How to let go of the guilt?

[MoonShot]

I went to the GP in August about something and was fobbed off. I knew I was being fobbed off at the time but it was easier just to believe whar they said. Since then the problem has become much worse. I went to see a different GP last week. Resulting in an urgent 2 week wait referal to hospital. If my diagnosis turns out to be my worse nightmare how do I cope with knowing that I ignored it for months? I have 2 children and I'm really scared/ angry with myself.

The doctor shouldn't have fobbed you off - I get it that it can be really hard to say no or to drop something when someone with authority on it has waved you away, many people would do the same as most people worry about being seen as a 'pain' or 'timewaster'. Shame is a powerful emotion and the first Dr shouldn't have made you doubt your own feelings, please don't feel guilty.

But what if just to avoid shame I end up being taken away from my children way too soon? They deserved a mother who stood up for herself. I know I don't know my diagnosis yet and I'm panicking possibly before I need to.

It's so normal to procrastinate when you don't want the answer. Easier to not look. Let go of the guilt because it helps nothing, changes nothing. Repeat that if you need to. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but also makes you feel a fool. Be kind to yourself you will need it and remember covid is making everyone put things off. 💐 Goodluck