AIBU to plan a large 2021 wedding

[HipHipHoppy]

I got engaged at the start of 2020 and have been putting off arranging a wedding (for obvious reasons...!).

I'm now wondering if, given the news of a vaccine, I can look at 2021.

I'm French (we live in the UK), so I'd be hoping to do it in my hometown; meaning of course, lots of guests would need to travel (not very covid-friendly).

My suggestion has been met with a mixture of excitement, but also scepticism. Some people have made it clear they think this is very irresponsible granted the covid situation - I am conscious that I do not want people to book hotels etc and potentially lose money.

AIBU to just plan for late summer of 2021?

I work in the industry and I’m already getting cancellations for autumn 2021. I’ve stopped taking bookings until there’s more clarity so I stop wasting time on plans that come to nothing.

Just get married in a civil ceremony with a few guests and save your money.

I wouldn’t, especially not one involving international travel. Too much risk of it getting cancelled altogether or of key people not being there either because they don’t want to risk travelling, don’t want to risk losing money paying for flights etc in advance, or if they are having to self isolate at the time

You're 33? Do a small civil ceremony and get on with baby making...no way should you wait another year, let alone 2!

I've had the big white wedding and would not do it again. It's one day. One expensive, enormously stressful day that is more fun for the guests than for you. Do you want to risk your ability to have children over this?

In your shoes I'd have a small and simple wedding next year.

If I were you I would have a small thing now, TTC, then have a lovely celebration down the line in the U.K./France. Big christening party in France, housewarming in the U.K. etc.

Weddings are so expensive and really I don't think big ones are worth the hassle!

Also, lots of people will be having weddings in the next 2 years which will make some people have to choose some over others. I have 3 international weddings scheduled for June-October next year. All very close people whose weddings I wouldn't normally miss. But I have to because I'm not spending all my savings and annual leave on weddings!

You're 33. Been engaged for nearly a year want to have kids etc.

If you're going to do it just do it.

Don't keep delaying married life to have big expensive abroad wedding when people may not come and it may get cancelled.

Just do it in what the restrictions allow as soon as you can and when the world reopens go on a big holiday and visit relatives in other countries that missed it

I would book a small wedding for next year if I were you. I don’t think things will be back to normal any time soon ... sad to say

I think it’s fine to plan but I would make sure you have decent insurance and a backup plan (or two).

I'm in same boat as you - been engaged for the same amount of time / same age. This thread has made me panic!

Ours is supposed to be next Christmas / New Year but now I'm wondering if that is not going to happen and I should TTC ASAP!

Fingers crossed for us both!

Not unreasonable as such but probably a bit daft.

What classes as 'big'?

I am getting married end of 2021 and just pushing ahead. If 'some' normality hasn't resumed by then, the events industry will be non-existent. I'm keeping the faith.

I'd leave it - from what I've read on Mumsnet, planning a big wedding is stressful enough without factoring in a whole host of Covid 'what ifs' as well.
Maybe have a very small registry office do - even just the two of you if you still want to get married next year - then have a big party, re-new vows, etc in 2022/23 when hopefully things will have calmed down.

Look into 2022. Or 2023
2021 is still going to be one heck of a weird year.

From a guest’s pov I really wouldn’t want to commit to travelling abroad in summer next year and even if it were possible I’d probably prefer to prioritise a family holiday (which was cancelled this year) over a friend’s wedding. Smallish local wedding next year or big posh one year after I’d say

No. Skip my 2023 comment
2022 sounds better
But also op. Give up on the abroad wedding thing. Just keep it local. Especially right now.

Yes, YABU.
It’s probably won’t be over with COVID. Also a large wedding with travelling involved sounds problematic anyway, especially in current environment. I really don’t want to sound patronising, but which type of wedding you have won’t change a single thing in your family life.
It’s up to you what to do though and your family/guests. We are all different.

Yes it would be silly to book anything big at the moment.

@Cautionsharpblade
+++
Golden advice really. That’s what I would do, OP. It’s only about you and your future husband.

I wouldn't even consider 2021, for all of the reasons already mentioned. I would save your money, get married now at a registry office, and perhaps plan a celebratory party/family reunion for a few years down the line.

While I think large weddings are fabulous (if done well) and travelling to a close European country isn’t a hardship (provided you’re allowing children), fabulous.

However, being realistic because of covid, I’d be hesitant to plan a large wedding and for a lot of people to travel

In your shoes, I’d do a smaller wedding in France and a smaller, outside, party in UK for those who you would have otherwise invited to France.

It’s just too early to plan because truthfully we just don’t know enough about the roll out of the vaccine, how long it would last and the uptake of a vaccine. Planning smaller is more likely not to be impacted.

You also may not wish to postpone getting married until all traces of covid are gone. - we just don’t know how long that will be.