So DH (recently married) has said before ‘you can’t be 5’4’ and tries to convince himself (and me 😳) that I’m taller. So I just brushed it off in past. ‘I dunno, I suppose,’ I’d say... yawn!
Then lately he comments ‘I don’t fancy short people’ (or something of the like - can’t remember the exact words). So I reply ‘Well obviously you do!’ And that was that. But I wished I’d said that I don’t usually fancy fat bald men, which I don’t (usually)! But hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Anyway, fast forward to this weekend. We are in kitchen getting on with kitchen-related morning activity. He stands there, puffs himself up, and says, ‘When I stand up tall you really are very short aren’t you?’ or something in that vein. I’m like ‘meh’ or ‘suppose so’ or some flippant comment back (obviously I’m a bit annoyed by this unnecessary comment).
Then he gets his tape measure out the bloody drawer and proceeds to suggest that he measures me. I’m like ‘No! The midwife said I’m 5’4’ and exit room. He follows up with ‘But you could have grown!’ Because a 33 year old is likely to grow in height over the period of 3 years 🤔
I wish I had said now:
‘Actually I’ve shrunk since we married and I’m now 5’2. I think by 35 I’ll be 5 foot!’
So anyway, by this point I’m quite riled up. Trying to look after our child while he wants to chase me about with his tape measure.
So I say, perhaps with a slightly raised voice:
‘I don’t make an issue of you being fat and bald. Let me get my tape measure and measure your stomach and see if you’re large or extra large!’
He laughs a bit but looks a little crestfallen.
I then say:
‘I am hot and young and my height isn’t even that short it’s small-medium!’ (for a female? 😂) - I shouldn’t feel need to justify myself like this; he shouldn’t be making me feel on the defensive.
Then I follow up with:
‘I am 5’4 Tony just accept that your wife is 5’4!’
Then:
‘If you want a woman who is tall go find one but you can guarantee she’ll be a minger!’ NB I didn’t mean tall women are unattractive, I was making a jibe at the general level of attractiveness he would likely ascertain, he couldn’t exactly pull a model.
I’ve been unkind I know that, and that’s not me. But I felt pushed to it by his behaviour!
Then he says something from kitchen such as ‘Mummy’s moody!’
And that was that. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable to give him a bit back in reply to his behaviour, but on the other hand I realise I have stooped to his level (or below?) by dishing out personal insults. I don’t even know if his preoccupation with my height is meant as an insult, but it has negative undertones if you see what I mean. I wouldn’t mind if he called me ‘shorty’ in a jokey way or just as an endearing term if he so wished. But it’s this pattern of bringing up my height and then denying my height. He’s in denial - what’s his problem!? He is 6’3 for context. Maybe I’m just not tall enough for him 😫
He has a small-average manhood before anyone asks. Size issues perhaps 🤣
Rant over