To think this is definitely going to be bowel cancer

[Covidfears]

My lovely dad has been losing weight for the last 6 months. It’s noticeably a few stone now. At first we thought it was because he’s been isolating since March so hasn’t been able to buy the rubbish he normally buys when he’s out and about, just has what mum gives him now. My mum also noticed he was seeing a lot so diabetes crossed her mind as he has always been overweight. Mum sent off for some different tests.

The first test she made him do was a FIT ‘poo stick’ test which came back as nearly 300. Normal value is less than 10. Dad then confesses that’s he’s had diarrhoea after he eats for the last 6 months! And hasn’t told anyone.

We are all in bits. Obviously we are now convinced that he has bowel cancer and that it will be very advanced or untreatable as he left it so long.

The doctor is going to try and arrange a colonoscopy for him on Monday under the 2 week wait thing but said it will probably be longer due to Covid.

So now he has to go through all this alone as he can’t have anyone with him for hospital appointments due to Covid and I imagine he has a high chance of catching it now he has to have lots of medical appointments and probably surgery.

I had a desperate night last night and don’t have the emotional energy to even get up today.

Is this definitely going to be very bad news?

At the beginning of lockdown my mum was told she had early stage bowel cancer after she did a poo test. Many of the symptoms for bowel cancer she'd had for years since she had her gall bladder removed so didn't think anything of it.
Once they did the operation which was as a day case they did another biopsy (for the hundredth time) and then told her she didn't have cancer after all, it was precancerous instead. So don't worry until you have to

I read your latest update and felt I had to respond because I was there 18 months ago. They do indeed know it's cancer from the rectal exam, so the best thing you can do now is accept that but be reminded cancer is not a death sentence. The further tests will show at what stage he's at which is the crucial information.
My dad was diagnosed as stage 3, a treatment plan was put in place but there were no guarantees. I'd already lost my mum to cancer and was terrified. What followed was just over a year of different treatments, scans, positive news, devastating news, seeing my dad go from a big strong bloke to frail old man. Its tough. Really tough.
Luck was on our side because in the end, after going through so, so much, he is now free of cancer. There is so much they can do and although the experience is scary, it's not quite what you imagine, a chemo ward for example isn't full of ill looking people, it's full of people hooked up to drips chatting away looking 'normal'.
My heart goes out to you because I know how you must be feeling. But cancer is not always a death sentence, so please
try not to assume the worst.
Sending strength and hope your way

So sorry OP. Bowel cancer is very treatable. My MIL was diagnosed 9 years ago with stage 4 which had already spread to her liver. After surgery and 2 rounds of chemo, she was declared not in remission but stable and she has been so ever since. She has 6 monthly check ups to check on growth but her day to day live is normal. Wait for more info from the doctors but hopefully this will not be a death sentence for your dad.

The survival rate for bowel cancer, if this is that, is pretty high. It's more likely at 75 that bowel cancer is something you die with, not from.

Having said that, treatment can be hard for sure. But having been through two cancer treatments at a young age with my DH, all I can tell you is catastrophising, at any stage of an illness is the worst possible thing you can do.

Big girl pants on, tackle each step as it comes. You don't have a choice TBH:

Thank you for your kind words. I know I’ve got to pull myself together and get on with it, for the children as well. They don’t know their beloved grandad is ill and I guess we probably shouldn’t tell them until after Christmas - let them have one last happy Christmas before knowing. I don’t really know.

Just basically feeling so sorry for us all at the moment

2 Years ago this month, my DH had a massive cancerous tumour removed along with half of his bowel. It was a six hour operation and 6 months of gruelling chemo followed. He finished chemo 18 months ago and is fit and well. He didn’t need a stoma, not even temporarily.
He’s 71 now and cancer free.
He was told at his colonoscopy that he had a huge tumour and like you we were devastated. It was also the eve of our youngest son’s 21 birthday so we had to hold it together until the following week.
Macmillan nurses and their support line, telephone and online, were so helpful.
Good luck with it all.

You really do need to stop and breath. Whilst your update is obviously not what was hoped for, cancer is not a definite death sentence. They haven't given him a time limit yet. Until they actually find out and tell you what is happening, you just don't know. Obviously go and having an amazing Christmas. But I also hope that they give your Dad a treat plan before that so you know more of what is actually happening and can plan ahead for the treatments.

It isn't 'one last happy Christmas'. You have no idea what it is but you're choosing to think the worst.

I don't want to sound uncaring because it is tough (if it is what it might be) but it isn't the end of the world and if you treat it as such you stand to make everything a lot worse than it is.

It's easier said than done but you really need to try and change your mindset about this. Things could get a whole lot worse and if you're thinking this negatively now, how will you cope when/if you're needed?

Crohns can develop at any age. In about 25% of cases, it starts after the age of 60.

Another possibility that occurred to me is diverticular disease, which is commoner in the elderly than in younger people.

Even if it is bowel cancer, the outlook is often good (well over half live for over 10 years). The Queen Mother was treated for it in her 60s, and lived to be 101. My friend's grandmother was treated for it successfully at the age of 96, and has just celebrated her 100th birthday.

I am sorry to read your update, but I doubt that the doctor could be sure that it is cancer with no biopsy, etc. It is quite common for people to have polyps, etc, which are not cancerous, though in some cases need to be removed to prevent them from becoming cancerous at a later stage. In any case, as I said in my other post, bowel cancer is often very treatable,

I hope it isn't the worse, but even if it is, there is still hope.
My Grandad had Bowel Cancer in his later 60s, was treated and made a full recovery. Like your Dad he ignored symptoms for months before seeking medical help. He is 93 now and still going strong.
Sending you love and strength

@ddl1

I am sorry to read your update, but I doubt that the doctor could be sure that it is cancer with no biopsy, etc. It is quite common for people to have polyps, etc, which are not cancerous, though in some cases need to be removed to prevent them from becoming cancerous at a later stage. In any case, as I said in my other post, bowel cancer is often very treatable,

There's a huge difference between a polyp and a cancerous mass. They can absolutely diagnose from a rectal examination.

The consultant (who is one of the top in her field I believe) said it is definitely cancer. He could tell from what it felt like. This leads me to believe that it’s advanced. And if it’s so low down it could be felt then surely it must be massive. Or could it be rectal cancer? It’s all so confusing.

@Covidfears

The consultant (who is one of the top in her field I believe) said it is definitely cancer. He could tell from what it felt like. This leads me to believe that it’s advanced. And if it’s so low down it could be felt then surely it must be massive. Or could it be rectal cancer? It’s all so confusing.

It's likely rectal, yes. My dads was massive, but so far has never spread. So bigger doesn't mean more deadly. And my dad kept quiet about his symptoms for 2/3 years. Its going to be ok love. You will literally put your dads life in the consultants hands, and they will know exactly what to do to make him better.

Thank you so much for all your kind and supportive comments. It’s made me cry but more of a happier cry than earlier when I was despairing x

OP you really do need to just deal with the facts you know. The doctor said he thinks its cancer. Even then yourself you have written that you have assumed it is massive and advanced. They have not told him that at all. You are jumping 6 steps ahead and needlessly worrying yourself

Hi I’m interested to know how your father is doing x