Page 4 | Inheritance Same dad different mums

Whatistiktoc · 2020-11-22T20:32:40+00:00

So just looking for peoples opinion really! Some back story-Dad recently passed away leaving his wife, myself and younger sister. 8 years between us. My parents split when I was around 3 and he went on to remarry and have another child. We all had a good relationship and He always stayed in touch seeing me most weekends. My sister stayed in the family home when he died. He didn’t leave a will and we got an equal share money’s. But my question is about the home him and wife owned. Obviously she lives there and will for however long she likes or until she passes, but when she does do you think my dads half should be shared between us both or go entirely to my sister? YABU-sister takes all YANBU-split

BettyDuKeiraBellisMyShero · 22/11/2020 22:21

Stepmum could remarry and new husband could end up with the house!

You have no legal claim to your stepmother’s property, and while the 25% does seem fair, it’s pretty unlikely to happen so best to put it out of your mind.

Original poster

Whatistiktoc · 22/11/2020 22:24

@BettyDuKeiraBellisMyShero

Stepmum could remarry and new husband could end up with the house!

You have no legal claim to your stepmother’s property, and while the 25% does seem fair, it’s pretty unlikely to happen so best to put it out of your mind.

You’re absolutely right I know! X

OP posts:

Peonniesinthefountain · 22/11/2020 22:53

Yes I’m sure I will but since she has remarried and her husband has a son it will be 50/50 no matter who dies first.. and that is in a will thankfully.. but I would have it no other way
Has she remarried already?

Original poster

Whatistiktoc · 22/11/2020 22:59

@Peonniesinthefountain

Yes I’m sure I will but since she has remarried and her husband has a son it will be 50/50 no matter who dies first.. and that is in a will thankfully.. but I would have it no other way Has she remarried already?

I am talking about my mum not my stepmum 😊

OP posts:

saraclara · 22/11/2020 23:16

You seem to be getting ready to be angry with your step mum. But she's done/doing nothing wrong. This wasn't a newish relationship. They'd clearly been together for a long time. The house is all hers now, and she's neither legally or morally obliged to factor you in to what happens to it in a few decades' time when she dies. If you only saw him "most weekends" I'm going to assume that it's unlikely that you will continue to have much of a relationship with her over the next few decades. By the time she dies you might not have seen each other for years. It would be very unusual for her to consider you to have a claim on what will have been her home for maybe 40/50 years.

I'm sorry for your loss, but this is down to your dad, not her. He should have made a will to provide for you. he didn't.

NewHomeJitters · 22/11/2020 23:39

Well I suppose legally it's now your step mothers house so she doesn't have to leave anything to you.

Morally, I'd expect 75% to your sister and 25% to you.

Newkitchen123 · 22/11/2020 23:40

I didn't say you had a legal right. You asked for opinions. My opinion is that it's up to the legal owner to decide. That was your dad and stepmum. It doesn't look like your dad left any share of the house to you so it's now up to stepmum to decide.

justicedanceson · 22/11/2020 23:47

Well in your father’s shoes I would have written a will saying that the house should be divided 2/3 to your sister and 1/3 to you. Since the house was owned by both her mum and dad. It makes sense that it would be split that way. Then step mum would have right to live their for life. Might need to consider care costs in this. So possibly house minus care costs.... but you get my general idea.
Since he didn’t I think it’s your step mum’s house. She was his wife and I can understand that even if it feels hard as his daughter.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/11/2020 23:56

You seem to be getting ready to be angry with your step mum. But she's done/doing nothing wrong
This. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I can only imagine you're still processing stuff but I wouldn't waste your efforts trying to second guess a decision your step mom may well not make for decades or not at all if she also doesn't have a will. Unless they were both very elderly or she's very ill, anything could happen. It could get eaten up in care home fees, a lifetime cruise, she could remarry and he could inherit it all. It really isn't worth your focus

SandyY2K · 23/11/2020 00:07

Not leaving a will does not automatically mean everything goes to the surviving spouse in England.

It depends on the value of the estate. If it's more than £270k, any surviving children are likely to get an equal share, once half has gone to the surviving spouse.

So this ....

@Lilliarna

If your dm leaves you her house, will you give half of that to your sister?

Is nonsense...as the half sister has no legal right to this.. as the OPs mum is not relatedto her half sister.

SandyY2K · 23/11/2020 00:09

Thank you smile but I really just wanted opinion I’m legally not entitled I just thought I’d do it differently if I was in her position xx

It's best to only expect your legal entitlement really.

saraclara · 23/11/2020 00:14

I just thought I’d do it differently if I was in her position xx

You think that now, when you're not in anything like her position.
When you've been married to someone for long enough to have a near adult child, a marital home you've been in for all that time, and you have an older adult SC who you only saw some weekends, you won't be dwelling on what you'll do with that home in a few decades time, when you're actively grieving the recent loss of your much loved husband.

You really won't.

Bikingbear · 23/11/2020 00:41

I only have my half sister. It’s just us 2. And no he didn’t pay for another house. But he did give my mum maintenance for me weekly.

Sorry I miss read. I can see why you are peeved but your step mum and sister still live in it.
It would be kind of her to leave you half of your Dads half. That's assuming at DSis has moved out and it was paid equally by them and not the majority by her.

However if you don't maintain a relationship with SMum then I think you'll end up forgotten about.

