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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else have no fucker who wants to bubble with them over Christmas?

336 replies

EleanorRising · 25/11/2020 09:43

Grin

We live a couple of hours drive away from both our families but there and back in a day is doable.

Text from FIL: "love you all, not meeting up with anyone til vaccinated against this bugger. Will transfer £££. See you on the other side"

Text from MIL (they're divorced) "Jeff and Joan are bubbling with us and bringing Joan's mum so that's our bubble sorted. Easter's looking promising though"

My sisters will spend Xmas day with their in-laws so that's their bubble for the 5 days.

Anyone else not been inundated with requests?

OP posts:
WhenPushComesToShove · 26/11/2020 18:45

I'm secretly pleased no extras are coming to join us as it will be the easiest, most relaxed Christmas in living memory

Frequency · 26/11/2020 18:48

I'm a care worker and there's been recent cases of Covid in the home I work in so the only person who wants to bubble with me is my ex-H who still attempts to be controlling Hmm

I'm sorely tempted to send him a picture of me licking door handles in the home Grin

@GertieBassett I know at least two people personally and know of more second hand from other carers (carers, relatives of carers and residents)who have died of Covid, so, no, it's not 'just the flu'.

NooNoo1979 · 26/11/2020 18:49

It’s my daughters year to be with her dad so I’ll be alone but it is what it is .... there’ll be other (hopefully less risky) years ahead to enjoy (pretend to enjoy) a family Christmas Grin

Mummadeeze · 26/11/2020 18:50

No, it will be just us. I invited a friend who is spending Christmas alone and even she said no! I don’t mind though. I miss my family but am mainly looking forward to time off work!

paganbilly · 26/11/2020 18:51

Me. It'll just be me and the DC again. Well one of the DC, the other has informed me that they have had a better offer for xmas day.

jules0607 · 26/11/2020 18:54

do you live alone? if not, no problem. i live alone & not in a bubble - not a problem for me. go for walks in the park & meet friends & family there. christmas day'll be fine too. don't get your concern at all.

mamabears3 · 26/11/2020 18:56

SIngle mum and nurse so nobody wants to come near me - EVER ! Parents usually go to sibling who has big house / lots money and it’s always kids and I alone. I feel sad for them and it’s lonely for me but this year everyone staying in own homes. We don’t want the children making older family members sick !

GertieBassett · 26/11/2020 18:57

I'm sorry for your loss..
But would those people have died of Flu regardless?
Are they elderly? Have medical issues? I apologise if I come across as blunt/insensitive but I live in what's regarded as a high Tier and I and many people I know have not met anyone that's had covid or covid symptoms.. But I do know 2 people that have died of cancer due to the government putting Covid first 😔

BatleyTownswomensGuild · 26/11/2020 18:58

Yep. In-laws staying shielded, my brother staying shielded. SIL bubbling with her in-laws.

Logical me totally understands the reasoning behind it. But It's a bit effing lonely tbh....

Frequency · 26/11/2020 19:03

The most recent one we were all surprised that she didn't survive Covid. She was relatively young (late 60's), no major underlying health conditions and seemingly fit and healthy other than a minor, treatable ailment when she was admitted to hospital where she caught Covid. I don't believe a normal flu would have killed her.

The carer I know of who died was in her late thirties. She had a heart condition but not one that would have killed her. I'd assume since she was a carer and had been since her early twenties she would have survived flu many times over.

Others, sure, flu may have killed them due to their age but not as brutally as Covid did. It is not 'just flu' and anyone who thinks it is needs to educate themselves.

Ddot · 26/11/2020 19:08

Liquid dinner, heated blanket, chocolate, sorted

EachandEveryone · 26/11/2020 19:19

Im in London, im a nurse and have it off this year which is rare. My mother and her dp up in Yorkshire have hinted that they dont want me going up there to stay with them. My mother hates havings guests so I think it quite suits her 😃 my sister has two dc coming home from uni so really isnt sure whether she can go to my mums either! Its all abit confusing.

oblada · 26/11/2020 19:23

We're hoping for my parents + brother, SIL and nephew to come over and stay with us. As long as the flights are on, they will be on them. Quarantine doesn't bother any of us. The bubble rules don't really impact on us as they are effectively part of our household once they are in the UK. It would be a bit sad to have Xmas on our own to be honest.
Normally we would have travelled to them as last year they came to us, but due to personal circumstances (nothing to do with covid) we cannot do that this year.

Some friends (support bubble) may want to come over but not sure as yet.

I'll be honest I'm not sure we would follow the bubble rules if we were all in the UK.

