Red flag? Gushing posts about various ex's

[DK123]

My friend asked my advice about this as she just doesn't know what to make of it and I honestly didn't know what to say because I've never encountered anything similar before. Hence I'm asking fellow MNetters to see if anyone's experienced similar and to get a gist of what people think!

My friend has started dating someone (it's been a couple of months and they've had a chat to conclude it's a monogamous relationship and not a casual open thing). My impression of him is that he seems like a pleasant, cheerful, outgoing guy, a popular and sociable type.

What's thrown my friend (and me) is that he frequently posts photos and stories on Instagram with pictures of exes with various gushing comments. It could be "this time when me and X went to Paris" or "beautiful little Y, the sweetest girl, we had the best time in Amsterdam,"'or "missing wonderful Z now she's moved back to her home country"

If it was about one particular ex then it wouldn't be nice as it would suggest he wasn't remotely over them but at least it would make some sort of sense!

I get it that he's a friendly guy who seems to be able to stay friends with exes but why on earth is he posting this stuff?! I've never heard of anything like it before and it would take someone with a lot of confidence to think nothing of it.

Also, I did notice that the majority of these women he's posting about are sexy Instagram lingerie model types and many of the posts are of their underwear modelling pictures with complements attached.

For what it's worth, I don't think the women particularly reciprocate the gushing complements and so on, but I've no idea what they think about whether they're best mates with this guy or not. But they seem to be on decent terms and will happily socialise with him, so it's not that he's imagining they're on good terms.

I'd be grateful for some opinions to be able to give my friend some sensible advice as I'm flummoxed after combing through his Instagram page in the hope of coming up with something constructive to say to her!

Sounds like he's trying to make your friend jealous and put her in the little box he wants her in. Fuck that.

Do the exes know he's posting photos of them in their underwear online?

This is a bit strange. Its nice to be friends with exes, but to reminisce and gush about them is very strange.

The only thing I can think of is he is trying to make your friend feel bad about herself - feels she isn't worth him- you know "I'm not good as his exes, so I have to try harder". That kind of thing.

But that could just be me being cynical and maybe too harsh.

That would be a deal breaker for me. No way I'd be continuing in that relationship.

Are they actually his exes or just random pictures of women from the internet and he’s pretending they are his exes? I second pp who asked if these women would be happy he was splashing pictures of them in the underwear. Sounds ‘off’ to me and he sounds like an insecure man who needs his ego stroking. It would put me off.

Underwear modelling pictures you say? What's the chances they're not ex girlfriends at all but pictures he's lifted off social media. He's a weird creep.

My advice to your friend would be "run for the hills"

Sounds like his Instagram is more a carefully cultivated fantasy than a log of his actual life.

Escorts perhaps.

No he would be dumped.

He’ll be making it up using random pics trying to make her jealous. She should get rid

Are they actually his exes? If they aren't responding to being tagged l would be even more concerned.

Does he know your friend can see them?

Def red flag.

They definitely are his exes not photos he's stolen of random women looking attractive. I've seen him around over the years so I know they're real people who he's actually been in relationships with.

He does seem to socialise with at least some of them still, not just make reference to them on social media, so they obviously know he posts the pictures and comments about them. He's not doing it discreetly - they're tagged in the photos etc. A lot of the photos are of him with them or his holiday pictures with them in.

It's not a recent thing to specifically throw my friend's confidence off - when you look back through his photos he's been doing this "my wonderful ex X" "my wonderful ex Y" thing for years!

He's either the friendliest guy on the planet or a complete weirdo!

He sounds weird.

Eurgh. He sounds like an insecure creep.

Defs sounds weird. I’ve never heard of anyone doing that. And if I was an ex of his I’d be soo creeped out.

It sounds like he's showing them off. Bragging? Like he gets an ego boost from broadcasting he tapped that.

Does he post pics of him and your friend, call her his gf on social media etc?

I want to know WHY they are all exes!

Hahahahahahahahaha. This" asking for a friend "post is quite something . And so is this guy. Cant believe there is a thread about this when all of his actions should have been enough red flags to run for the hills straight away.

Creepy. Gross. And bizarre behaviour

Ewwwww

If my bf was regularly posting nostalgic pics and comments about his ex gfs I'd be off.

That's just weird!

Fantasist.

It's really creepy and weird that he has kept all of these womens half naked photos and likes sharing them online. A massive ego boost for him "look at all these gorgeous women I've shagged".

I would dump him because I wouldn't want to be the next one he's posting pictures of! He's just so weird.

@DK123

They definitely are his exes not photos he's stolen of random women looking attractive. I've seen him around over the years so I know they're real people who he's actually been in relationships with.

He does seem to socialise with at least some of them still, not just make reference to them on social media, so they obviously know he posts the pictures and comments about them. He's not doing it discreetly - they're tagged in the photos etc. A lot of the photos are of him with them or his holiday pictures with them in.

It's not a recent thing to specifically throw my friend's confidence off - when you look back through his photos he's been doing this "my wonderful ex X" "my wonderful ex Y" thing for years!

He's either the friendliest guy on the planet or a complete weirdo!

Weirdo.

In answer to pp this most definitely a genuine asking for a friend thread. I fall distinctly into the non cool girlfriend category when it comes to people being too pally with exes.

I think this guy's behaviour is a red flag but my friend is stuck in the "he's just a very sociable guy no?" camp.

I'm curious as to why he's broken up with and then become friends with so many women over a fairly short amount of time. My suspicion is that he love bombs then gets fed up quickly and then adds them to his list of women he thinks he gains kudos for having dated. I could be entirely wrong but that's what it looks like to me.