Original poster

Whatistiktoc · 23/11/2020 06:42

@SleepingStandingUp

You seem to be getting ready to be angry with your step mum. But she's done/doing nothing wrong This. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I can only imagine you're still processing stuff but I wouldn't waste your efforts trying to second guess a decision your step mom may well not make for decades or not at all if she also doesn't have a will. Unless they were both very elderly or she's very ill, anything could happen. It could get eaten up in care home fees, a lifetime cruise, she could remarry and he could inherit it all. It really isn't worth your focus

I think you’re right.. I will focus on the rest of my life and remember my dad for all the lovely things he did! Thank you for being kind xx

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Elfieishere · 23/11/2020 07:59

As a step mum I would decide near the time of my death.. and it would be based on the relationship we had later in life.
If you didn’t bother with me for the years before my death then I wouldn’t leave you anything.

HollowTalk · 23/11/2020 10:37

But who knows when they're going to die?

And even if your step daughter didn't bother with you, that house belonged to her dad as well, so she should inherit as well as your own child.

LenaBlack · 23/11/2020 11:07

And even if your step daughter didn't bother with you, that house belonged to her dad as well, so she should inherit as well as your own child.

No she shouldn't. Her dad didn't leave it to her but to his wife. His choice not to make a will.

BettyDuKeiraBellisMyShero · 23/11/2020 11:33

You’re absolutely right I know! X

For what it’s worth, bereavement makes us all a bit doolally, and it’s absolutely understandable that questions such as yours will pass through your brain as part of processing your loss.

Ultimately, you are best served by setting those thoughts free and filing it under ‘stuff I can’t influence’.

Don’t let it be a wedge between you and your half sister, and stay in touch with stepmum, if you want to, for the relationship you have, not the potential pot of inheritance at the end of the rainbow.

For what it’s worth, we’re a blended family and I own my house outright (asset going into the marriage). I will not be leaving a share to my stepdaughter (her dad massively facilitated the purchase of her mum’s house and she’s an only child) BUT... we have taken out substantial life insurance, including policies that solely benefit her and her mum (and my husband and my wills also provide the equivalent of current child support plus inflation to her mum from the time of DH’s death until DsD 21st birthday)

So, no, she won’t inherit a share of my family home (which could force a sale my children didn’t want/cause unnecessary drama) but we have arranged alternatives that ensure she will receive a similar total value, plus whatever her mum leaves her (and her mum will also inherit enough to pay off her own relatively small mortgage, if DsD is still a minor).

Blended families are a messy situation and very variable so it’s well worth stepparents sorting all this stuff out in advance via legal channels and taking away the uncertainty that you currently feel (we differ to yours in that my husband and I both had children from previous relationships but none together, and we married at an age when life insurance and wills were already on our minds, so all this was discussed before we even booked the wedding).

Nothing can be done after the fact, so do try and let things go, and prioritise remembering the positive stuff about your late dad and your extended family.

I’m sorry for your loss

Original poster

Whatistiktoc · 23/11/2020 20:10

@BettyDuKeiraBellisMyShero

You’re absolutely right I know! X

For what it’s worth, bereavement makes us all a bit doolally, and it’s absolutely understandable that questions such as yours will pass through your brain as part of processing your loss.

Ultimately, you are best served by setting those thoughts free and filing it under ‘stuff I can’t influence’.

Don’t let it be a wedge between you and your half sister, and stay in touch with stepmum, if you want to, for the relationship you have, not the potential pot of inheritance at the end of the rainbow.

For what it’s worth, we’re a blended family and I own my house outright (asset going into the marriage). I will not be leaving a share to my stepdaughter (her dad massively facilitated the purchase of her mum’s house and she’s an only child) BUT... we have taken out substantial life insurance, including policies that solely benefit her and her mum (and my husband and my wills also provide the equivalent of current child support plus inflation to her mum from the time of DH’s death until DsD 21st birthday)

So, no, she won’t inherit a share of my family home (which could force a sale my children didn’t want/cause unnecessary drama) but we have arranged alternatives that ensure she will receive a similar total value, plus whatever her mum leaves her (and her mum will also inherit enough to pay off her own relatively small mortgage, if DsD is still a minor).

Blended families are a messy situation and very variable so it’s well worth stepparents sorting all this stuff out in advance via legal channels and taking away the uncertainty that you currently feel (we differ to yours in that my husband and I both had children from previous relationships but none together, and we married at an age when life insurance and wills were already on our minds, so all this was discussed before we even booked the wedding).

Nothing can be done after the fact, so do try and let things go, and prioritise remembering the positive stuff about your late dad and your extended family.

I’m sorry for your loss

❤️ thanks for taking the time to write this.. and being kind as well as honest x

OP posts:

nancybotwinbloom · 24/11/2020 17:41

@HavelockVetinari

No. He has one child biologically. This childs mum has her own house.

I have one child biologically. I have my own house. My DH is not her biological father.

He has a step son (he was with the lady before me for ten years and her son was one when he met her) he has regular access to his step son and is treated the same as his biological son and my daughter. His mum has her own house.

Frankola · 24/11/2020 17:46

If there's no will the house legally belongs to his wife- his next of kin. Its hers to do as she wishes.

Morally, you should be entitled to 25% of the house given you siblings shared a dad and assuming his wife split their house 50/50. I wouldnt rely on anything though!

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 24/11/2020 18:59

It's your step mothers house now and she is likely to leave it to her daughter. You've had your inheritance from your dad.

nancybotwinbloom · 24/11/2020 19:18

@HavelockVetinari
I've only just register the comment about latest wife.

I'm his second wife. And no he wouldn't leave everything to me. It goes between us all I expect. If it didn't and did go to me it would be equal between us all.

He left his first marriage with nothing he left everything with his wife including the house he paid for. He paid 50% of everything for his son plus anything else he could. He pays £500 a month for his step son.

If he has any inheritance I don't doubt for a minute he will take care of all the kids.

I don't need his inheritance. I'm
Lucky enough to be independent and earn on my own.

That reply seemed very harsh to me.