To not allow dd to stay with dad overnight

[purplepolo]

My ex has just moved in with a new girl (was recently seeing someone else so this is very new) my daughter (3 year old) has never met her.

Ex wants daughter over night tonight, and is apparently going to sleep on the sofa with daughter at his new gfs house.

Aibu in not sending dd, that's not a proper sleeping arrangement, and above all my daughters never met his new girlfriend. I want to compromise and say I will drop off early tomorrow morning and collect late evening, or aibu?
Thanks

Yanbu!

Yabu dropping DD off at house she's never been to before that belongs to a woman she has never met.

YANBU and I can’t imagine your DD would be comfortable either

Yanbu, unfortunately if he has contact through court there's not much you can do about it. My friend was in a similar position a few months ago and the police ended up being involved.

Thanks all, luckily not court arranged contact x

YANBU, I would not want my child sleeping on a sofa at a stranger's house.

Sleeping on his new girlfriend's sofa isn't going to be seen in her best interests even if a court had ordered contact!

If it's just a one off it might be fine to suggest the early drop off and later pickup,but he really needs to sort out safe, consistent, comfortable accommodation for her. If will be unsettling enough with the new girlfriend etc without having to sleep with dad on a sofa too, that is a ridiculous setup.

Ask him when he's going to have a proper sleeping setup in place - she needs to have a strong relationship with her dad, but it needs to be in a suitable environment.

During court proceedings exh was 'allowed' dc 3 +4 to doss on a couch while ex drank with his mates until he walked them home later on.
Courts are reckless with other people's dc - my barristers words. Can you work on better arrangements with ex? Suggest an air bed / kids ready bed. Better before a judge deems him a great guy regardless of how you feel.

Inappropriate. She hasn't met the girlfriend yet so shouldn't be sleeping at her house.

YANBU and you're totally right. No chance I'd agree to that set up.

I would just point blank refuse since its not court ordered. Even if it was I think I would refuse to hand the child over.

YANBU wtf he needs to provide her with adequate sleeping arrangements what's wrong with him.

YANBU
He can get a kids ready bed for £25/£30 or a z bed for less than £50. You can’t stop him from spending the time with his gf on contact time even if you think it’s ridiculous so early in a relationship.

She needs a bed, sofa bed, sofa to herself, or at the very least a comfortable arrangement on the floor. A 3 year old would need 2 seats worth of space to herself on a sofa, to be comfortable. So unless your XP's GF has a 2 seater or 2 x 2 seaters, it doesn't sound viable. And certainly not as a regular arrangement anyway, she should be sleeping on a proper bed or sofabed, with sheets or a sleeping bag.

Whilst it’s not ok, family courts in this country deem contact to be essential regardless how feckless, irresponsible or downright selfish some parents are.
At age 3 she’s either going to love it and see it as some great adventure OR she’ll refuse to settle and it will be a disaster.
How decent a parent is he generally?
Aside from the crapiness of him introducing her too soon, is he likely to comfort DD if she struggles to settle?
Sometimes in these situations it’s worth choosing your battles. I’d possibly suggest he nips to argos and gets her one of those little inflatable ready beds at least?

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

I would just point blank refuse since its not court ordered. Even if it was I think I would refuse to hand the child over.

Do you have experience of the family court system?

Doesn’t he have his own place where she can spend the night? If he’s on the sofa with her and therefore not actually with new GF anyway, why don’t they just stay at his (assuming he has a comfortable and appropriate set up?)