenty of overweight people run and go to gyms. Running and exercising in a gym doesn't humiliate overweight people, other people humiliate overweight people! And this attitude needs to stop!

I was overweight and ran. I got to the point where I thought 'Sod it!' And in fact the people I saw early in the morning when I went were on the whole smiley and very nice. But why shouldn't they be? I've as much right to be there as them.

@Pikachubaby

I think that remaining slim is mostly quite hard work (lots of micro decisions about food and exercise), it takes quite a bit of effort, esp once you get older!

Nobody says it’s easy. If it was easy, everyone would be slim

Staying slim isn't hard at all. It really boils down to not being lazy, in terms of both exercise and food preparation.

The majority of people did used to be slim. Then ready meals, processed foods, cars, electrical house appliances, cheap red meat etc happened.

OP knows it all... but can loose weight.

@namochangoro I agree they shouldn't be embarrassed, I love exercise and I wish everyone could too, but you can see even from the attitude of some posters on this forum that people do judge fat people.

I'm naturally small but I don't consider being slim in any way an achievement or anything to look up to. Similarly I don't judge fat people. Even my cousin who just loves nice food and is an amazing cook and is very fat- if that's what he wants to do that's fine by me.

It is an unfortunate fact that some people do consider their slimness as something to be proud of and to look down on other people for.

Just wanted to say I agree with you OP - it is perfectly possible to eat lower calories than the usual forecast for your height/weight and not lose anything - I did this for a couple of years after having my son, and had to comfort myself that at least I wasn't gaining, though I was stuck several pounds heavier than before he was born. Then I quit breastfeeding and oh my word, I dropped weight like it was going out of fashion, it was amazing. I hadn't changed my diet or anything but I got to a point where I looked in the mirror and was horrified because I was actually scrawny, and alas, not in a cheek-bony, Calvin Klein model way. It balanced out after a few months (I may have panic eaten to assist the process!) but the rapid weight loss had little to do with what I ate at the time or any exercise regime - just wanted to say that your body is quite capable of making its own decisions as to fat retention or otherwise, and from my experience you don't get any say in it while the hormones are in charge.

I'm naturally small but I don't consider being slim in any way an achievement or anything to look up to. Similarly I don't judge fat people. Even my cousin who just loves nice food and is an amazing cook and is very fat- if that's what he wants to do that's fine by me.

It is an unfortunate fact that some people do consider their slimness as something to be proud of and to look down on other people for.

TrailingLobelias, well I not naturally small. I've been bigger, overweight and smaller at the bottom of a healthy BMI. Years being both. Working at being slimmer is an achievement, of sorts, when you have to work out how you are going to lose weight. It does take time, dedication and consistency. It doesn't happen by accident but as habits form and the activities become a valued part of life it can become easier. I don't look down on fat people but I know only too well, the health risks. I started suffering from very debilitating, painful sciatica and contracted breast cancer when I was overweight. I know people who developed type 2 diabetes and arthritis. None of these health conditions are pleasant. It is worth doing what you can to stay fit and healthy. And I feel desperately sad for people who don't feel the effort is worth it and hope they don't regret their decision later on.

There are so many more benefits other than losing weight as you have pointed out- mental health, more energy, better immune defence, live longer.

We all have a set point. That's that.

My best advice I would give and I know you asked not to be given any would be to see your GP or Nutritionist, or even get a test at home kit to check your Thyroid levels and check for any other issues.. as others have said 1100kcal is a very low amount.

Diets do work and I get not every diet works for everyone, but it may just not be the right one for you, its not a one glove fits all aaproach with diets.

I for instance swear by the Low Carb / Keto diet and I know that seems to be what everyone is saying at the moment, but its the only diet I get on with because I can eat as much as I want to a degree as long as its mega low carbs, under 50g a day.. I suffer from low B12 levels, and I tend to eat too much carbs / sugar on a normal diet when I feel tired, the Keto diets means I can't go near them so it makes me be strict

Your body will always loose a bit of weight in the first month thats your glucose reserves being used up, it depletes a lot of your fluid and the first 6lbs are often just fluid im afriad..

I would recommend low carb diets but they arn't something you should be on permanently. You can even get decent keto snacks, bread and cereal from places like www.amazon.com or www.carbfreezone.com

I hope something works out..

Well you've cut calories but you need to exercise more. I took ages losing my baby weight despite tracking everything I ate like you. It wasn't until I came back to work (as a nurse do active job) and go to the gym every week I've lost the rest really quickly.

Come over to the Why We Eat (Too Much) thread.

It's just no sugar and no processed food and everyone is losing weight easily.

I've lost 6lb in 3 weeks which is extremely unusual for me as on any diet I've tried it's been painful to lose that in 3 months.

I have no cravings, not feeling hungry and my food is lovely. It's worth a try.

I do realise I sound like a cult member but it really is good.

@Eckhart

Wroxie has left the thread, refusing to learn any more than she knew when she started the thread, and bitter because nothing is changing for her. It's almost poetic

Morgan Freeman voice over is how I read that