To feel sad

[Maries2020]

I am 32, in 16k of debt, my relationships failing, worried about my 3 Yr olds development, lost confidence, bad housing situation with no way out. The prospect of being a single mum with no money is devastating. I feel so alone and no where to turn.

Didn't you post the other day?

@sapnupuas

Yes about my debt

Right. I purposely didn't comment on your other thread as I don't think someone saying they're £10,000s in debt or that they're debt free will help you.

I hope you find a way out soon. I'm sure someone else can offer you better advice that I'll ever be able to. Good luck.

Yes, I read that thread too.

Follow up all the suggestions you were given then. The only person who can get yourself out of this mess is you. Nobody is going to say 'Give me your PayPal address and I'll send you some money'. Life is not like that.

You are still with your partner aren't you, at least you were this morning. Which is strange as you were a single mum yesterday. So my initial advice would be to determine:
1 - Your relationship status
2 - The age of your child as right now, you have a baby. This morning, your child was a 3 yo.

Once you have these vital facts determined, take the advice you were given in your previous thread.

All the best.

One step in front of the other, one thing at a time.
Work out a budget and stick to it.
Know that changes don’t mean instant wins but long term gains.

Sorry slight details were changed (friends go on mumsnet and I guess I feel shame admitting it's me)..

Thought it's nice to let off steam on mumsnet when you're feeling depressed, obviously I'm not expecting someone to send me money what a stupid thing to say.

Thanks for picking me apart when I'm down I'll know to keep off this site now

Do a budget - Google Step Change.

Take any non - essentials off your outgoings.

Meal plan, use a shopping list and stick to it.

Take your lunch into work, include snacks and drinks (if not provided)

A 3 year old doesn't need much for Christmas so this year just get them some little cheap bits like cardboard books, colouring stuff (Home Bargains do great stationery for kids) and some building blocks or similar things they can "do"

It wil take a while to get back on your feet, you have to start somewhere and firstly go and see what you can take from the advise given on your other thread. Put a plan of action in place and get started.

it's ok to be sad, but you can control this and you will feel better for being proactive rather than feeling sorry for yourself. Good luck.

Do you have family you can move in with OP?

@JimmyTheBrave

My mum has a room but it's far from ideal with my manic toddler, we are close now but have never got in living together.

I feel like I've got a mountain of problems that I could write a post of each on (sorry PP!!).

My debt, I will take advice from my previous post and contact stepchange to face up to it.

My relationship, I am essentially living with someone who I'm not with (due to him drinking and taking drugs) so facing being a single mum and this will put me under more strain financially. I can't rent privately as haven't got the credit and I can't leave and go to the council as I would have been making my self homeless. Also just the idea of bringing up my son alone is a lonely prospect.

I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself but have found some good advice on mumsnet (amongst the not so)

You might start out a, single mum with no money, but that doesn't mean you'll stay that way. Leave now before your child is old enough to know about and be adversely affected by your partner's drink and drug habits. You are likely feeling a loss of control over your life and suffering as a consequence - be brave and take control back.

@Cam2020

Thank you, that's more what I needed to hear. I think it's definetly lack of control yes, I definitely I need out of relationship too for son's and my sake, just hard when you live with them..