Terrified after hosp call.

[W2020]

Please can I ask for a handhold and some words to call me down?

DM had a heart attack two weeks ago, this morning I found her having a stroke. Been struggling to deal with it this morning so just called the hospital to see if there is an update.
Reception put me through to a&e, a&e put me through to another section.

On the other side of the phone I could hear a woman screaming and howling in pain. The most horrific sound I've ever heard. The man told me they were in the middle of a medical and emergency and (the polite version of) go away.

I don't know if that poor woman is my mother. I'm clinging on to the fact it's unlikely. But it sounded like her. I can't stop shaking.

It horrible for you and such a worry. My dm was in hospital recently and just speaking to her on the phone (visitors not allowed) and hearing her in pain and distress was awful, even just for a few minutes until I spoke to the nurse caring for her. I hope you get some reassurance soon. 💐

It was highly unlikely to be your mum you heard.

Strokes take away people's ability to talk or move if they are severe.

Try to stay calm and phone again in an hour or so .

Surrounded by strangers when your mind is not your own and you're trying to trust/work out your surroundings?!
Hospital policies are for staff to adhere to not family. Pack a bag for mum, go and sit with her.
Search johnscampaign.
I'm so sorry you're going through this.

It's incredibly unlikely to be your mum because strokes just don't do that to people. Much more likely to be sudden acute or post-surgical or - to be honest - someone receiving very bad news. The hospital has a lot going on and I know you've had a horrible shock, but fortify yourself and give them a call back in a couple of hours because it sounds like they just couldn't spare the hands/time at that moment. All the best for your mum, she's in the right place.

How old is your DM? Just asking, because if she’s on a ward with elderly people it’s quite likely that one or two may have dementia, and please believe me that such people can get very distressed, yell and scream even if someone is just trying to brush their teeth, or give them a wash.

I don't have any advice really but I just wanted to offer a handhold to you @W2020 - my mother was in hospital and I wasn't allowed to visit her because of the blanket Covid restrictions. Communicating by ringing the ward was awful and I wouldn't wish that situation on anyone, so please know I'm sending you all my best wishes and strength at this horrible time.

I hope when you do ring back you get some reassurance. I agree with pp that your mum is in the best place to be looked after, but that's not going to help your anxiety much, I know.

What you heard could've been a patient needing emergent medical intervention such as needing to have an external pacemaker used or to be shocked out of a dangerous heart rhythm,or a dressing change that is painful,etc or just a shot-you get a lot of verbal screaming especially in confused patients like those with dementia. Please know simply hearing that doesn't mean it's your mother or she won't be receiving good care. You must be so frightened and anxious but believe me all of us healthcare workers are trying to treat every patient like they're our own family in these trying times

Thank you everyone. I've calmed down quite a bit now.
Exdp has gone home because he wants to play video games there's a reason he's an ex I suppose. Point is I'll be waiting until this evening now to call back, when DD is in bed so I can concentrate on it properly.

I hope you get some answers when you call back op.

Hope everything is ok and that the poor patient wasn't your mum x

Update, dm is okay and doing really well. I'm taking her some clothes today but they say I'm not allowed to see her. Seems very frustrating to have to take a long walk and a train journey (I don't drive) to not be allowed in. But they have to do it I suppose

That's good. Hopefully you'll get some comfort from being close by even if you can't go in. If you're religious at all most/all hospitals have some form of chapel which may be open. They're a nice calm space to get your thoughts together, pray if you want to. I hope today goes well.

Glad you’re doing a journey to take clothes rather than collect her personal effects.

Don’t forget toothbrush, hair brush etc.

Very glad to hear this, OP. Has she got a mobile phone? If she's well enough to have one that will save a lot of frustration trying to ring the ward for updates. Take the charger as well of course.

Best of luck, I'm rooting for you both.

Excellent news op. Just remember, no visitation is also keeping your DM safe. The lesser the footfall on the ward, the safer everyone is right now. The long journey will be worth it to know your DM has what she needs and she will know you are thinking of her when she receives the items. Maybe you could include a wee note or card reminding her how much you love her? Take care

I work in a hospital and shouting and screaming is quite common, especially on the care of older person wards. People are confused, in pain and frightened. It can be really distressing to hear and of course you would wonder if it was your mum. I'm glad you've had an update that she's ok.

Pleased to hear she’s doing well.