To be annoyed by the work feedback situation?

[Yogibear13]

I work for a large multinational company and have been there less than a year so this is the first time I've gone through this feedback/annual review process.
As part of it, we must give and receive feedback from various people we work with. This includes providing feedback about our direct managers. This feedback is not anonymous and will go directly to my manager, and her manager.
As it happens, I really do not like my manager. She is someone who I think is good at the actual job we all do, but should never have been given any people managing responsibilities. She's awful at it, and that's what I need to give feedback on. I cannot realistically give honest negative feedback in this process, even if I phrased it more diplomatically than "she's awful at it" which of course I would.
This feedback is seen by my manager and her manager and stays on her record and will contribute to any bonus she gets, plus will reinforce any ideas she has about what a good manager she is. I also don't want to give her manager the impression she's doing a great job but because of her personality, even if she technically cannot treat someone differently due to feedback they give, she definitely would.
AIBU to think non-anonymous upward feedback is ridiculous and just a way for managers to pat themselves on the back over their good work, and their good choices in promotions?

YABU - anonymous feedback would allow you to just let rip upon her with no risk of comeback, there would be no incentive for you to be constructive or even honest and would allow your personal dislike of her to show.

If you're not willing to put your name to what you write, you probably shouldn't be writing it. By gathering feedback in this way they are forcing you to think about what you say - and it sounds like it is working.

I think it is unreasonable to tell you to give upwards feedback. There should be an opportunity to do so, but by saying this is something you have to do, they are putting you in a very difficult situation.

You have three several options: refuse to give feedback, give feedback and lie, give feedback and fudge it, give feedback and tell the truth.

It’s hard to advise you because I don’t know your workplace managers.

You have to frame it constructively. What is she bad it?
For example, rather than saying 'she sets unrealistic expectations with no support' you can say 'it would be beneficial if we could work together to set clear goals and expectations on projects which would benefit the team and result in quicker outcomes' etc

Presumably a very good manager would be getting comments like "so supportive", "her delegation has been very helpful to my progress", "an inspirational manager" and the like. If your manager doesn't get any such comments that will speak volumes to those assessing her.

You can raise some of your issues without saying she's a terrible manager by using terms like "more feedback would be beneficial to me", "I'd welcome more support in the area of X", etc. Personally, I'd limit the number of issues I raise to two or three - don't forget this will also be a reflection on you; your ability to cope with difficult people will be evidenced here.

Best of luck in a difficult situation.

@contrmary hmm I see what you mean, I hadn’t really thought of it like that. but I wouldn’t “let rip” in anonymous feedback. What you’ve said is great in an ideal world, but certain personalities are never going to take well to negative feedback, and I really feel like my manager is like that. I’ve had managers in the past where this sort of system would be fine, they’d take on board any constructive criticism and it wouldn’t be an issue. That’s just not the impression I get of this manager at all.
Obviously I will think carefully about what I write, but I’d have done that anyway, only now I’m thinking carefully about the added dimension of how to write it in a way that won’t negatively affect my career. Isn’t that a key reason why employee feedback on various surveys is generally anonymous?

Absolutely agree with others that you can give feedback to address the issues you are experiencing if you frame it in a constructive way. You need to spend time thinking about what you want to see happen and change. Make it about you- I’m having issues when....I find it difficult when....another tool is to think about stop, start and continue: what do you need her to start doing, what do you need her to stop doing, what do you need her to continue to do ( try to find 1 or 2 things she does do well that you can add to make it balanced).
I had a boss that was a bully...I sent a note to HR saying that I was having a lot of difficulty interacting with my boss and that I was struggling to see what was going wrong between us, and I needed help. I asked them to attend as observers in my 1 on1 meeting with my boss to help me ( didn’t say anything about him at all) . Net result was within 1 month we were assigned an external coach to work through issues with both of us..my boss massively improved as it was obviously he had rubbish interpersonal skills. 🤣

Also, make it specific and factual. Give examples in form of STAR ..what was the Situation, what was the Task, what Action did you.your boss take...and what was Result (how did that impact you), find at least 2 STARS for any feedback that is about changes you need. Keep it factual.

Sorry, one last thing🤣🤣🤣🤣
To make it constructive ALWAYS come up with a solution to resolve...don’t just present a litany of problems..

In these situations, it isn’t always compulsory for you to provide the feedback. I have to do similar and there is a ‘decline’ button... which can speak volumes in itself.
However if you do give feedback it can be an opportunity to improve the problems... rather than saying ‘ you are great at your job but aren’t a great people manager’... mention an aspect of it which needs work eg communication style, delegating workload, responsiveness, conflict resolution, and as PP said talk about how it would improve things if there were changes. Also use the ‘strengths’ section to balance it out and try to give a specific and consistent example and not ‘this one time you didn’t do xyz’.

That’s really crap from your employer

In the big company I work for we periodically get asked to give feedback for our direct manager but it’s always anonymous. I’m sure it’s sometimes possible to identify individuals based on specific things they refer to, or even just on the writing style if the manager knows them well, but at least there’s the expectation of it being anonymous so not held against anybody.

Can you opt out of providing feedback? Let the silence speak volumes as it were!