AIBU contact with our son

[Appleofmyeye05]

Ex has only recently starting having ds over night.
The agreement was one overnight on Friday of week 1 and an overnight Saturday of week 2 and alternate.

Ex has said he won’t be having ds on the Friday as he finds it too hard to have our ds along side his two other dc (3&8) so Friday overnight have stopped and being replaced with a Saturday day time.

This week ex said he won’t be having ds overnight on Saturday and could it be the Friday instead. The reason was he wanted to spend 1 on 1 time with his other dc, whom he had all weekend contact with the previous weekend.

Aibu to of said no? For me it would mean a 5pm drop off and a 10am pick up to suit his plans with his other child and I don’t really see it as a break for me nor do I see it as he will be spending enough time with our ds. Our ds would go to bed at 7 ish and wake about 7am so he would get roughly 5 hours split over Friday evening and Saturday morning and I don’t see it’s worth the petrol to drive him there and pick him up.

I also suspect he is going to change a contact day with his other dc to Saturday overnight which will mean my ds will be changed to the Friday, which I’m not happy about at all. Aibu to say no to this?

The weekend is the only time he has contact with our ds.

The 3 year old was a product of a short relationship before we got together and wasn’t made apparent until he was about 1 year old. But that’s another tale.

So there could be any number of similar “products”? Sounds like a peach.

Nope, it was a situation that happened and was dealt with by him stepping up. Shame he can’t do the same for our child.

Nope, it was a situation that happened...

Clearly. But also clearly, he can’t keep it in his pants.

Clearly he cannot “send one back”, but he will have to put up with the inconvenience which he is partly responsible for.

Exactly!!!! which was my point to

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

So he has 3 different kids with 3 different mums? If that's the case then there's going to be some chopping and changing as that's three different households involved.

Is an overnight really necessary at 11 months? Would you be prepared to go back to daytime visits only, but insist on a consistent timetable?

@BlueThistles

If his dad can't handle 3 kids then he shouldn't have had 3 kids.

what is the actual point of statements like this ? do you suggest he take one back ? life huh 🤔

OP he needs to manage his contacts better... it'll take time and no I do not think you are being unreasonable 🌺

She's right though!! If, haven forbid, OP died tomorrow and he had to take his own child in, he'd cope wouldn't he, or would the child just be cast out into the street?

11 months is a bit young for overnight as he clearly isn't that used to being with his dad.

Can you keep it to days till at least 18 months? Then if he keeps it consistent it will be easier for all.

She's right though!! If, haven forbid, OP died tomorrow and he had to take his own child in, he'd cope wouldn't he, or would the child just be cast out into the street?

FFS I AGREEEEEEEEEE !? WHAT PART OF ME AGREEING THAT HE NEEDS TO PARENT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ??????

If his dad can't handle 3 kids then he shouldn't have had 3 kids.

I was responding to THIS pointless statement .. its a moot point!? he has 3 kids so get on with it !?

AND OF COURSE ITS HIS KIDS SO HE NEEDS TO PARENT!!!!!!!!

DAD NEEDS TO GET A GRIP AND PARENT BUT STOP MAKING STUPID STATEMENT LIKE THAT !?