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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think friend being abit lame?

12 replies

kerala · 18/10/2007 17:18

Its my birthday next week. Against my better judgment, and on the urging of friend x, I organised a night out. Most people I asked cant make it for good reasons (being out of town etc) so numbers were low. Now friend x has just left a message to say she and her dh wont be coming because he wants to watch the rugby.

Feel abit hurt but acknowledge I can be over sensitive sometimes. Have now binned the evening as its been stressing me out. AIBU to not want to speak to her at the moment?

OP posts:
meemar · 18/10/2007 17:19

not unreasonable to feel a bit hurt - she is being lame. Why can't she come out because DH is watching rugby?

llynnnn · 18/10/2007 17:22

yanbu, i would be hurt too. its one of my biggest hates when people say they will be coming to a party/night out etc then change their mind later! annoys me sooo much!!
can't you arrange a quiet meal/drinks with a close friend or dp? someone you can really rely on? or use the money you wouldve spent on that night out to treat yourself to some pamper treatments just for YOU.
hope it turns out to be a good birthday x

ThePhantomToiletFlusher · 18/10/2007 17:22

I think my pride would be a bit hurt, and I'd be feeling a bit of a billy no mates.

Not worth ruining a friendship for though. Give yourself a couple of days to have the hump with her and then get back to your normal friendship

Can you celebrate it another day instead?

Lulumama · 18/10/2007 17:24

awww, does she have to hand him his beer and doritos, and hold the remote for him

yes, she is being a bit lame

unless she wants to watch it too, in which case she is definitely lame to blow you out for the rugby.

i'll come out with you !

Original poster
kerala · 18/10/2007 17:34

Have a night out planned with my mum friends - full 9 woman turn out so dont feel too much of a saddo. But organising things for my bday does stress me out as I think too much about things and she knows this.

They are going to a friend of his to watch the game. She does not give two hoots about rugby. Also I thought the rule was you go to the thing you agreed to go to first? Or is that trumped by sporting stuff?

OP posts:
78Annie · 18/10/2007 17:48

I would be very hurt if I were you and I would tell her so!

theUrbanDevil · 18/10/2007 17:54

kerala - i've been ditched by my supposed bf before and it makes me feel shite! now if we arrange to do anything i make sure i txt her every day for the week before saying stuff like, "i'm really looking forward to going out!" and "What are you wearing? i'm wearing xxx" and "I've pumped 8oz of milk so we're all ready to go out!" it's probably a bit sad but i don't get to go out much, and doing that means she knows how much i'm looking forward to it, it's a bit of emotional blackmail - making her feel a bit shit if she cancels!!

in your situation i'd say something along the lines of "Never mind, we'll do it another time, i'm going with X, Y and Z instead." use that female jealousy thing to your own advantage!! and happy birthday!

newgirl · 18/10/2007 19:16

id be really pissed off to be honest nut im trying to think rationally for you

does she have kids? is babysitting an issue ie does her dh going out mean she would not have a babysitter now and they are taking kids to friend's house? no idea - but it might be that she got pressure from dh as it is a big sporting event etc etc and she is a bit stuck

if not the case then she is very selfish

MurderousMaveta · 18/10/2007 19:26

she´s being totally lame and I would be really pissed off too. In fact I can´t believe she didn´t even try to make up a better excuse.

lilospell · 18/10/2007 19:35

Why can't she come without DH? I have some sympathy with rugby supporters wanting to watch the final, it's a really big deal and totally unexpected. So, if she herself is a big rugby fan, YABU. But if it is her DH that wants to watch it then YANBU, she is being lame. We don't have to do everything with our partners!

Minum · 18/10/2007 19:42

Really sorry your birthday celebrations have gone pear shaped. I do loads on my own without dh, but Saturday nights are sacrosant, so maybe she feels she doenst want to do a weekend night out without partner, especially if most other people at your night out would be in couples.

YANBU not to want to talk to her (short term), its a pain in the b**

serendippity · 18/10/2007 19:45

Kerala YANBU at all! i'd be very hurt by this. As other have asked: does she enjoy rugby? if not it is a tad strange she won't come just cause her hubbys watching it!
I'd tell her she's upset you. Perhaps suggest another day also?

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