AIBU to just resign

[Peace43]

I have an offer of a new job. Sounds interesting, it’s a pay rise and promotion. I spoke to my current boss (She’s in the US) last week on Thursday my pm to say I have a job offer and was thinking of resigning. She wanted more information on why and what I thought we ought to change in the department (I’m quite senior). I discussed it with her on Friday and she wanted time to propose a new role for me. She said she’d get back to me Monday hopefully or end of Tuesday at the latest. I haven’t heard anything since and she’s on Thanksgiving vacation apparently (although would likely still be working in parts).

Assuming I hear nothing before tomorrow morning would I be unreasonable to just send her and HR my resignation letter. I don’t really want to stay and if she can’t meet her own timeline to make a counter offer then I don’t think I should keep waiting. I don’t want to leave on a sour note but I can’t wait forever!

YABU you should remind her / give her another day as it’s her vacation week
YANBU you have given them time to counter offer, if they haven’t done so by now you should just formally resign

Presumably if she's in the US by the end of Tuesday that will be early hours tomorrow morning for us. Well if you don't want to stay anyway just send it.

She'll be tied up in Thanksgiving chaos 🌺

Give her a bit of leeway because of Thanksgiving but then if you've heard nothing by close of play tomorrow resign. If she really wants you she'll make it happen.

I don’t really want to stay

You have answered your own question.

Hand in your notice now, they can still make counter offers even if you are on your notice, but you dont want to delay your new role

Ermmm you told your boss 5 days ago that you are leaving, and she hasn't made an offer to keep you? I think that's your answer.

Have you accepted the job?

I would give her until lunch tomorrow.

In my experience, counteroffers rarely work out.

From your perspective:
There was a reason you looked elsewhere. You feel overworked and/or underpaid and/or under-promoted and/or there’s one or more aspect of your role you don’t like. Those things rarely change enough to make staying viable. You don’t owe them the opportunity to retain you.

From your boss’s perspective:
You’re trying to extend from her a change she doesn’t want to give (because otherwise she would have done it already). You’re not as loyal as she thought. If there are cuts to come, you’ll be higher up the list that you were.

Take the new job.

...trying to extract from her...

Resign. She didn't keep to her own deadline and you don't have to hang about waiting for her.
If they really wanted you, she'd have come up with a shit-hot offer today.

In my experience, counteroffers rarely work out.

I thought this was a main way of levering a pay rise.

Same thing happened to me a few years ago, American holiday fell on the day that I planned to resign and my boss was based in The US.... I'd already given the new company a provisional start date based on my notice period too. I emailed my boss (copying HR) apologising for the fact I couldn't speak to her verbally but stating this email would be my resignation and my last day would be in 4 weeks.

You need to get your resignation sent in writing sooner rather than later if you have a notice period to work otherwise it will drag out.

@Brefugee

Resign. She didn't keep to her own deadline and you don't have to hang about waiting for her. If they really wanted you, she'd have come up with a shit-hot offer today.

^ This

Thanks, never been a great counter offer person. I should have just said no but the new job offer had come in so fast I felt a bit rushed so when she asked for a few days I figured it would allow me space to breathe. I’ve finished breathing now and I just want out!

Completely forgot to say congratulations!

I had this a few years ago. I told my boss I'd been offered a new job. He said he was horrified and he wanted to keep me, blah blah blah. He asked if I'd formally accepted the new job, I said not yet but that I had til the end of Monday to do so. He said leave it with me, I'll get back to you by the end of today. That was I think Thursday or Friday. I never heard anything, so handed in my notice and accepted the new job. He never mentioned it again and didn't even say goodbye on my last day.

What "Thanksgiving chaos"? The Americans take short holidays; and there will be less scrabbling to meet families etc this year than any year in the last century. If they wanted you they'd have made the offer.

I'm not sure why you waited really.
You have a lovely new job offer, just go. Send your resignation straight away, the ball's in their court if they want to keep you....but you want to go anyway....

Send the resignation letter. Presumably it can be withdrawn by agreement.

I have little time for people who cannot respond in the time they indicate, or indeed lateness in general.

Presumably if you’re senior then you’re on three months’ notice at a minimum? I would wait til at least end of US working day tomorrow, just to be sure. It’s not just about your job now - you never know who you will come across in years to come and it’s always good to leave on positive terms if possible. With that kind of notice period a day or two won’t make much difference.

You are correct, 3 months notice with the likelihood of garden leave as I’m heading to a direct competitor. A few days doesn’t make much difference and it’s not a huge industry so I don’t want to leave under a cloud. However I also feel slightly aggravated that she talked me into giving her time to counter offer and then just left it hanging (would have been polite to say she couldn’t get it signed off in time rather than to say nothing)

Don't sweat it, OP. Maybe she said it because she thought that is the kind of thing you should say? Hand in your notice and best case? you get gardening leave and arrive at your new job all relaxed and ready to go.

Congrats!

Might be difficult to get a counter offer signed off if others also on thanksgiving hols? Although she should contact you to say as much by end of (her) Tuesday.

Counter offers annoy me so much. Always too little too late. Resign and look forward to your new role. Good luck x

YANBU, resign. Sounds like sabotage.