AIBU to mourn the start of menopause?

[Mafuta]

I have two lovely children and I always wanted more, but my DH said no citing lack of sleep and money constraints. He had the snip about 3 years ago and I was really upset, but that was his decision to make. But you know, accidents can happen.

Now I'm starting menopause at the tender age of 45. Everytime I see a pregnant woman or new baby I get sad. Knowing that there is now slim to no chance of a mistake happening, it makes me feel like I've lost something very important to me.

Does anyone else feel sad about menopause starting and knowing that the baby days are gone?

I really - but I had two and at 42 got torn between having another and making do. We snuck in a surprise DD (cried for weeks and not in a good way ) at 43.

The bit of your post that kept out though was your DH having the snip and “that was his decision to make”. Really? Not in my view...

Lept out, not kept. Jesus wept with bloody autocorrect...

I lost my fertility via ectopics and my kids are ivf babies. I have no Fallopian tubes. I have not been able to have kids without hardcore intervention for a decade.

I still felt a pang when I realised last year that at 45 peri was starting and my fertility was ending. Normal in my book.

I imagine the feeling is quite normal. That said, I'm surprised that for the past 3 years you've been allowing yourself to believe that an accident might happen, despite your DH having had a vasectomy. This was always incredibly unlikely and the time to start coming to terms with the fact you wouldn't be having any more children would have been when that decision was made and he had the surgery.

We did discuss it together re his surgery and I did try to get him to delay the op. I couldn't use hormonal contraceptives anymore and he didn't want to rely on condoms. I did know it was highly unlikely that an accident would happen, but they sometimes do.
I suppose my main issue here is the sadness knowing that the baby factory is now closing for good