Defenbaker · 26/11/2020 19:27

Me and DH have been discussing this today. MIL (86) is in our bubble, but has been very cautious throughout this year so has mixed feelings about whether to join us on the day or not. It seems a bit risky to be indoors with her for hours (especially as she feels the cold so won't want doors and windows being open for ventilation). I think cases may well spike again in mid January, after all the households mixing at Christmas, so it would be a really bad time to catch the virus.

So, not wanting MIL to fall at the final hurdle, chances are we will visit her on the day, exchange gifts and spend an hour or two with her, while wearing masks and keeping our distance. Once she's had her jabs then we'll have her over for a vaccination celebration dinner late January. Smile

RiverCrossing · 26/11/2020 19:29

I know. I think it’s hard because I have always been fiercely independent, so perhaps they think I won’t mind and I’ll be alright, I imagine they just think I’ll crack on because it’s 2020 and we are all doing that. My parents won’t negotiate on seeing their grandson (brothers child) over Christmas. On the flip side, I just want one of them to ask how I actually feel rather than assuming I am always wearing my big girl pants!

Downton57 · 26/11/2020 19:30

@GertieBassett my daughter works in a Covid ward and it has been extremely busy in recent months. Just because you and your circle have been unaffected does not mean it's not real. Thousands of people worldwide have died who would have and should have had years of life ahead of them. This virus isn't anything like flu and only somebody who hasn't done any research would still be claiming that. Educate yourself, protect yourself and don't you dare tell people who may have lost loved ones or who are risking their lives working in Covid wards that they need to get a grip.

movingonup20 · 26/11/2020 19:31

I would prefer not to have the dilemma to be honest. I'm dealing with university students who want to see both their parents (not unreasonable) and tier 3

GertieBassett · 26/11/2020 19:43

[quote Downton57]@GertieBassett my daughter works in a Covid ward and it has been extremely busy in recent months. Just because you and your circle have been unaffected does not mean it's not real. Thousands of people worldwide have died who would have and should have had years of life ahead of them. This virus isn't anything like flu and only somebody who hasn't done any research would still be claiming that. Educate yourself, protect yourself and don't you dare tell people who may have lost loved ones or who are risking their lives working in Covid wards that they need to get a grip.[/quote]
And dont you bloody dare have a go at me! Not once did I say that anyone who died of Covid should get a grip. I was saying it to the people who are scaremongering.
Yes, it kills people but so does the Flu!
You educate yourself!

Sprocket1 · 26/11/2020 19:59

Yes ,we are my 91 year old Mum lives with my sister and they are all bubbling together 3 households ( she has 2 daughters) and I feel totally left out Especially as I’ve hosted Christmas most years with usually 14 of us . So it will be 4 of us DH & 2 Dc.

kayteep · 26/11/2020 20:02

I’d love to bubble with my mum & stepdad as only seen them twice this year but I think they will decide to stay at home, they live 2 hours away in a low risk area compared to us in a high risk area. My mum refusing to commit at the moment. I think my MIL would love to bubble with us but it hasn’t been discussed yet however she is what we consider to be high risk. Hubby works in a care home so he can’t put himself at risk.

Dipi79 · 26/11/2020 20:06

No family or partner. Friends all with their families. It's just me, my twin toddlers and 2 cats. No fuss, no drama; bliss. ✌️

Downton57 · 26/11/2020 20:06

@GertieBassett There are vaccines available for flu. The people on this thread are talking about their worries about spending Christmas with elderly vulnerable relatives, before any Covid vaccine becomes available. Nobody is scaremongering. They're being sensible.

Tomasinabombadil · 26/11/2020 20:11

I’ll be on my own this Christmas, I don’t have any family at all.
I usually visit and stay with friends 2 hours drive away for 2-3 days and have done so for many years, there is generally 12+ of us staying. Not this year though because I’m not in their bubble and they’ll have to limit how many family members they can have.

Janus · 26/11/2020 20:14

@RiverCrossing I’m so sorry, that is shit of people to not think this is the year you need a bit of looking after. Flowers

DaphneduWarrior · 26/11/2020 20:19

@TheDowagerDuchess

I do worry this Christmas about people who will be all alone. The whole bubbles system does seem to have an element of “chosen first / last in PE” about it. Only what you’d expect from the sort of govt I guess.

I’m a single parent and have made my parents my bubble throughout, so they’re going to have to take us Grin

I can imagine if I had a lovely partner really relishing the idea of a Christmas as a little family though.

Thank you for your message and for thinking of those of us who’ll be alone, even though you won’t. I’ll be alone this Xmas as I’ve been all year, and I’m dreading it. Really worried about how my mh will be as a result. I know it’s only one day (or two weeks!) but as a pp said, tv and social media will be full of mini reunions Sad I feel so sad and such a failure thinking about it all.