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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else have no fucker who wants to bubble with them over Christmas?

336 replies

EleanorRising · 25/11/2020 09:43

Grin

We live a couple of hours drive away from both our families but there and back in a day is doable.

Text from FIL: "love you all, not meeting up with anyone til vaccinated against this bugger. Will transfer £££. See you on the other side"

Text from MIL (they're divorced) "Jeff and Joan are bubbling with us and bringing Joan's mum so that's our bubble sorted. Easter's looking promising though"

My sisters will spend Xmas day with their in-laws so that's their bubble for the 5 days.

Anyone else not been inundated with requests?

OP posts:
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 25/11/2020 11:55

I love the FIL text and we are taking the same stance. Not worth the risk to catch/spread the virus for the sake of one Christmas. All future Christmases would be ruined going forward if anything happened as would be tainted with the memory.

spiderlight · 25/11/2020 11:58

I don't have any family left and DH's dad is highly, highly vulnerable and is still shielding. They live about three hours away. We normally go down to them on the 27th and have a big family Christmas #2 with DH's brothers and their families, which is usually the only time DS gets to see all his cousins together. It won't be happening this year because FIL is so vulnerable. My best friend is also highly vulnerable and shielding, so while we might if we're lucky get to see her and her son outside, socially distanced, that'll be it for us. All our other local friends will be in bubbles with their families.

LandOfTheSpiders · 25/11/2020 12:03

I love your FIL's text.

My FIL could be classed as vulnerable, late 60s with asthma but doesn't consider themselves to be. They will want to do a big event, as they aren't worried about catching it all. We're sticking to outside meet-ups as in high covid area and it is rife in the local schools. I'm nagging my DH to politely tell them before they start making plans... It will help them too, as it means my BIL can see his family too. I'd rather have a small Christmas and wait for the vaccine.

16purplecolour16 · 25/11/2020 12:06

Form an orderly queue. 😂

nzborn · 25/11/2020 12:07

l find it surprising that these messages are via text and not a phone call or zoom.

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 25/11/2020 12:12

@nzborn
Why? I cant remember the last time I had an actual phone call with someone. Everything is text and whatsapp. The only reason I broke down and used zoom was to talk to a friend in California.
When you just want to say something, a text is fine. The other person can reply when they are free to do so. A phone call is more intrusive as you're demanding their attention right there and then.

What is so odd about that?

Oilyoilyoilgob · 25/11/2020 12:14

Love both texts-straight to the point, no fluff or bullshit. Excellent work!

knittingaddict · 25/11/2020 12:26

In theory I could see one of my daughters and her children (they are in our bubble), my parents and my brother and his family. We won't do it because the risks are too high for us. My parents are in their mid to late 80's and in poor health and our grandchildren are in school and daughter works in a warehouse at the moment.

We will just have a Christmas with those already in our bubble, our daughter and grandchildren.

We won't see our other daughter because she is spending Christmas with her partner's family and that will use up her 3 households. They were with us last year, so it's only fair. Daughter lives in an area which I think will be a tier three. I'm a bit sad, but sanguine about it. It's just one year.

knittingaddict · 25/11/2020 12:27

I forgot to say that I like the fil's text. Straight to the point with no awkward excuses. My kind of human.

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 25/11/2020 12:28

OP...my toxic aunt is in the same position.
Buying her a train ticket to yours.
Happy Christmas Smile

ThatsMeChickenArm · 25/11/2020 12:36

People have spent Christmasses on troop ships, in Anderson shelters and in jail as well as far worse situations. Make sure the alcohol is in and plenty of food. Get the telly on and light a candle to whatever uplifts you and have this one Christmas saving yourself and others from the possibility of harm. It's just Christmas, not the slaughter of the first born.

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 25/11/2020 12:39

"If Joan’s mum is already in a bubble with them she counts as part of their household so you MIL would have room for you too."

There's no mixing of bubbles. You need to be faithful to your bubble. No cheating on the bubble! Also households can't split themselves between different bubbles. Once one person from a household forms a bubble with another household that's the whole of the 2 households bubbled, unless the first bubbling household member remains with their newly formed bubble.... Like a venn diagram I guess... but then they will maybe need to return to their original household??? or Oh I don't know.

Right, for example. I am single. 17 year old son. Who is currently stayed 30 odd miles away most of the time as he is doing an apprenticeship so simpler and safer if he stays with them. I am in a support bubble with my parents as dad is currently stuck in bed and they often need hands-on support. So - support bubble counts as one household (I saw this on the news) So - as I see it we have room for one more household. My sister is planning on being with us Christmas Day. So that is our bubble complete. Ooh. Except that sister isn't my parents' support bubble as that is me. You can only have 2 households in a support bubble. So if she joins us on Christmas day that is technically 4 households - too many for her bubble. Or do me and my parents still count as one HH in terms of her bubble..... Then. Sister is married with two children. One lives away and I would have thought would like to be home for Christmas. Their daughter lives at home. Sister's wife and daughter are off to spend Christmas day with sister's wife's mum... Ooh my brain hurts. So. I don't think that's sticking to strict bubble-protocol...

