Friend changed plans ..aibu to be annoyed?

[annjohn55]

Il start by saying I'm not a nasty person but I'm a tiny bit annoyed.
My friend rang me at work today at 12 saying her dog was ill and she was getting out to sleep at 4pm.
She asked could I take her and she didn't want to be alone.
I was at work but I left 4 hours early (so I will loose nearly £50)
I drove to hers.
Got there and she said her ex boyfriend is now taking her so doesn't need me to take her.
This is her ex of 4 weeks who she is still in love with,he cheated on her and has been vile to her.
Now I just said yeah sure no worries (as obviously it's a terrible day for her with her dog dying etc )
But at the same time I've just drove a hour to yours lost £50 and instead your going with some snake ex boyfriend who has treated you like shit
Aibu ?

*put to sleep

You did a nice thing for a person in distress, that’s a good thing in and of itself. I wouldn’t be too harsh on her when she’s having such a terrible time.

Yanbu

Ah OP that sucks. Well done you for being such a good friend. I’d leave it this time as she’s going through a break up and her dog has just died, but if this is part of a pattern, I’d quietly drop this friendship.

Yeah I deffo won't say anything about this.
I think she probably is using it as a excuse to see the ex again too.
She still wants him so I'm assuming she thinks this could be a way to get him back plus add on the fact she's loosing her dog,her head must be all over the place.

Yabu to be annoyed but she’s probably not thinking straight, it’s a pretty devastating thing she’s having to do. If it’s the sort of thing she does often then have a word after a while but if it’s a one off I’d let it go

If it was her brother dying and she called for support and you found the X there as well would you be upset? Or would you understand she was taking all the support she could get?

Dogs can be like family to people. Maybe she wasn't thinking about the money you lost considering it was a 'family member' the money wouldn't come into it?

Sorry you lost the money btw. I would be annoyed, too, but I can see how you friend might be looking at it.

I'd be really pissed off about that but I can see why it's also a bad time to say it to her. Maybe put it on the back burner and tell her how you felt in a few weeks

I would be the same,looking for as much support as I could.
I know I sound selfish don't I.
I'm really not.
My dog is my family too plus I've lost two dogs so I understand what she's going through.

You're not selfish. It would be annoying. But sometimes people don't realize things like that.

If your friend has a history of this type of thing (say being a major attention hog or drama queen) that would be a whole other issue. If it's a one off then maybe she just isn't thinking beyond her grief right now.

I'm sure she just isn't thinking straight. I'd be in bits. Unless she does this sort of thing all the time, I'd let it go.

I'd be fucking furious.. Her poor precious dog is getting put to sleep and she's still clinging into a Prick that treats her like shit.... and she didn't even have the decency to call you to stop you leaving work and losing £50 wages..

LIVID is not the word....

RIP poor dog

I hope it's a one-off.

You’re a nice friend.

I would be fuming too (actually you aren't fuming I mean like the PP) but I think she will appreciate your care at this sad time and you did the right thing.

I just felt like a bit of a back up plan.
She would ditch me every time for him.
I won't say anything as it's a sad day.
It frustrates me that she won't let go of the ex as well.
She texts him daily and making herself look silly.

Today was different due to the dog.

On a normal day, stop running to her at the drop of a hat, stop getting into psychoanalysis about the ex because until she decides she's had enough she will bend your ear for days on end then run back to him on a whim. Prioritise your sanity

I would be so mad. On the plus side you sound like a lovely friend

I can see why you are annoyed but I imagine her dog’s impending appointment completely distracted her and she wasn’t thinking properly and possibly had no idea you would lose out on money as a result.

She wasn't thinking about her poor Dog.. she was thinking about having an excuse to have her Ex there running after her...

OP was thinking about the poor Dog 🌺

Sorry about the dog. You know now not to drop everything for her in the future. Put yourself first op.

She rang me when she got home.
She was quite upset
She had asked him to get back together and he said no.
I think her head was probably all over the place.

I suspect she is a PITA friend - asks you for help, drops you for her ex, grabs an opportunity to guilt trip him into coming to her rescue, begs him to come back after he treated her badly - but given the circumstances I would let this one slide.

But if this stuff is a pattern I would be backing away.

She had asked him to get back together and he said no.

this speaks flippin volumes....

I'm sorry for the loss of the Dog OP.. very sad day

@annjohn55

She rang me when she got home. She was quite upset She had asked him to get back together and he said no. I think her head was probably all over the place.

And at this point you said what? Did you tell her to stop chasing him or she’ll look desperate?