Old or Not Too Old - Pros and Cons of First Time Motherhood in your early forties.

[OldOrMaybeNotThatOld]

Ok - Just give it to me. Pros and Cons of first (and probably only once) motherhood in your early 40s.

PS. Those who already have kids, try (and just try) imagine that you dont have kids at all and are looking at this possibility without your current set of circumstances. Do you think if you didnt already have kids, would you be trying for one in your early forties?

The things I think about ... The things I think motherhood will take away from me wont seem so important at say, 55 and they are only important to me now.

My Nan had my mother, her only child, at 49. I had my youngest at 40. I don’t think the pros and cons are any different than 20s or 30s. You may be more selfish so find it hard to take the back seat priority wise, but there are plenty young Mums who feel that too. You may feel absolutely drained with tiredness, but tbh your first often does that regardless of maternal age as true sleep deprivation is new. You may be more patient than a younger parent as you have more experience of the truly important things in life, you may not. Just do it if it feels, deep inside, the right thing to do, and don’t do it if you don’t feel that.

Pros - financial security (I'm guessing) no chance of feeling you 'missed out' on anything which can happen if you are a younger mum
Cons - lack of help and sometimes presence of grandparents due to their age, feeling more tired, your own and other peoples hang ups about older motherhood. Finally the boring medical ones - higher risk of miscarriage and fetal abnormalities
Good luck

If you know you want kids/ are in a good position to have them earlier, then it may be 'easier' to have them a bit younger. If you are in your forties and your choice is now or never, them if you want to/ can, go for it.
Good luck!

I'm 48 with 9 month old twins.
I'm currently sitting in their bedroom in a comfy rocking chair as they fall asleep, and thinking of the pros and cons.

I agree with everything Bluetonic said.
I've no feeling of having missed out on anything, since I did so much before having them. In your 40s, you likely have your career well established and have some financial security.

The main cons for me were tiredness and cost. The first 4 months were difficult through lack of sleep, but now they sleep through the night, so it's fine. Childcare is expensive. I guess a con is that you'll be older when they're in their teens and twenties etc. But my parents are in their 90s and are healthy, so you could be fine till the baby is in his 50s.

I'm in a mums group, and everyone is late-30s or early-forties, so there are plenty of people having children at that age.

They make me laugh every day, and they've brought so much joy to my parents and siblings too.