JovialNickname · 25/11/2020 12:43

Me, I'm alone and haven't had anyone to bubble with since this all started, nor will I have anyone to bubble with over Christmas. Although I'm pleased for everyone else, I'm dreading it, I'm always on my own Christmas but this is going to be way worse. Every single TV channel is going to be full of tearful gushing "reunited after 9 months" type blurb, they'll be no getting away from the slushy sentimentality. Plus there's then the bonus of a probable January lockdown to make up for the company and fun I didn't have, yay Smile

ClaireP20 · 25/11/2020 12:43

@User56770987

Lucky you Grin Enjoy Christmas in your pyjamas.
Exactly!xx
bakereld · 25/11/2020 12:44

Myself and immediate family are taking same stance as your FIL. Not bubbling with anyone this Xmas, not worth the risk.

ClaireP20 · 25/11/2020 12:45

@Dontfuckingsaycheese

"If Joan’s mum is already in a bubble with them she counts as part of their household so you MIL would have room for you too."

There's no mixing of bubbles. You need to be faithful to your bubble. No cheating on the bubble! Also households can't split themselves between different bubbles. Once one person from a household forms a bubble with another household that's the whole of the 2 households bubbled, unless the first bubbling household member remains with their newly formed bubble.... Like a venn diagram I guess... but then they will maybe need to return to their original household??? or Oh I don't know.

Right, for example. I am single. 17 year old son. Who is currently stayed 30 odd miles away most of the time as he is doing an apprenticeship so simpler and safer if he stays with them. I am in a support bubble with my parents as dad is currently stuck in bed and they often need hands-on support. So - support bubble counts as one household (I saw this on the news) So - as I see it we have room for one more household. My sister is planning on being with us Christmas Day. So that is our bubble complete. Ooh. Except that sister isn't my parents' support bubble as that is me. You can only have 2 households in a support bubble. So if she joins us on Christmas day that is technically 4 households - too many for her bubble. Or do me and my parents still count as one HH in terms of her bubble..... Then. Sister is married with two children. One lives away and I would have thought would like to be home for Christmas. Their daughter lives at home. Sister's wife and daughter are off to spend Christmas day with sister's wife's mum... Ooh my brain hurts. So. I don't think that's sticking to strict bubble-protocol...

You will count as one bubble - you and your parents. So if you see your sister you still count as one bubble x
mam0918 · 25/11/2020 12:45

We never go anywhere anyway so it doesnt effect us but no no one offered (I'm guessing because everyone already knows we have no wish to leave our home).

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 25/11/2020 12:46

Right. I have decided. This bubbling business is too messy. What if every person has, say, a budget of 6 people only. When that is up. NO more.If you are a permanent household of 6 or more.That is ok. But that is your lot.

Also. Bubble offsetting. Could that be a think. You honestly know that one HH is not bubbling with a single other person then you could have 2 HHs from their budget for your bubble??

IntermittentParps · 25/11/2020 12:46

I haven't had the conversation with either parent and imagine we're all assuming no meeting up: a) I don't generally visit either of them for Christmas anyway and b) they're both vulnerable so why would I go and sit in a room with them for four days, pass food around, cough and sneeze etc.

Newuser991 · 25/11/2020 12:48

I have the opposite problem

Every year I wish family would leave me alone. I hate Christmas. I never get anything but the bill for Christmas and that is probably why people want to see me.

Every year I get dragged in to Christmas. It will happen this year again. I'd love to spend it alone

nosswith · 25/11/2020 12:56

Hopefully all of the useless government have had no offers.

dalmatianmad · 25/11/2020 12:56

Love your FIL Smile

I'm an A+E sister and would never forgive myself if I passed the virus on to anyone so its just me, dp and the kids. I've barely seen any family since March.

I've got a 12 hour night shift Christmas day and the 2 nights after so I'm glad we don't have to see anyone. All my time and effort will be poured into work this year looking after the poor buggers that will be dying of this awful virus 😢

LazyName · 25/11/2020 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HollowTalk · 25/11/2020 12:59

Why do you get the bill, @Newuser991? If you're paying for people, surely you have the say on who gets invited?

Lovemusic33 · 25/11/2020 13:03

Single parent here with 2 autistic children, no one wants to bubble with us 🤣, luckily my children are not sociable and would rather hide at home for 5 days anyway so it’s kind of a win win for them.