To be utterly fed up with the neighbour's loud kids

[rosesinmygarden]

Their very long garden runs sideways along the back of ours and 2 other houses. Their play equipment is set about half way down the garden, so we'll away from their house but very close the our back fences.

Over lock down and through out the summer holidays the kids were in the garden 8am to 10/11pm on and off all day shouting and screaming really loudly. To the point where people on my conference calls could hear them over me speaking while I was working in the house. It really got me down but I tried to just put up as I realise lockdown was very tricky for lots of families.

We have never said anything because to be honest it sounds so petty to complain about children playing in their garden! Other neighbours did say something and it calmed down a bit and they seemed to be going inside earlier at night.

Last night at 10.40pm we were woken up by screaming and shouting again. It went on for about an hour. We could hear it clearly through double glazing. Nothing wrong, just children playing albeit ridiculously loudly! They are about 8-12 years old and there are 3 of them, plus frequent visitors.

As a parent, I can't understand why their parents think it is ok for them to regularly make this much noise. Why would you let your children do it? They must realise it is excessively loud and is disturbing people.

Well unless you say something to them how can it get better?

@5zeds Have you read all my posts about these people? Honestly I don't think me talking to them will have any effect. I'm not necessarily thinking there's a solution as some people are just selfish but I am really fed up about it right now.

Just remembered about Halloween last year.... the little buggers took huge handfuls of sweets even when I asked them to just take a couple so there would be enough for all the local kids. The parents stood there, watched it happen and shrugged at me. They clearly aren't the type to respond to polite requests. The mother won't say hello to me or my husband in the street unless we initiate - we must be so below her!

Thankfully we are all detached in our little row, so no adjoining neighbours being disturbed.

I fully suspect they encourage the kids to go outside so they don't have to deal with them in the house.

They have a massive house and he's a Christian minister. Just shows that Christians are not necessarily nice neighbours eh

Honestly I don't think me talking to them will have any effect. why ever not? There seems to be evidence to the contrary, as their other neighbours asked and they DID get quieter. If both sides request a change there’s every chance they’ll take even more notice. I’m not ire what their jobs/religion/etc have to do with it? Explain it’s effecting work/sleep/whatever and ask if they could be a little quieter especially at whatever time really impacts you. Give them a chance to put it right, and certainly don’t report them to the council before even saying anything

What did you say to these neighbours when they were initially so rude about your husband’s van and them being surprised you could afford the house? You also state they won’t say hello to you in the street. They sound like obnoxious arseholes to me and I would not be making an effort with pleasantries with people like that.

You shouldn’t let the noise continue without saying something. Either go round when the children are at their loudest and complain to them direct or report to the council every time as others have suggested.

Erm, I'm not reporting them @5zeds. Never have said I was.

The calming down coincided with two of the children going on holiday and then the school starting back. I explained this in my previous post. So I have very good reasons not to bother talking to them due to the way they've already behaved. You'll see why if you bother reading all my posts rather than just picking out things to niggle at.

I'd expect someone who is a Christian to have consideration of others and not to judge people on their professions. That's why it's entirely relevant in this situation. Probably another post you didn't bother reading?

My AIBU was asking about whether I was unreasonable to be really fed up with it.

You obviously think I'm being really unreasonable. Thanks for your opinion.

@IlovecatsyesIdo

What did you say to these neighbours when they were initially so rude about your husband’s van and them being surprised you could afford the house? You also state they won’t say hello to you in the street. They sound like obnoxious arseholes to me and I would not be making an effort with pleasantries with people like that.

You shouldn’t let the noise continue without saying something. Either go round when the children are at their loudest and complain to them direct or report to the council every time as others have suggested.

I was a bit speechless to be honest. What do you say to someone who is so openly rude and judgemental???? It would have been good to have a come back but sadly words failed me at the time.

DH runs a construction business and drives a 3 year old spotless van which is kept on our drive and can't even be seen from their house. Our other neighbour is also a tradesman and has the same van. They must really feel like they are living amongst peasants!!!!!

I think YABU to be fed up if you haven’t even asked them if they could be quieter. In fact not just unreasonable but ridiculous. You obviously did consider talking to the council because you rejected the idea because they could find out who did it. Be reasonable and give your neighbours a chance to accommodate you by ASKING them.

I’m not sure why you’re getting so touchy about it. Nothing will change unless you change something because they are perfectly happy with the noise level.

I'd expect someone who is a Christian to have consideration of others and not to judge people on their professions
You would think that wouldn’t you, but sadly this isn’t the case here. Being a Christian doesn’t mean the person automatically has self awareness, tact or humility as is demonstrated here.

I am married to a tradesman with a van too and both of us would give any neighbour a piece of our mind if they came out with disparaging comments like that! Although I can see how you would have been shocked by it and lost for words if you had only just met them.
I hope if they came scurrying round to your DH needing some help with some emergency or diy project he would tell them where to go, my DH would and he’d enjoy it too.

