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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to ask for help with my kids' presents?!

8 replies

Subeccoo · 23/11/2020 18:09

Like many of us, I have had a shit of a year. I lost my mum suddenly at the beginning of it, then covid, off work for months between grief and lockdown - then about a month ago I have slipped into a proper depression, delayed grief. I am getting help for it (work have arranged some counselling and I am on tablets) and for the most part I am getting on ok, but am having a very low day today.

Anyway, I have 3 amazing kids who in their own ways have been rocks for me this year. DD 23, DS21 and DS15.
But despite loving them all so much and being a very close family (older 2 have moved out but speak every day/see them whenever we can, still live in same city) I have no idea what to buy any of them. At all. Nothing.
Usually my presents are experiences, concert tickets for the older 2, theatre for the younger. Holidays, days out etc. None of this is really an option now.
Younger only wants a PS5 (totally out of my budget) and the other two havent come up with anything they want.
Youngest has a crap phone so have offered a new one, but hes not interested so seems a waste.
Theyre all into running so some running stuff might be good, but none of them are arsed about new trainers etc.
Argh. Budget is about £200 each, I am so down and not thinking straight and dreading christmas as that is when my mum was taken ill last year - I just want the whole thing to go away.
Being able to decide on some great gifts for these 3 would take some of my stress away - anyone got any ideas at all?!

And my aibu is two-fold. Aibu to not know what to get the kids? And aibu for just wanting Christmas to disappear (I know I am, the kids need it this year, it really has been the worst :( )

OP posts:
Whattheactual20201 · 23/11/2020 18:12

Sorry for your loss ❤️

If they all enjoy running have they got Fitbit watches ?

hammeringinmyhead · 23/11/2020 18:16

Honestly as we are nearly in December and they haven't given you any ideas, and the shops are closed, I would give them the money to spend in the sales. They're old enough to know you are ill and it's not fair to expect you to come up with amazing gifts in the current situation.

MrsMigginsMate · 23/11/2020 18:24

Give them a choice - suggest some presents within this budget or simply have the money. They're probably grown up enough not to miss surprises.

If on the other hand you want to put a bit of fun back in Christmas for yourself then maybe go for smaller surprises and the rest in cash. You could even do them a Christmas stocking for a bit of a lark with chocs, nuts, socks, card games to play on the day, novelty books, brainteaser puzzles etc. Just something to open for the sake of it to make them smile and then a nice gold envelope with the rest of them money in.

You are not being unreasonable in finding it overwhelming, I sympathise with you so much. We've all been there, when life gets tough Christmas can feel like so much hard work. Be careful not to over stretch yourself trying to get everything perfect, it rarely is and it's the thought that counts.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 23/11/2020 18:27

I think the older ones who've moved out could have their budgets reduced - drop it £100 each, give cash.

Then get the youngest a PS5. His brothers could each get him one game

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 23/11/2020 18:27

Sorry I meant add the leftovers from the adults gifts to the youngest budget

Subeccoo · 23/11/2020 18:31

@Whattheactual20201

Sorry for your loss ❤️

If they all enjoy running have they got Fitbit watches ?

You'd think! Dd has a garmin she doesn't use, big ds wants an apple watch so is saving for that, 15 yo not interested.

But there's some great ideas on here, it may well be a cash christmas, but I still want to get bits for them to open so please keep them coming.

OP posts:
MummmyDayCareNameChangeAGAIN · 23/11/2020 18:33

Fitbit watches or airpods are good for exercises.

Sorry about the loss of your mum & what you're going through. Flowers

Dobbyismyfavourite · 23/11/2020 18:37

My nearly 18year old DD has really enjoyed yoga and working out during the first lockdown so I am getting her a fitbit and a yoga mat (gaiam). My niece, early 20's, still likes Pandora and they have their Black Friday sale on or how about an evening back, say MK once again offers are out already.

My DH has the Samsung galaxy watch, which is in your budget, for your oldest son. Although not so great if he has an iPhone best paired with a Samsung phone.

Sorry no idea for your youngest son.

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