YANBU being annoyed with the noise at all but YABU if you don’t attempt to do something about it. Like I said up thread you shouldn’t let the noise continue without saying something. Either go round when the children are at their loudest and complain to parents direct or report to the council every time as others have suggested.

I think your lawn needs a sprinkler on it, OP. Because you have applied a chemical to the grass to counter mould caused by fallen leaves. Close to the fence.

My children have the odd time where there arguing, or my 6 year old asd son is screaming.
And I've even sent round chocolates to my neighbour to apologise over noise.
But I do try my hardest to tell them to keep it down and its not all day and never at night time.
Nearly 11pm is not an acceptable time to be outside screaming and shouting they should be in bed.

Thanks everyone. I'm going to try to bump into one of them this week and broach the subject. At least then I'll have tried.

I think i'd find the sweariest rap music I could find and set a stereo up by the fence for the little angels. Or a sprinkler

TBH though if they'd been doing that here "shut the fuck up" would have been yelled out of the window at 11pm.

Hang on - they have lodgers - presumably/possibly to help with finances? Yet look down on you being 'trades people' for having a white van!

Think I might have something to say about that!

I stopped the mum in the street today while I was dog walking and asked her if everything was ok on Saturday. She looked blank and I explained we had been woken by very loud screaming which worried us due to the time of night. I said we'd neatly called the police until we'd realised it was the children playing a very loud game. I asked if in future they could keep it down late at night please.

She managed to look very confused and said she hadn't got s clue what I was talking about.

I reiterated that it was her children in her garden and she just walked off huffing and waving her arms at me.

Don't think talking to her has helped...

What a tit she sounds. I’d call the police next time. Say it sounds like someone is being attacked.

Ok I might not but it’s definitely one to consider!

I will be very tempted.

When we were first woken I actually did think someone was being attacked. It's was so ridiculously loud.

I don't know how they don't get sore throats.

Any idea what church? Assuming there’s maybe a presbytery you can speak to about the fact they’re causing a nuisance?

Do you hear them when they are inside the house?
It is beyond me why some parents cannot try to control the volume of children both inside and outside.
Mine were always told to keep the noise down in the garden or they would have to come in.
My current neighbours both have grandchildren who are around so much they might as well live with them.
On one side a little girl who either screams or just shouts all the time, both indoors and outdoors.
The other side has much older children who yell and shout whilst jumping down on the trampoline and yes in the dark as they are tonight. Obviously their trampoline is right up against my side of the fence alongside my patio and not right down the bottom of their garden. Give me strength....

It’s probably a better idea to be direct rather than faux concern etc. She sounds difficult but asking if they are alright as a lead in to a noise complaint is odd and likely to put her on her back foot.

It’s perfectly reasonable to ask them to be quieter (especially at night ffs) BUT you do need to do that quite starkly. Talk to her husband if she’s intimidating. Something like knock at door when you know he’s in, if she answers “hi could I have a quick chat with Mr XXX?,” if he answers even easier. “We’ve been struggling to manage with the noise levels during working hours and late at night. Could you try and keep the volume down a little? At the moment we’re losing sleep and my conference calls are becoming notorious even with windows and doors tightly shut.”

Just spoken to dh. He spoke to our other neighbour on the way out to work this morning (the one who said something to the noisy neighbours).

Apparently they were told off when they complained! The children are apparently very creative and independent and don't make too much noise anyway. Apparently the dad told them they needed to loosen up a bit!

I don't think it's worth bothering to speak to them further.

She knew exactly what I was talking about. I made it very clear. I asked if she was aware of how much noise they make and she was clearly not interested in tackling it.

I’ve noticed in the last few years kids do literally scream, as in the way we would have done if we saw a ghost or being attacked. Loud shouts and playing is a bit annoying but this screaming blue murder is awful.

Speak to the Environmental Health team at the Council, they may be able to help.

@comingintomyown

I’ve noticed in the last few years kids do literally scream, as in the way we would have done if we saw a ghost or being attacked. Loud shouts and playing is a bit annoying but this screaming blue murder is awful.

Yes! It's the volume above everything else.

Our last house was next door to a school playground and we never felt like this as the noise was "scheduled". I'm a teacher myself so quite tolerant of noise levels but these kids are some thing else.

These parents are obviously completely deluded about their precious darlings.
I don’t even think recording the screaming and playing it to the parents would make any difference.
As several other PP’s have said report them to the council each and every time it happens and keep a record of it all.

@IlovecatsyesIdo

These parents are obviously completely deluded about their precious darlings. I don’t even think recording the screaming and playing it to the parents would make any difference. As several other PP’s have said report them to the council each and every time it happens and keep a record of it all.

I actually think they don't care. Their garden is very long (think like a field!), so I think they chuck the kids out in the garden to avoid dealing with their behaviour.

I hear from other people that their behaviour at school is not great so maybe they are just parents who don't care or don't want to take responsibility for the behaviour. The last couple of nights have been quiet again so I suspect it will be far more occasional in the winter. I will keep a note and hope it improves next summer.

Much as I would love to call the police and report screaming, this seems like a complete waste of their time and I am sure it wouldn't have the desired effect anyway.